Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Parents & Family Questions

Is she worth finding and how to convince my dad to let me find her?

K well my mom abused me in all the ways you could imagine from the ages 4-7 and then my parents got a divorce and I moved with my father all the way to saudi arabia. I havent seen her since I was 7 and im 18 at the moment and I havent even heard a word from her. I dont even know if shes dead or alive. I have no contact with her or her family or her childeren (my half sis and bro.both older then me.) its like really messed up. In simple words: anyone related to me in america I have no clue of their where abouts. I tried explaining to my father that I want to find her but he said no. If she wanted to get in touch she would of got in contact (she knows all the info abt me and my bro and sis-real bro and sis.) n he said the same thing abt my relatives. I feel alone. Like not knowing nething abt my relatives and my mom and I was wondering, after everything she has done to me, all the sleepless nights and hitting and whiping etc. Should I really find her? Is she worth the trouble? if yes then how the hell do I convence my dad and step mom to help me out?

Sitting here with open ears!

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Some parents are extremely stubborn. I don’t think your dad will be too happy about it and I don’t think he ever will. I understand how you would want to contact your mom but why hasn’t she contacted you? Thats so weird. However, you don’t know what she’s feeling or what not. I think you should try contacting her somehow through email first if you can get it. She should have a lot to say about her hitting you and she should apologize, if she doesn’t I would just leave it and not make the effort to see her otherwise. Also, maybe you can call her even, ask your dad if you could just do at least that much and tell him why you want to talk to her in the first place. Be careful if you do get the chance to talk to her. Don’t expect anything of it and don’t let yourself get hurt or cry if you don’t hear what you want to hear from her. She’s not worth it if she isn’t sorry for hurting her own daughter. Best of luck to you.

Answer #2

She’s your mother and it seems to me someone is not telling the whole story here. If you want to find her then find her. Its worth knowing about your mom.

Answer #3

I say you shud find her and talk things out with her. tell your dad it is something you need to figure out and you need to find her. never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

Answer #4

If your 18 it doesn’t matter if your dad says no or not. Do you have your mothers maiden name? You can go to the social security office and say that you need a new social security card and they will likely ask you your moms maiden name. Tell them what happened and they will likely tell you what your mothers maiden name is then you can look her up Or search for you brother he has the same last name as you and will be easier to locate probably and then he could possibly know where your mom is. Or for a few hundred dollars you could get a private investigator to find her for you.

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

Family Travel, LGBT Travel, Parenting Blog

Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

LGBT family travel blog, Parenting blog, Travel blog

Advisor

Kids Chat Room Online

Online Safety for Kids, Child Development, Parenting Tips

Advisor

MySurrogateMom

Surrogacy Services, Parenting Support, Fertility Assistance

Advisor

Baby Bath Moments

Parenting, Child Care, Health & Safety