Best friend's marriage over

My best friend just told me that his wife of two years has been cheating on him. He has a recording of a discussion she had with her sister in which she described having sex with a guy she met at a bar, comments on the weed that she’s apparently smoking, and conspires to get child support from my friend. Obviously she’s screwed from a legal standpoint; I can’t imagine a judge giving a conspiring drug addict custody of their two children.

He’s meeting her right now, but I’m going to be keeping him company once she leaves. From the sound of it, there’s no chance of them reconciling. She’s set on moving out with her sister and dating this guy, and it sounds like she’s doing and saying everything she can to make the situation as painful as possible.

I’m going to try and stay with him for a while. He’s absolutely devastated. I think the only thing keeping him going right now are his kids. What kind of advice should I give him? What can I do to help out? Is there anything I should advise him to do in order to prepare for divorce?

I’d especially like to hear from anyone who’s gone through a divorce. Thanks

Answer #1

This is a very hard question to answer. I have never been through a divorce but my husband has (he was separated from his wife when we met and then she refused to divorce him for 2 years). The only thing you can do is to be there for him, basically what you’re doing now.

In Michigan there is no such thing as a fault divorce. All divorce’s become No Fault. This means that while he may have proof that she cheated a judge isn’t going to care. For him not to pay spousal support then he would have to make sure that all property and belongings are distributed equally. If a judge feels that one of the parties does not have collateral to support themselves then they will get spousal support. Of course there are other things that also factor into this decision.

As for custody, normally the children would live with the parent who has the most emotional ties to them, the one who is best able to care for them. Basically normally the mom. But if your friend can prove that she is a drug addict things would go a lot better for him.

From my husband I learned that the best thing he can do for his children is to NEVER talk bad about their mother (in front of them). Eventually this could drive his children away from him. As painful as this is for him he needs to push it aside for his kids. He needs to stay out of confrontations with is wife. She will use everything he says against him.

I’m not sure if the tape he made would be able to be used but it sure would help if he let his lawyer listen to it. Oh yes, make sure he gets a good lawyer.

Hoped this helped

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