How do you break up with a guy?

Well I wrote this letter for him, and it just says basically: how much fun I’ve had with him, he’s really nice and he made me trust him, but I think we should just be friends and see other people for the plain simple fact that I hate the way he asks me for money and makes me pay, makes me drive and won’t pick me up ever from my house…. (the last part of the letter says:) this is more painful for me than it is for you because I could have grown to love you if you were more financially responsible.

I think you need to drop this guy like a bad habit. I don’t think you owe him a letter. I especially don’t think anything you say or do will magically fix him and make him financially responsible. A lot of times people feel like they need permission or some noble reason to break up with someone. Naturally if someone is married they have legal obligations and if someone is engaged they owe their fiancée an explanation for breaking their promise to marry but short of that you can tell him that it just isn’t working for you. All this stuff about you having fun with him, that he seems nice and trustworthy give him hope for reconciliation. A clean break is generally best for everyone involved. There is an old saying, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Trying to soften the blow often just prolongs the misery. You need to move on and he needs to move on.

I think you need to drop this guy like a bad habit. I don’t think you owe him a letter. I especially don’t think anything you say or do will magically fix him and make him financially responsible. A lot of times people feel like they need permission or some noble reason to break up with someone. Naturally if someone is married they have legal obligations and if someone is engaged they owe their fiancée an explanation for breaking their promise to marry but short of that you can tell him that it just isn’t working for you. All this stuff about you having fun with him, that he seems nice and trustworthy give him hope for reconciliation. A clean break is generally best for everyone involved. There is an old saying, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Trying to soften the blow often just prolongs the misery. You need to move on and he needs to move on.

totally agree. I don’t think you owe him anything either, if anything he owes you some money! :p