Home More advice Love & Relationships
It does become an issue because women think there is something wrong with me and all my male friends just think I'm gay. I find strip clubs degrading so when they try and drag me to one I refuse. I've never been fortunate enough to find a girlfriend, growing up my parents moved so much I went to 21 schools before I graduated high school so I never really had friends to be a wingman or help me socialize with women. Not that it's held me back today, almost all my closest friends are women, and once in a while I'll start to fall in love with one of them after a few years of being good friends I'll be stupid enough to tell her how I feel and they push me away and either I lose her all together or we become acquaintances. I don't know how to pick up a complete stranger, from what I see and hear women don't like random guys hitting on them and I'd feel out of place trying. Every woman I know thinks I'm super sweet, nice and charming person but sweet is code for pathetic in my book because it hasn't helped me find anyone to love me. So as stupid as it sounds how does one pick up a woman if they don't like random guys bothering them and how do you tell a friend you love her without losing her? And how do get a woman to accept the fact you're 33 and still a virgin? Is it too late for me to even try or should I just accept being the friend for the rest of my life?
I'm confident in myself and my abilities just not around women lol! One day I was picking up a prescription for my father and the pharmacist, while I was there I had my sunglasses on but took them off to sign the wavier thing and she said "Oh there's your eyes, you have beautifully kind eyes you shouldn't hide them behind your sunglasses." The scanner wasn't ringing up the prescription, so she asked for assistance and made small talk while waiting, asking how the weather was since it was raining all day, I said the sun finally came out, she asked if I knew about the forecast for the weekend and I said Friday would be perfect high in the mid 90's and sunny and she said it sounds perfect and Friday was her day off but had no plans or any place to go and she asked what I was doing on the weekend I said not much. She than said you're one of those tall and quite types aren't you, I said something funny and she laughed and she remarked about being funny, as the manager finally gave up on the scanner and rang me up on the other and left, so as I signed the waiver again, I went to slide my card in that machine and she said no handsome, the other one... we have two, to trick you! So she said I hope I see you in a month and I left to do some shopping, as I was shopping the elderly man behind me turned found me in the aisle I was in and said "You know that girl wanted you to ask her out don't you? I said no, she was just being friendly because we had to wait. He said if I were you I'd go back over there and ask her out. Which I did not because if she was just being nice, I didn't want to come off looking like a creeper by asking her out in front of people at her job no less. So that's about how confident I am when it comes to women... in myself and what I can do, I'm over confident. I can do anything that doesn't involve the free will of other people lol, I can draw, paint, excellent photographer, I can cook, I can fix a car, I can play a piano... not really much I can't do but you're right about my confidence in women... when it comes to compliments though I compliment women all the time, women I know, not random strangers but these posts have given me a little more to think about! So I thank you!
I'm confident in myself and my abilities just not around women lol! One day I was picking up a prescription for my father and the pharmacist, while I was there I had my sunglasses on but took them off to sign the wavier thing and she said "Oh there's your eyes, you have beautifully kind eyes you shouldn't hide them behind your sunglasses." The scanner wasn't ringing up the prescription, so she asked for assistance and made small talk while waiting, asking how the weather was since it was raining all day, I said the sun finally came out, she asked if I knew about the forecast for the weekend and I said Friday would be perfect high in the mid 90's and sunny and she said it sounds perfect and Friday was her day off but had no plans or any place to go and she asked what I was doing on the weekend I said not much. She than said you're one of those tall and quite types aren't you, I said something funny and she laughed and she remarked about being funny, as the manager finally gave up on the scanner and rang me up on the other and left, so as I signed the waiver again, I went to slide my card in that machine and she said no handsome, the other one... we have two, to trick you! So she said I hope I see you in a month and I left to do some shopping, as I was shopping the elderly man behind me turned found me in the aisle I was in and said "You know that girl wanted you to ask her out don't you? I said no, she was just being friendly because we had to wait. He said if I were you I'd go back over there and ask her out. Which I did not because if she was just being nice, I didn't want to come off looking like a creeper by asking her out in front of people at her job no less. So that's about how confident I am when it comes to women... in myself and what I can do, I'm over confident. I can do anything that doesn't involve the free will of other people lol, I can draw, paint, excellent photographer, I can cook, I can fix a car, I can play a piano... not really much I can't do but you're right about my confidence in women... when it comes to compliments though I compliment women all the time, women I know, not random strangers but these posts have given me a little more to think about! So I thank you!
Honestly, you sound like more of a real man than most guys I know. Confidence is key. We like guys who believe in themselves and stuff. It makes feel protected and, well, it's just sexy. You're right, we don't like random guys hitting on us. And honestly, girls that do and will just hook up with anyone aren't worth it. If a girl thinks it's pathetic or whatever that you're still a virgin, she's not worth it and is probably a slut. What Bathory said is true and is good advice. And don't feel bad. I'm 27 years old. I've only ever been with one person and was almost 24 before that even happened. I had planned it happening it earlier, even had another guy picked out. I'm glad I didn't lose it to him because he wasn't worth it and would have been a regret in the long run. Not sure if you're religious, but you could always try church. Or maybe a dating website? Honestly, I really don't know how to go about the dating world either. The worst relationships I've had were with guys that I hadn't been friends with for more than a few months, didn't even know for a year, and ended up not knowing them as well as I had thought. If I had known them longer, I wouldn't have ever dated them. I prefer to be friends first. Of course, that makes it scary because there is the risk of losing the friendship or making things weird. Don't just throw it away to anyone. Make it worth it. And a friend will be worth it. And, circling back to the church thing, well, people there should be more waiting until marriage and automatically have something in common with you and stuff like that. Chin up, you'll find someone.
i honestly think its adorable that your a virgin it says alot about you and dont feel alone like your the only one that way... cause my bf is 26 n hes a virgin and he wants to wait till hes married like he just wants to sleep with one person his whole life... but being a virgin isent bad im sure theres alot of girls that would really appreciate that maybe try to find a girl thats a virgin to its hard to find these days but then you wont feel so bad about it being a virgin is a good thing.. find someone who shares the same values i think your looking in the wrong place... but anyways just be flirty so that you dont fall in the friend zone like if you like a girl maybe try to hint that you do show your interested in her.. but say you like one of your friends just tell her or ask how she feels... but you can meet random people n talk to them maybe you see a girl you thinks pretty just strick a conversation maybe ask her if she knows a good place to eat or ask her the time just something random n start a conversation that way...n you can find someone like dont think since your a virgin you cant... like i said being a virgin is a good thing no girl wants a guy that has slept with so many girls i think you just need to be more flirty and confident
You sound very sweet. I admire you for all of this. Just so you know, sweet does not mean pathetic, you just gotta find the right girl. I liked and then fell in love with my boyfriend because he was sweet and he thought the same way as you (about the st.rip clubs and the other stuff), wouldn't have him any other way. It definitely isn't too late and you definitely arent the only virgin at your age, its more rare but there are people out there saving themselves, I happen to know quite a few of them. You don't sound like a confident individual. If you want a chance with a woman, a proper relationship, you need to be confident but not cocky. Just try top talk to some women, start up a conversation and then if you find the girl to your liking ask for her number. The worst that can happen is they say no and then you just move on. But confidence is key. Stop thinking you are pathetic or that you have no chance with women, it shows, instead go with confidence, strike up a conversation, maybe compliment her, and then see where it goes.
Yes, definitely church people. And not all church-going people are as close minded, prudish and uptight as they are generally depicted and stereotyped as. So even if you are no religious, it wouldn't be a bad idea looking for a religious girl, she may not be a virgin, but in general, will probably be able to understand you more and probably admire and be attracted to the way you think and the fact you've never been with anyone before. And there are most definitely girls who are attracted to that, two right here!
Well, you shouldn't doubt yourself. That girl was definitely flirting with you (as a girl myself) that was definitely an opportunity for you! Next time, take that opportunity. Most that will happen is a "no" and nonetheless the girl will probably feel rather flattered. Just make sure you ask a girl our respectfully that way, if she wanted to, she can tell you a simple yes or a no without being offended or feeling "creeped out"
And you don't need to be at a strip club to pick up a girl. Any bar or club or coffeeshop or anywhere you're able to strike up a conversation.
