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At what point does one become arrogant.How could one know whether he's arrogant or just realistic.I'm contaplating whether thinking highly of myself is arrogant or just realistic.Can someone help me out?
People call me arrogant, all the time. But all I really am is, ABSOLUTELY a 100% certain about who I am, what I am capable of and everything which leaves my mouth. Realistic is when your self love and cockiness is based on STRONG tangible rationalizations. Arrogant is when you're unrealistic about who you are and what you're capable of. Arrogance also, flows from a place of insecurity.
I do not buy that conventional ethic, 'Pretend to be humble even when you know you are awesome'. At it's root again, it's a LIE. When you know you're awesome and you're suppressing it just to micromanage your perception in other people's eyes, all you're really doing is being a reactive liar with the security of the veil of positive intentions as a rationalization for the positiveness of your actions.
But like I mentioned above, arrogance flows from a place of INSECURITY which involves wanting to show off. That's something I never feel I need to do. Arrogant people, will typically go pathetically out of their way to flaunt their arrogance and the attributes they're arrogant about.
Also, arrogance comes from a place of seeing yourself as someone superior to others and inclines you to continue feeling the superiority by putting other people down. As you can tell, that's pathologically insecure. --- If someone needs to put other people down to maintain their sense of self and image in front of others, something is psychologically wrong with the person.
I love myself EXTREMELY, some people can call that narcissism - I do myself sometimes, as a joke. But that's just it. I love myself, because I have absolutely no reason to hate myself. My self love is a reward from me to myself for achieving everything I've achieved in life and am in the process of achieving. However, I never in no case, love my friends, my family and people in general less than I love myself. Neither do I think of myself as being superior to anyone or feel the need to show off.
It's like I know I am awesome and I love myself a lot but, then again, everyone is awesome in one way or the other. Isn't it?
People with a LACK of self love in a bad way, people infested with insecurity and a low of opinion of themselves will typically though, throw snarky, hateful comments whose purpose is to make you identify with the 'arrogant' image. They'll call you arrogant to get the 2 second dirty high of good emotions of being in superiority over someone. -- Don't listen to these kind of people. And more importantly, don't IDENTIFY with these people's opinions.
As an end note, you'll be hated by some people no matter what. So, don't worry about haters. If you've tangible reasons to believe you're awesome and love yourself, do so, ABSOLUTELY unapologetically. But just be careful not to attach your ego to the equation.
--Andrew
Agreed, but that's a beta male, the opposite of an alpha male. Nope, if you look for validation externally, you'll be doing what a desperate needy person does. It's like a dog scrambling for pieces of food. Plus the reason you shouldn't look for external validation is, the externals keep fluctuating based on a variety of variables. Some person might simply not validate you, because they are insecure - thus, you cannot trust external sources of validation. You have to use common sense here, of course you don't want to be some delusional weirdo living in dream land but at the same time, you shouldn't be the dog scrambling for bits and pieces of food. There's a place called 'balance', the extreme of anything is bad. --Andrew
Being an alpha male, though, buddy has got nothing to do with putting other people down. An alpha male, is an epitome of masculine maturity. They are leaders not because they dominate, but because they EMPOWER. They are such strong men that people typically insecure, tend to find peace by hating on them because they can't find anything to poke holes at. Don't mistake alpha males to be bad :) You're attain REAL maturity when you don't need people to know what you're capable of to feel secure or certain. You're looking externally for validation, from people who are looking for validation themselves from you! Look internally instead. You do not need to obtain your sense of self from anything external at all. --Andrew
4th P again:I don't feel ,in general,superior to others.I'm superior in some things,they're superior to me in other things.But here's the arrogant(maybe) part of me : I consider the things they're superior to me less important than some of the things I'm superior...The people who usually put other people down to make themselves feel superior are those "Alfa-males","Bad motherf*ckers".
1st Paragraph:Sometimes,it's hard to be certain what I'm capable of when there are some,not many,people telling me I'm deluding myself.The reason not many people are telling me this is because I haven't told many people what I think I'm capable of achieving.But I never fully reveal what I think,I can't 100% be honest of what I think because,hey,some thoughts are meant to stay hidden.
3rd P:Insecurity is not my problem.But consider this:Does wanting someone to know,to believe,what you're capable of doing count as a desire to showing off,or is that just the desire to shere what you know with someone.
It doesn't matter what they say, unless you buy into it. If they say you are deluding yourself, but you don't feel so, don't second think about absolutely dismissing their opinion without identifying with it at all.
4th P:Well,I have to admit,I do put some kids down sometimes.But that's only when one of them asks a really,really stupid question,or is just talking bullsh*t in front of everyone.
A person that can only rely on putting the weak and insecure down isn't an alpha male.If I look internally only for validation I will be doing exactly what an arrogant person does.
6th P:That's whay I'm saying .Some people are better in some things and worse in other,and their awsomeness lyies(I can't spell) in their superiority at some things.
2nd P: I always talk back at the teachers,that's probably why most of them hate me.I almost never let them "get away" with anything,I cannot hold it.
2nd P: I always talk back at the teachers,that's probably why most of them hate me.I almost never let them "get away" with anything,I cannot hold it.
I wanna give you 50likes,great answer.If I could,I would,but I can't,so I shan't. :D
*you'll not *you're
