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what is wrong with my self esteem?

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Suicide is a waist of time. It shows people your weak. Like you weren't strong enough to make it through life. God put us all on the earth because he knew that we were capable of surviving until the point of a natural death. God put us on this earth because he knew we were strong enough. But some people try to take the easy road out and commit suicide...that's like showing God that your weaker then he thought. That's also showing everyone you knew that you couldnt handle the pressure of being alive and breathing.

But then again sometimes, I actually doubt that there is a God. We all go through hard times, some harder then others. Why would he put us through that? To make us stronger? Or because he isnt really there, like hes just a figment of our imagination. There's tons of people out there dedicating their whole lives to God, and even willing to sacrifice their life for their lord. But then you have people, such as athiests, who do not believe in a God. Each life thats chosen, can be equally rough, so is there even a point which side you choose? Color shouldn't matter, religion shouldn't matter, and opinions shouldn't matter, I mean where all going to die in the end right? I mean we just might as well die together and happy in a peaceful loving place. I dont know what to think anymore, Or maybe I just think too much. Anyways, explain to me your thoughts that you always seem to think about, but never seem to share because people might think you foolish and what not. Im ready to listen. [: