Is it normal to be afraid to get another boyfriend?

I was in an abusive relationship last year, and I had went out with the guy twice. My aunt told me not to go out with him, because if it didn’t work the first time, it definately wouldn’t work the second, but I went out with him anyway. About two months into it, he started asking me to have sex with him (I was 12 at the time, now I’m 13), but I refused. When I refused, he said he would kill himself or me if I didn’t, so I broke up with him, but he wouldn’t let me. He threatened to kill himself or me, he said he was going to hang himself (or me..or both of us..), etc. When my mom wouldn’t let me go to the movies with him, I was actually happy because I didn’t want to be alone with him, but he started calling my mom a b*tch…he had no respect for my family or friends, and I’ve lost so many friends because of him. Now I’m afraid to try to get another boyfriend, and I turn down everyone who asks because I’m just so afraid that’s going to happen again. Is that normal?

Answer #1

I think rawrgrrl answered your question PERFECTLY! Your 13 years old, and already you’ve had 3 boyfriends. You need to start looking at yourself and ask, ‘why do I need a boyfriend?” You are dating for all the WRONG reasons. You went out with a boy just to make him happy? What is that saying about the kind of person you are? Not a very confident one. You arent going to be able to pick out cheaters just by looking, and thats why you ASK QUESTIONS if you dont really know him. Boys are very immature, and usually have one thing on their minds. You need to hang out in groups and just get to know them. Find out from other people what hes like, and if hes ever cheated on past girlfriends or was abusive in any way. You dont just jump into a relationship without getting to know the person first! I knew my boyfriend for 6 mos. before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. I never saw him as boyfriend material in the beginning, because I wasnt looking for a relationship, but I started developing feelings for him as time went by. Its because I really got to know him on a social level, and I liked his personality. We started dating, and after a couple months, we became official boyfriend/girlfriend. Theres really no hurry to rush into anything, especially at your age.

Answer #2

You are a bit young to be so involved with boys. To be frank, at your age boys are morons and are just starting to learn how to date and treat women. Plus a lot of them have only one thing on their mind. And your ex seems to be nuts and you seem to be so nice! No one deserves to date a crazy obsessive person. If I were you sweetie, I would lay off guys for a while (especially with your track record). You should be focusing on yourself because you need to figure out your interests, who you are, and what you think is most important in life. Dating is not important. So I think its natural to feel a bit apprehensive about guys because of your last boyfriend. But no worries because you should not date for a while. Plus, once you are older guys will see you as so perfect and amazing yet unobtainable that you will get your pick of the lot. Hope I helped! let me know if you need anymore advice!

Answer #3

Nobody is treating you like crap. If you cant accept everyones advice without criticism, why bother asking… ?

Answer #4

yes it’s completely normal but don’t let it get to you. sure some guys treat girls with absolutly no respect but not all guys are like that. you’ll meet somebody very special. you just have to wait for the right one. don’t turn all guys down because of this. give them a chance, even though boys can be complete @ssholes, not all of them are like that.

Answer #5

^^Wait, I think you read this wrong or something. I’ve only had three boyfriends in my whole life, and I said I don’t care about dating.I’ve been cheated on, I’ve had an abusive boyfriend, and I went out with a guy I didn’t like just to make him happy. I haven’t dated a guy in like, a year…so your answer doesn’t really help..

Answer #6

mnarman092–THANK YOU! That’s the answer I was looking for, thanks.

Answer #7

I didn’t ask this question to be treated like crap…thanks..

Answer #8

Yeah, that’s what I meant. Thanks =]

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