My friend's fiance on dating site looking for women. What to do?

My friend got recently engaged, at the end of May. I accidently came upon his fiance’s OKcupid profile as he came up as a match and his profile states what that he is looking to date but nothing about being engaged or in a relationship for that matter. All pics seem to have been uploaded in June and July. My question is twofold: 1. is it possible that it is just playing around, like a substitute for porn? (Like Weiner sending pic of his penis to women while committed to his wife)? Or, is it a sign of possible infidelity? 2. Do I alert my friend, but only anonymously, or simply let it be? Thanks for your answers

Answer #1

Yes alert her. Send a link of his profile from an anonymous email (make one up) to her email. Or go on your OKcupid while she is around and he isnt and run into it again then show her. This is something she needs to know. It is not like por*n. These are real people looking for relationships. If my friend new about it and didnt tell me I would be mad. She is about to commit to a life long fulfillment with this guy…. She def needs to know

Answer #2

I have caught my BF on dating sites before and I hacked it and seen the messages he wrote to girls. It was bad. But we moved past it and things are way better now. Its something that can be worked out if she is willing. Some guys will try to get away with whatever they can and its the woman who needs to put her foot down and let him know she is better than that and wont stand for it.

Answer #3

Interesting. So, you think that it is serious, but yet minor in some level. But definitely let her know. (I can only do it anonymously as people stay together and friendship may be ruined because of him)

Answer #4

I understand. Anonymously is the best way. Yes I was crushed when I found out my BF did that. But not if he watches p.orn. He may just be playing around but it could lead to something more serious if it hasnt already

Answer #5

I found out through facebook. The person he was talking to found him on facebook and seen he was engaged to me then told me and sent me the link to his profile. I am glad that I found out and because of that we have grown in our relationship and things couldnt be better

Answer #6

That is good to hear. I will do consider it. thanks so much for it.

Answer #7

Your welcome. Let us know the outcome of your decision :)

Answer #8

Will do :)

Answer #9

i sent an anonymous email. your advice was invaluable

Answer #10

Trust me. More secret accounts are to follow if this isn’t stopped in its tracks. Even then tho, there is a possibility that it will happen again. Some people simply never learn.

Answer #11

what happened?

Answer #12

nothing that I know of. But I sent her an anonymous email with info and an anonymous letter to her work just in case my email got lost in spam as it is a made up name. when i look at his profile today, he is constantly online. he is stupid as his profile pic on the dating site is the same on FB, someone can find out who he is. I thanked you ‘cause I was torn and you convinced me that it is best that she is equipped with the information and make a decision from thereon as in your case, it brought you and your partner closer.

Answer #13

yea… some women just dont want to know the truth… or want to face it. I hope that she at least understands hpow emotionally damaging that can be to a relationship. Its best to be open and honest. Has she said anything to you about it? You did your part and you should be proud.. Your a good friend.

Answer #14

Thank you! I don’t see her all the time as we are very busy, and her in particular with her 2 and 1/2 year relationship. You must know how that gets. So, I am not sure I will hear anything, except perhaps via her sister whom I see more frequently. So, we will see how things developed. I’ll keep you posted.

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