I don't want my Dad to keep hating me

call child services or something, the dude deserves to be locked up if he hits you in such a way for such menial reasons. I believe in spanking as a form of punishment, but not so hard that it causes permanent damage, and only in the most severe cases (like if I had a 4 or 5 year old, and he/she tried to cut up another child, or something extreme)

But never on the head or anything like that, that’s not disciplining, that’s just abuse. You can’t make someone like you, you can’t make someone love you, if someone treats you badly and abuses you, call the police, and let them get what’s coming to them. Maybe while he’s locked up he’ll realize that he should treat you better. If he doesn’t, then don’t worry about it. It sucks, but there are a lot of good people out there that can offer you friendship and support. Remember, you’re not alone.

I had the same problem my dad has kicked me out of the house .. it sux but I am living wiht him agin but he often hits me and my brothers or throws stuff at us it sux

its still abuse he has hit you, nobody has that right, ever. they say its an accident, but its not they meant to harm you in some way. dont hesitate to get some help. speak out. your not alone. dont wait around for the next episode, your mum knows its wrong you know its wrong. call the police, social services anyone that can help you. get the help its there, you know its there, dont be scared take the stand, many people dont and they feel like you do. dont suffer. speak up!!!

good luck, dont wait about. from naomi.

“It is your duty to honour your parents in a Christian society,” what?! oh and what amoeba said (only a little more sensitive lol)

MY boyfriend HAS THAT PROB AND YOU HAVE TO GO TALK TO THEM IT WILL MAKE YOU FELL SO MUCH BETER I HAVE A FCED UP LIFE AND ALL TO AND THATS A GOOD THING THAT YOU HAVE SOME ONE TO TALK TO SO DO IT you HAVE TO ITS THE ONLEY WAY THINGS MIGHT GET BETTER SO LIKE YEA IF you NEED TO TALK IM HERE 4 YOU JUST MSG ME

eh.I don’t know if he is getting to hurt you more fu*ckin call stupid cops. but eh emotional things counselors but eh I don’t know only if you want

yea I would try to find away to cal lthe police and let them beaware of what is going on, UMm I went through abuse too so I know how it feels, I would start out by talking to a very I mean very close friend and maybe see if they can help you out

a mountain out of a mole hill? you cosider abuse and threats of violence a mole hill? 30% of women killed in the US are killed by their romantic partners, you want to ask those women whether they were making a mountain out of mole hill? you think any of them maybe should have called the cops? and where exactly do you get this idea of starving children? 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are a lot of single mothers in this world and they manage to provide for their kids. And I think all of them would agree they were better off with less money than an abusive husband.

Also… “To be required to be 13 years old is to be required to be a young woman in some opinions and some societies so arguably children do not exist on this site legitimately”

maybe in some societies, but not in the American one, 13 year olds are legally children, they are seen and treated as children by the law and by society. If you live in Africa or Asia or in the 1600s perhaps, but she doesnt live in either of those places or in that time…

It sounds like your Dad has low self esteem and is struggling with being a man. I don’t know what the situation but men need to be respected and appreiciated..this allows them to feel that they are providing for their family. Even though they are strong men they to need affirmation that they are doing a good job. Although he shouldn’t get physically abusive with you…he has choosen this route to take out his frustrations…nothing will get solved this way …voilence leads to more voilence. Make the choice to fight back with Love and understanding…tell him that you think he’s doing a good job and see the affect this approach has on him… What’s happening in your home now is not working, so what have you got to loose… You do have your Dad and family unit to gain.

she stated that her father hits her and had kicked her so that she fell down… not gently tugged at her hair or lovingly placed his foot on her backside to give her a gentle nudge…

and to imply that she and her mother are to blame for the abuse is a calloused response. THEY should be more respectful towards HIM and let him know that he is the man? HE should be more respectful towards them and ACT like a man!

it is NOT the job of a 16 year old physically abused young woman to make her dad feel better about himself!

this is why you must have EMPATHY.

empathy - the ability to imagine oneself in the condition or predicament of another

you should stop and really read and understand what has been asked. she has been hit, had her hair pulled, kicked hard enough to fall down. think…what if this were you? what if your dad did these things to you and when you reached out to others, they implied that it was YOUR fault, that somehow YOU weren’t doing enough to make your dad feel like a “man”.

and I must add, that of all the arguments, discussions and answers that I have read on this site, this one disturbs me the most. the use of christianity to defend this father’s behavior should have ALL CHRISTIANS on this site up in arms. I have read many answers from christians regarding abuse and NEVER have I read anything that portrays christianity in such a poor light while at the same time tries to justify the abuse and actually implies that the person being abused somehow deserves it.

I am not christian but I know many christians and NOT ONE of them supports this antiquated load of bull-cr*p that is trying to be passed off as caring advice.

shame on you who try to make it the fault of this young girl. shame on you!!!

is it WWJD or is it WWYD (what would you do)?

andyburton stated - “He’s a man and you’re a relatively weak person.”

“Try not to gang up on him between you and your mother, this society is based upon equality and fairness and there is often a culture of meaniality and limitation and discrimination that is not your fault but could be a perception of his real or imagined.”

“Treat the man with respect “

“Suggest to your mother to make him feel like the breadwinner and not just a convenient provider of a paycheck.”

“It is your duty to honour your parents in a Christian society, only use this opinion to assist you in justifying your personal circumstancial situation and seeking an acceptable outcome for your family.”

sammirae_x3 - the next time your father kicks you and you fall to the ground, stop and take the time to remember that it is YOUR job to make your father feel better about himself. just say, “dad, I love and respect you and I know that society and all those evil womens libbers have made you feel less than a man. you are the head of this family and mom and I need to remember and respect that.” and when he threatens to beat the sh*t out of you , you need to honor him, he is your father and has a christian right to beat the crap out of you because your mom makes him feel as if he is only a paycheck.

andyburton has just given some of the WORST advice on this site. he obviously has some “personal” issues in his own life and should not be addressing them here. PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE AT FAULT IN ANY WAY. YOUR FATHER IS A BULLY AND NEEDS HELP. I wish that your mother would call the police but she might not. she might be too scared to take that step. you should contact social services, a teacher, a friend’s parent, the police…anyone that can help remove you from that abusive house…

many times social services can help place you with a relative instead of in foster care… and remember, your father doesn’t hate you, he hates himself. it has NOTHING to do with you…

Call social services, talk to a counselor, etc. Nobody should have to go through that kind of abuse.