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Ex boyfriend :/

So my ex and I dated for about 6 months and we were totally in love. We were almost perfect for each other. Then he broke up with me. Not even a day later he started dating my best friend! About 2 weeks passed and he txt me just starting a regular conversation like nothings wrong and of course I respond because I still love him. Then we started talking more and more until we spilled guts to eachother. He told me he still was madly in love with me and I told him I still loved hime too. And then his girlfriend found out about this and got mad. And she made him choose between me or her and he chose her. So him and I didnt talk for another 2-3 weeks and I caved and texted him saying hey whats uo how have you been and stuff and he replied and we became fine again but then when school started again he didnt talk to me at all. So we didnt talk for about a month. And then the beginning of october he started texting me again… Ughhh its sooo fustrating because we both know we still love eachother but his girlfriend is in the way. What do I do??? Do I stay on this rollercoaster or do I quiet??? Please help… Am I stupid for loving him???

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Answer #1

this is an unfortunate situation. there is a line from a movie that I know will help with this situation. it I, ‘if you focus on the problem, you will never see the solution’. this is from the movie patch adams. and the line is so true. if you keep focusing on you and him, you will never see what you should and need to do. you need to forget about him. I know that you love him, and because of that you feel like you have to be with him. this is how people work: they feel what they want in life with their heart. some people will go get whatever their heart wants regardless of the consequences. you are following your heart right now. yes, it is a very nice lovey dovey idea (following your heart), but it is not always what is best for you. you need to use your brain. your brain and your heart need to work together. your heart is telling you what you want, but you have to think and think really hard; is what you want best for you? is what you really want making you happy? are you happy now? at the moment, it seems not. you need to ask yourself these questions. will you really be happy with him? is he the only way you can be happy? do I really want him after what he did? why would you want someone who left you for your friend? move on from him. you do not need him. in all the time that you were obsessing over him, you could have moved on and found someone else. will having him make you as happy as you want? will having him affect your mood? do you absolutely need him to be happy? will not having him make you any less of a person? ask yourself these questions. you will find the answer if you really think about it. forget him. move on. you could be happier. I hope I helped! =)

Answer #2

but is it difficult? why is it so difficult to control your mind, or your feelings? if you can move your arm at will, why cant you feel how you want to feel? you are trying to be detatched to him, but instead of just trying, why dont you just do it? it is so difficult, yet so easy. it is totaly mental. why should you or why would you like someone who is currently hurting you? you don’t want him. you want what you had with him. you miss the love, the affection, the connection, etc. but you dont want it with him. your mind is telling you that you want it with him just because he was the last one who you had that with. because your mind doesnt see who you could have that connection with, it has to automatically go to the last person you had it with. it is your mind trying to please itself and identify something with it. you need to let go. it is not difficult. it is easy. being happy and feeling what you want is all in your mind. find a way to control it. get what you want.

Answer #3

wow, he’s keeping you around as a ‘just in case’ girl. trust me I know, im a guy, I can see through it. ditch him, dont fall for anything he says what he’s doing is low, and its not right AT ALL. I understand how you feel, and I hope you find someone way better.

Answer #4

Ok hunny, really I think you should forget about him. I know its sooo hard to, but all he is doing is hurting you. What you need to do, is get him out of your life and stay away from boys for a lil while till you feel that your ready. and once you are, who knows you might find someone even better!

Answer #5

You helped me really think and understand this situation and your right I do need to move on! Thank you sooo much! :D

Answer #6

Thanks everyone :) you all really helped!

Answer #7

yea trueee… I just wish it wasnt so difficult :(

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