I want to live with my dad, but how?

Ok, I guess it is only fair to give all of the information to help support my question and then hopefully I can find some advice. My parents have joint custody, however my mom has primary. I spend a week at a time with each one of them. The current visitation has been this way for the last 4-5 years, but my father has always been a part of my life and has had visitation rights since I was three.

Some of the reasons I feel living with my dad, step-mom, brothers, and sister are first they support me. They care if my grades start slipping, I get in trouble if I don’t turn in my homework (nothing major - maybe no texting for a day or two). They are helping me save money in my savings account for a car (which we have but it needs work) and college. They are helping me to get braces and my contacts now. They never speak badly about my mom or my family on my mom’s side, in fact they have always been very supportive of my grandparents. They spend time with me, they help me with my homework and they are very supportive with my schooling and cheerleading.

My mom is supportive too but in the wrong way. She is more of a best friend than my mom and it upsets me a lot. We live in an apartment so it is more like we are room mates. My mother loves to spend money, she loves shopping for clothes, eating out, going on expensive trips, and going to the movies. My mother is always behind on her bills, ex. the car registration was due in Sept 2008 and still isn’t paid for. The people from the car company keep calling and so I am thinking that hasn’t been paid either. I always have the fear that we will get kicked out of our apartment and have to live with my grandparents again (don’t get me wrong I love them, but my mom and them always fight). She includes me in all of her emotions and feelings towards others when she gets upset, which I have enough of my own problems to worry about. She never helps me with my homework, actually school work is not important to her, she doesn’t make me do it, and she has told me before that she will not get involved with my grades unless they are a D or F. Do you realize how hard it is to come back up to an A or B if I have a low grade like that? With my social life through my friends at school and cheer, well all of my friends think my mom is so much fun. Which she can be, however I feel like I have no social life because she moves in and becomes the hit of the party. Cheer was originally about me but now she has volunteered and now she is there 24/7 for her social life. It seems like we are never home but always on the go. I have a savings account at my mom’s house too, however it is always empty because she withdrawls the money without even asking me first. She also makes a big deal out of my items going back and forth, she will not allow any of my things from my dad’s house come to hers and she literally throws a fit about hair ties that I sometimes forget to bring home. I am not even allowed to wear the jewlery I get from my dad, and my dad and step-mom don’t care if the items go back and forth because they tell me that the items belong to me and can go where I please. Oh and if she does get a boyfriend I am always shoved aside and all of a sudden not the so-called best friend anymore. That’s another matter though, because she doesn’t have a boyfriend at this time.

As for my parents they do not get along at all. My dad and step-mom used to try to get along with my mom. However my mom causes a lot of drama and doesn’t treat them right, they are not evil or bad to her, but they don’t go out of their way to say hello anymore. My step-parents try to keep it civil for my sake and my siblings, however my mom is the one at the door ringing the doorbell fifty times and pounding on the door at the same time, and then she always tries to make a huge seen on the doorstep too. Another incident was a switch off time, my mom was supposed to drop me off at my dad’s during spring break at noon, but instead decided to take me to brunch. My Dad called wondering where I was and she told him she didn’t have transportation and he could come and get me when I was done eating. I felt so horrible because my dad had lunch plans with me and instead had to deal with my mother’s drama again :(

I love both of my parents equally, but I am looking for more stability in my life. I want to be a kid and be able to live life without having the adult worries on my shoulders, I can do this at my dad’s house, but I just can’t at my mom’s house anymore. Ok enough complaining, sorry but I just needed some venting space. Well this is why I didn’t list the details, because the list just goes on and on…

yea you shud take her to court… and plus she shud understand how you feel… your her child… and will I hope everything works out da way you want it…

Take her to court. That’s messed up that she’s living off your child support. That should be for your needs not hers. If that’s her only reasoning then, sorry to say this, but f* her. Take her to court. Good Luck, I know how it is wanting to live with your father and feeling like it’s never going to happen. I finally moved in with my dad last July. =P I hope it works out for you too.

you should do what ever you feel is right.if you want to live with your dad then live with your dad.I dont think its fair that your mum is threatning for you not to see her again and having said that you would have to go to court.I mean for goodness sake your 15 1/2 years old you shouldnt have to worry about court.mymum and dad have split up and I see them both equaly.you shoul do what you want to do.dont let your brain take over your heart.

I would say you should seek legal advise, speak to a school counsilor, they could help you