http://www.funadvice.com/my/advice/unfortunatedivorce en-us Forgot to tell you... what was the answer to my own personal drama and how did the wife and I finally work it all out? Communication. Yes we tried "swinging" once, we went to mardigras and she shared what her bra holds with all that tossed beads to her, we both fantasize about celebrities or other people that we know we will most likely never have and we both realize that regardless of what either of our desires are, that s3x only lasts as long as it lasts and that love lasts a lifetime. My wife's favorite shirt (to wear around the house) says, "Relax, it's just s3x!" We still have issues, sometimes I talk about a hot woman I noticed at the Outback Steak House a little too much and sometimes she comes to me and reminds me that she needs a little reassurance that it is her that I want and only her that I love. Anyone else that she or I want is always open for discussion between us and if the feeling is right (the opportunity surprisingly hasn't happened in the last several years) then we would let the other go off and have a night of passion and excitement without the other being present. However, for the most part we (and especially SHE) is not really interested in doing anything without me... She is interested in doing things with me and others from time to time and honestly... I could not be happier!!! Communication is the key to Love, Life and True Happiness!!! Good Luck! unfortunatedivorce Sat, 18 Aug 2007 16:11:44 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/married_and_wanting_to_have_an_affair 86725 russellplatypus had the correct answers. I am a male, honestly here researching to find all sides to the same story I have already lived, too many times. I have a great friend, his wife became a good friend of my wife, now she is cheating on him and plans to leave him, they have a 3 year old son. I am not actually married but I still refer to her as my wife, why? We were once married, she cheated on me, unfortunately she cheated on me several times. Eventually I divorced her and left. However, I am old fashioned in the since that I believe you only truly love one person and that you should only be married once in your life. We eventually ended up back together and have been for many more years. I may be insane when judged by others for going through as much as I have with my "wife". I can confirm that her cheating on me was not the worse part of it. It was the dishonesty, the questions in my mind of what I did or didn't do that caused her to run off with another man. The feeling of worthlessness. I tried to convince her that we needed to stay together for the kids, that we needed to go to a counselor or therapist. I suggested that if she just wants to have s3x, then make sure that I know about it, I suggested we take our relationship into the taboo world of swingers or even a one sided open relationship. I suggested everything and offered her the world and even offered to keep my relations only with her while accepting her "sickness" as part of what life had dealt me. We were married for 7 years, we were divorced for 6 and we have been back together now for 5 years. I can tell all the women who are reading this looking for advice that your best place to find advice is not on the internet, it is in your husband's ear. Regardless of what is going on in your life. No matter how hopeless you think it is, no matter how offended you think he will be. I can promise you with ever fiber of my existence that the odds are in your favor that your husband will react better and more than likely even have a solution for you and/or the both of you if you tell him the hardcore truth. Yes, it may start an arguement, things may fly and emotions may erupt but after the dust settles and you both look in each other's eyes and discuss your situation (be sure to let him know you are asking what to do) then you will find a solution. Do not be close minded about it. There are many options to happiness. In some instances just the very fact that you admitted your desires and you had an arguement will create just the right juice to get you both back in the sack and creating amazing "make up" magic. You may find yourself in the swinging lifestyle. You may find yourself at a nude beach once or twice a year (not cheating) just finding some excitement with your husband. There may be fantasies that you can provide your husband (everyone knows what men want and trust me ladies it isn't that bad if you try it - just ask my "wife") and god knows that men, believe it or not, will go to the ends of the world to please their woman sexually, if only the women try to do the same for the men. Sorry ladies, our biggest fault is we are creatures of habit and laziness. You will have to break the routine to get life back in the relationship. The only negative thing that could truly come from you confessing your desires to your husband is if he is truly unworthy of you and does not want to help you through your desires... in which case, dump him and move on. Passionate happy parents are much better parents than bitter unsatisfied yelling and screaming not to forget cheating parents! Good Luck! unfortunatedivorce Sat, 18 Aug 2007 16:01:08 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/married_and_wanting_to_have_an_affair 86722