How to get Indepedence?

You do have friends? Taxis? Neighbors? Class mates? A train station? Get to another bank. Open up an account in your name. Get a mailbox at the post office. Send your mail to the mailbox. You dont need your dad to get you credit. Call up a credit company, fill out an application, and voila, you have a credit card. I understand it isnt easy with parents like yours, but come on. Seriously? You’re not 15. You dont have to wait around for your parents to do stuff for you. Call up the doctors and dentist. Withdraw the release of information (that’s what you signed). Make it very clear that you really wouldnt want to have to get lawyers involved if ANYONE got notified of your personal information. Get someone to teach you how to drive. You really dont need your parents for this. You go to school? Get a job at your school? Or nearby your school? Yes, you are working against your parents here, but they’ve some how managed to convince you that you are helpless without them. You’re not…

Actually calling my parents for a loan is what they would prefer. My dad said he doesn’t want me having to pay off any loans like he did. I’ve thought of all those things how trying to do them. But their helicopter is just too much. As stupid as it sounds I’m afraid to withdraw the information from doctors and dentists theys till pay for it you know and I dont want the big old fights that will follow. My mom doesn’t want me to learn to drive with anyone other than her or dad. Heck I’ve even asked my brother and my parents told him no and hes 25.

I don’t know how a credit card works and I don’t want any trouble from it is the problem. If I get a second mailbox I dont know if I could pay for it, and I’d have to ask for a ride to the place and my neighbors tell everything to my parents anyway. Even a job on campus is a no, sides it’s the middle of semester nothing would be open.

The plain and simple truth is, you’ll never gain your independence if you’re so “afraid” of doing adult things and aren’t willing to take the consequences for doing them. (That may mean getting into a fight with your parents.) But if you’re over eighteen, they have no say in whether or not you open up your own account or get a credit card. Why wouldn’t your parents want you to experience the world on your own? Maybe you should talk to them about it.

To me though it just sounds like you’re coming up with a whole bunch of excuses. Being an adult means getting things done, any way that you can. There’s no action without a reaction, so sometimes we just have to pull our pants up and do what we have to do.

I’m sorry but it sounds like you do not want to be helped. YOU ARE 21. Learn how to stand up for yourself. Move out if you have to and find a job while you are searching for an apartment.

You are just making excuses. And so what if getting a credit card will cause trouble, there is going to be a time in your life when you and your parents are not going to agree, so learn to DEAL with it.

I’m sorry, I’m going with advocate on this one. You’re not looking for help, you’re looking for someone to agree how horrible your parents are for keeping you locked up. Well if you act this helpless, I’d probably keep you locked up too. And look, it’s not that I dont understand. I moved to a different country before my 17th birthday on my own. Although my parents paid for everything (thankfully), I still had to figure out basic stuff. Like how to use a washing machine, how to pump gas, how to change bed sheets (thank God for my room mate who taught me how to change sheets). Ok, so I was helpless. I’d never washed, ironed, or done anything for myself. I had a stranger show me how to pump gas, I had some random person in my dorm building show me how to wash my clothes, and I had the cop show me how to stick the renewal tag onto my plate (yeah, I got pulled over because I didnt know about this). You know what, yeah, being helpless sucks. But I had to get over it. My parents arent here, so guess who deals with the bank accounts and finances here? I had to learn what a CD was, how to open accounts, how credit cards worked, etc etc etc, and all without the help of my parents. Thank God they pay for everything, but if they didnt, I’d figure it out. I’ve learned that I can figure out a lot by asking for help.

A mailbox costs (as far as I can see), between $3 and $5 a month. You spend more on a drink at starbucks. You can afford a mailbox. So what if your parents dont want you to learn how to drive with someone else. You dont have to tell them. Just go do it. You can open a bank account, walk in, tell them you want to open an account (first get the mailbox), and they’ll walk you through it. You cant find a ride? Ask someone at your school to give you a ride. I get it. This stuff is scary. It really is. I used to HATE talking on the phone to do stuff, insurance, telephone, cable. My mother set up my entire house. But then, she left. I had no choice. Unfortunately it appears your parents are not going to push you out and allow you to fly. So, you’re going to have to step up and do it yourself. There’s always going to be a million excuses (as we can see you’ve already given them to us). Bottom line is, if you want to hear how horrible your parents are, go elsewhere. If you want someone to rescue you from your parents, go elsewhere (because then you’re just going to become dependent on them).