How Do You Move On From Your First Love?

A year and a half ago I did the stupidest thing I could have ever done in my entire life and remains to this day in fact my biggest fear and guilt. I have not come to complete terms in accepting it, but I manage. I fell madly in love with my best friend. He fell in love with me two, problem though we lived far, far apart. I flipped out on him in the long run cause I was so immature - and broke his heart without realizing it until about 5 months ago when I wrote him a letter. I know he feels the same way for several reasons 1. the last time I called him which was about a week before I sent the letter he almost started to cry. 2. he has remained single. 3. his parents wont let him talk to me cause he suffers from a broken heart - which makes me even more sad and depressed then I am already for causing this situation.

1. I am not over him at all. 2. I indeed have dated other guys but always dumped them cause I just cant let go of my best friend 3. I get this funny feeling in my stomach that keeps me up all night (even though I know he is gone I cant cope with the fact that I have to get over him) How do you get over your love when they are all you think about, all you want. I would give up everything right now just to tell him I love him even if it didnt do anything.