I NEED SOME GOOD INSULTS!

Did you know that when a young guy actually expends energy telling some girl wise cracks or insults …It means he actually is interested/ admires her and he is using the jokes and insults to get her attention…

If you really …realiy dislike her then ignore her

get one of your friends to say it “it smells like fish” when she is near by then look at her and tell her to close her legs.

Who knitted your face and missed a stitch? You’re so poor,I saw you kick a can down the street so I asked what you where doing and you answed moving. HERE ARE SOME INSULTES IN FRENCH: Tu te doites tellement que t’as coince ton doit dans ta chatte.(traslation:you finger yourself so much that your finger’s stuck in your p.) Casse-toi pauvre petite salope.(p off poor little scumbag) Va t’enculer,beseuse de pedes!(go and f yourself,b f*) ONE FROM NORTHERN ENGLAND: you are minty!(you are rotten,smell bad) ONE IN LATIN:

Es anus!(you’re an a*)

tell her she’s like a door knob, everyone get’s their turn…

and just tell her her pu**y is so used, anyone trying to get any friction down there would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway…

http://www.thejokeyard.com/funny_insults/index.html

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I’ll think so.

Man alive! But I wish you weren’t.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.

You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn’t like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.

We know that romance brings out the beast in you – the jackass.

I’m looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven’t had it yet.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that’s the only way they could.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in. The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes. You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it. All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account? I heard you have hair on your chest, and thats not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Sit down and give your mind a rest.

http://www.theforumsite.com/forum.php?t=29794

http://www.funadvice.com/q/insults

First thing to do is not be asking a network of unfunny people for good jokes. That just lowers you completely. It’s not hard ot burn a b’itch. Kids at school are so weak, they’ll laugh at anything and everything.

You need to learn to think on your feet… I did it the other night. The way to produce the best comeback is to not let yourself get on the defensive. If you can absorb any drivel that she throws at you and then return it, that is how to ‘insult’ someone without stepping out of reason. A girl started hitting on me last night and said something like “I know you want some of this”, to which I replied “sorry, I like my meat without the fat”. Biased, but I thought that one was awesome, lol. Just practise with friends and see how quickly and easily you can return fire to an insult and eventually it will become second nature. No one really likes someone who ‘starts’ an argument (or insults someone), they like the person who ‘ends’ it. Don’t go out of your way to insult her, just wait for her to come to you essentially. Good luck jokester :D!

ask her if shes been in the ocean lately and if she says no just say smells like it

Just say this as a rhyme poof be gone your breath smells so strong dont want to be mean but you need listerine not a sip not a swallow but the whole figgin bottle :) or Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what the hell happened to you? or maybe i told your bf that he was gay and he slapped me with his purse :D or even dont hate me becasue im beautiul…. hate me becasue your bf thinks so! or i would love to baet you up but i ahve a problem with cruelty against animals! Hope that helps!