How am I gonna live?

ok so I met this girl this past summer she was in a two year relationship with a guy and he cheated on her and she found out and she was completely crushed and heartbroken she loved him so much he was her first and everything but anyway I met her on a social site she friend requested me and I looked at her photos and commented one saying she was pretty and she commented me back saying awww thanks and that’s where it all started we were just friends for a while she was talking to my best friend and they dated for about a week and things started to fade for them and I started to like her during all this because we talked pretty much every day and so then one day I told her and she said she was nothing special but I told her you’re very special to me and so then we started talking and then I told my best friend we were and he got really mad and we got in this huge fight that lasted for about 2 months but it settled down and we became friends again but back to this… she would thank me every day for helping her and being there for her after her ex and she told me she never wanted to lose me and I definitely didn’t want to either that whole summer we talked I sent her goodmorning texts every morning and still do she loves it but that whole summer we never got to see each other which was rough on us she lives 35 minutes away from me but after 4 months of waiting to finally meet her it happened she cheerleads and I showed up to one of her games as a surprise it took me a while to find her she texted me telling me that they won and I replied by telling her I was there she didn’t believe but I told her where I was and she found me I don’t think I ever smiled so much in my life she was so beautiful even they she disagrees with me on that but she was we did more hugging than talking it was just awesome and from there on out I went to every home game she had everything was just perfect I hadn’t been that happy in 2 years as months passed things changed the week before christmas I got to see her and I gave her, her present I got her titanic her favorite movie and we just chilled for a while and then as I had to go we hugged and I went in for a kiss and she turned away so I just kissed her on the cheek later I texted her asking why she wouldn’t kiss me and she said she had a lot going on so I just left it alone a couple of days later I asked what was going on and she told me she was thinking about a lot and she said she didn’t wanna talk about it so I again I just left it alone and then finally 2 days after christmas I asked her if she still liked me and she told that she thinks its better that we’re just friends I didn’t know what to do or what to say I had been through this many times before but this time it was different it hit me hard I cried in the shower that night for about 20 minutes eventually I settled down two days later she texts me asking me if I was alright and then she told me that she was sorry and that I was the most amazing boy she had ever met and to stay that way and she said she couldn’t imagine life without me so things got a little better but I still feel a little pain I still really like her and have feelings for her and here lately from what I sense and see I think she still has feelings for me or at least I like to think that but she doesn’t seem the same ever since she just wanted to be friends we never dated we just talked for a really long time because she wasn’t ready for a relationship yet and I told her I’d wait for until she was ready but I just wanna know if she still has feelings I just can’t stop thinking about her I wanna know