How can I deal with these put downs?

I have a high level of arthritis that leaves me feeling very tired and emotional the majority of the time. Lately my Fiance and I haven’t been having too much sex because of it, and I told him that I feel really bad about it because I can’t make him as happy as I want to. I said, ‘I bet all your other ex girlfriends were a lot better, and he said ‘Well..’ Last night we got in a little fight and he said I was ‘Bland’ It really hurts my feelings.. only because I can’t help feeling like crap all of the time. Am I in the wrong? Should he be comforting me? Or what..

Answer #1

Now, I don’t support these kinds of premarital relationships, but you’re in a tight spot. Men and women are wired a little differently, and while you’re boyfriend might love you to death, the lack of physical intimacy most likely IS bugging him, whether he admits it or not. The lack of it subconsciously tells him that you don’t trust him, don’t really feel the way you say, don’t appreciate him, don’t care about him, or any combination of many different similar things.

Really and truly, he’s probably frustrated. He’s dealing with emotions, his feelings towards you, and male hormones. Trust me from experience, not a good combination. A sexually frustrated male is about as pretty as an emotionally frustrated female.

I think you both need to have a good talk when you’re both in a good mood about all of this. And maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to look into superior treatment for your arthritis. That isn’t pleasant to deal with at any age, at any time.

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