http://www.funadvice.com/my/advice/say_no_2_stripping en-us Without even going into whether stripping is degrading or not, it IS weird for a young girl to have becoming a stripper as a goal! I MIGHT be able to understand falling into the job, or settling for being a stripper, but I would seriously suggest ANY girl who doesn't aspire to be anything greater than a stripper or porn artist talk to a mental health professional. If that is all someone aspires to be, they may very well have a deep seated self esteem issue. The fact is, rightly or not, society looks upon strippers as sex workers and something to be shunned. Thus if that is all you aspire to you are WAY off the norm. Now granted "normal" isn't always best, and it may be that you are just different but infact perfectly healthy. However, having such low aspirations may very well be a symptom of low self esteem, or a warped view of sexuality too. I hope becky that in the three months that have passed since you posted this, that have either talked to someone in the mental health field and made sure that you were making that life choice as a rational adult and not as a impressionable young girl or because of a mental condition. All in all, if you ignore or have ignored all the advice you've been kindly given in response to your question, I hope that if you still choose to strip, that you are at least one of the few who don't end up regretting it. -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:39:55 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/stripper 407036 KellyC and Ohhsocute, Thanks for the answers. I ended up buying a blue one and love it. The sound quality is great and the mp3 player is actually kind of useful. I find I use the mp3 player capability while on the bus to work, and save my MP3 player battery for while I'm at work. Overall I think the phone is a great buy. Thanks again! -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:27:52 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/does_anyone_have_the_verizon_samsung 407015 Editor, With all due respect; while I agree completely that twins do indeed have a special bond with their siblings and should be kept together if at all possible, your assertion that the children in questions may "spend their lives completely depressed and un-whole, because they are literally missing their other half" has absolutely NO basis in reality. The fact is, twinship is an added bonus to someone's life, but being without their twin does not make them any less of a whole person. I would further argue that your answer is a perfect illustration of the difference between individuals who are pro-life and people like you who are not only pro-choice, but evidently pro-abortion, in that we see EVERY life as an opportunity while you consider some of them to be only burdens. Now, to answer mommi_at_14's question: I think that to split up twins and break the special bond that they undeniably have for mere monetary concerns is both selfish and misguided. For while children can be expensive, one can make sacrifices in their own life to feed and clothe their children. And as far as material things go; Our society puts too much emphasis on those items. Our children don't need the latest, video games, clothes and Hannah Montanah gear to be happy. All they really need is a loving, caring and supporting family. I would talk to your sister about it. It's possible that there are other concerns she has and she is simply using the money issue as an excuse. Or if she is truly doing it only out of concern for money, you may be able to convince her to keep the twins together as the benefits way outweigh the negatives. Either way, it is ultimately her choice, and I at least commend her on choosing to give life to the children and the opportunities that come with it. Best regards, -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:28:36 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/twins_60844 327817 I wrote an answer to this before I saw that it was asked over 3 years ago. But I'll post it anyways in case someone else comes along looking for the same info. So, with that said, Zach, You can either register online, or you can go to a nearby Target store and use their kiosk there to input your information. Once you do that, you can add items to your registry through the website or by scanning items that you like at the store with a handheld scanner. My S.O. and I did it recently and it was really easy. We actually preregistered at Target.com and then went to the store to scan things. If you'd like to do that as well, simply go to www.target.com and then click on the "Target Baby Registry" under gifting. (You'll find the link almost all the way down at the bottom on the right hand side of the Target.com homepage) Hope that helps, and btw: congratulations!! :D -SN2S P.S. Scanning items at the store is a ton of fun I would definitely recommend it over simply adding items through the website, :) say_no_2_stripping Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:02:19 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/how_do_i_register_for_my_baby_shower_24408 327809 Just be yourself and be open and honest. Try not to go into it with too many expectations, but at the same time, feel free to express any expectations or feelings that you do have. However it goes, take it for what it is, and be happy for the experience. You and mother may end up having, or making, a wonderful connection that will last the rest of your life. It is also possible that you may simply just not like her. Both are OK. Also know that is absolutely normal and ok to be nervous and apprehensive, I would be and I'm sure she probably is too. Without knowing your specific circumstances, it's hard to give you specific advice for this situation, but I firmly believe that being true to yourself, being open and honest and being willing to express yourself emotionally will always serve you best. I wish you the very best of luck, -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:51:26 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_should_i_do_226528 327803 Miss xalaskax's assertion that unless one has stripped, then they aren't "really in a position to judge." is quite simply illogical and idiotic. It's also extremely hypocritical in that she passes judgment on girls who do extras or prostitute themselves, but I assume she has done neither. The FACT is, whether xalaskax wants to admit it or not, as I stated earlier stripping is a form of prostitution, in that the definition of prostitution is "preforming a sexual act for compensation". Is it as bad as giving oral sex or sexual intercourse for money? Of course not. Is it still a female doing something sexual for a male for a fee. Absolutely. The thing is, I've been in the business. I know girls who still are in the business, and I know others who thank god they got out. From my point of view and my morality, the business is seedy and demeaning. It strips away a women's worth, and makes her only value be of a sexual nature. Brains, intellect, empathy, and kindness have NO value in that world. The only thing of value is your body and your sexuality. That is why almost every girl who has ever danced has been either sexually assaulted (customers grabbing their breasts, butts or genitals), verbally assaulted (called a wh*re etc...) or sexually harassed (asked to engage in more explicit sexual acts). It is unfortunate but understandable. For how can we expect men to respect us as women, when we offer ourselves up as mere objects for their sexual entertainment? I got into stripping thinking that it was just a matter of being naked in front of strangers and that while that may not have been a good thing, the money more than made up for the bad aspects of that. However, I quickly found out that in order to make money, I didn't have to just dance naked, I had to at the very least pretend to be sexual onstage and in the private dance rooms. Even then I didn't realize what it was I was doing as everyone around me did the same thing or worse. I never gave extras and didn't allow my customers to touch me, but I know many girls who did/do and who would have never thought that it was ok when they first started dancing. My life changed, and as it did I began to realize that I was worth SO much more. My nakedness and sexuality is now something someone can only buy with true love. Money just isn't worth enough... If other girls want to sell themselves for grungy, single dollar bills, then so be it, but don't tell us we don't have the right to judge you for it. Your morality may be different than mine but that doesn't make mine any less valid. say_no_2_stripping Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:55:01 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/whats_so_bad_about_stripping 318250 The password is "Bucket". say_no_2_stripping Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:21:28 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/club_xille 318233 There are these things that you can buy called "Soft Paws" that will keep your cat from scratching you. The "Soft Paws" are a soft plastic cover that your apply to your cats nails. They are approximately 20 bucks. They last about 6 months and they come in all kinds of colors. We got a similar product for one of our cats a couple of years ago because while he was a love, he simply played too vigorously and even with clipped claws he would still get you pretty good now and then. They worked beautifully and as a bonus it was pretty hilarious to see this big black tom cat with colored nails. :D You can find them at www.softpaws.com Good luck! P.S. I totally like the pink ones. :) say_no_2_stripping Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:08:27 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/cat_scratches_people_think_i_m_cutting 318231 babygurl108, I see you are in NY state, so... to get a state issued photo ID in NY you need 6 "points" worth of documentation that prove who you are. You can check out the following link to find out what documents are acceptable and how many "points" each of them are worth, although people usually use just their birth certificate and social security card (those together are worth 6 "points"). http://www.nysdmv.com/idlicense.htm#idpoints In order to get your birth certificate, you'll need to contact the county clerk or Registar/Recorder for the county you were born in. They'll tell you what info you need to get a copy of your BC but it's usually your birth date, your Mother and Father's names, and a nominal fee. As for your Social Security card; for that, once you have your birth certificate, you'll have to go to your local social security office OR send in an application and again pay a nominal fee You can find out all about getting a social security card here: http://www.ssa.gov/ Hope that helps, -SM2S say_no_2_stripping Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:37:25 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/help_me_448 293109 First off hon, you need to know that there is NOTHING childish about having nightmares. People have them all the time, including adults. In fact, when I was little the father of a friend of mine used to wake up literally screaming in the middle of the night, because he was having nightmares of his time in Vietnam. It scared the heck out of me the first time I slept over at her house but once she explained it to me I understood and no longer feared it. So, let's get that out of the way first... Just like what happened to you, the nightmares are NOT your fault. Now as to why you are having them now; it could be something as simple as current stresses in your life bringing old fears to the surface. You may not even be consciously aware of it, but if you are stressed about something in your life, such as school, friends etc.. your brain my be trying to relieve that stress through the emotional outlet of your dreams. If this is the case, you may be able to alleviate the nightmares, by thinking about and acting to remove those current stresses from your life. A psychotherapist or psychologist should be able to help you with this. Another strong possibility is that you are suffering from PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that sometimes occurs in people who have gone through a particularly emotionally traumatic event or series of events, and being sexually abused would definitely qualify as an emotionally traumatic event. You can read more about PTSD here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder and PTSD as it pertains to childhood sexual abuse here: http://www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/articles/behavior/ptsd_4/ There are a number of successful treatment modalities for women and girls who suffer from PTSD caused by childhood sexual abuse, so there IS help available out there. No matter what, I would suggest speaking with a trusted adult in order to have them help you find help.** (If you unfortunately don't have an adult in your life who you feel you can trust with this, please have the strength to look for help on your own. There are an awful lot of girls and women who have gone through this as well, and will offer you all the help and support they can. You just need to reach out to them) A good place to start looking for help would be here: http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?subjID=83&rate_chno=11-11214 Whether you actually suffer from PTSD or not, being the victim of sexual abuse can leave life long scars that can affect you well into adulthood. You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and by seeking help you will be exerting your power over the trauma rather than it having power of you. ** I wish you the absolute best of luck. -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:41:08 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/im_scared_581 287470 My school split the guys and girls into separate groups in 5th grade and then showed each group a different movie about puberty. The movie we saw was 90-95% about the changes that girls' bodies would be going through, and just touched briefly on what happened to boys. Although I just remember being horrified about menstruation and boys getting erections. Ewww! >lol Although I will say this, if anything it taught me that I need to talk to my daughter about this stuff BEFORE she has to learn about it in school. Lord knows the school movies are always horribly done, and look like they're from the 70s. I think the movies are more traumatizing than the changes themselves. :) Besides, shouldn't it be the parents talking to their kids about this stuff and not the schools? say_no_2_stripping Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:57:44 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/a_general_question 287457 butterfly dreams, Do you have a link to her blog? I'd love to read it. I don't agree with Jon McCain on a lot of things, but I'm starting to lean towards him for President, and I'd really like to find out more about his family and the kind of relationship they have. I think you can tell a lot about people by their relationships with their family and friends and unfortunately we don't get to see that side of politicians to often. say_no_2_stripping Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:32:30 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_you_think_4708 284245 It really depends on your personal athletic ability. It could take a couple of months to become proficient and get some basic tricks down, to a year or more. Just don't give up too easily and keep at it and it will come. Some people never learn to do really big ollies, but with practice your should easily be able to ollie onto and off of curbs and the like before too long. Good Luck! say_no_2_stripping Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:04:44 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/how_long_it_takes_to_become_a_good 283695 I looked at one in the store, and while I was surprised with its lightness, I didn't think it looked cheaply made. Plus, Samsung seems to be a pretty good company. I was basically concerned with the unique switchblade style of opening and wondered if it held up over time. But thanks for your opinion durp. say_no_2_stripping Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:56:34 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/does_anyone_have_the_verizon_samsung 283686 Passiongoddess, Yes, you are indeed a pretty girl. You've got really strong, passionate eyes and a great smile. But having said that, it saddens me to see so many girls like you whose confidence and self worth is evidently tied to their self perceived "prettyness". Society in general, and American society in particular, seems to tell girls that their only value is as physical objects to be lusted after by the opposite sex. The media harps on the sexuality of women like Angelina Jolie, yet ignore her humanitarian work with the UN. Day after day we here about the lives of pop idols, porn stars and models, but the true role models like astronauts Col. Eileen Collins, Kalpana Chawla and Sunita Lyn Williams, are ignored. When was the last time you read an article about, or even heard of, Geraldine Laybourne, Bhairavi Desai, Anita Borg, or Grace Hopper? My point is, that a girl or woman's value to herself and others should have NOTHING to do with her physical attractiveness. It what is inside our hearts and heads that make us unique and it is those qualities that should determine our value to the lives and loves of others. Beauty is fleeting girls. We all get older, things sag, lines form. Heck we could be disfigured in a horrific accident, but if we're beautiful, strong women on the inside then our aged or injured exteriors won't matter. We need to start spending more time on developing our minds and intellects and less on developing our bust lines and booties. -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:56:45 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/confident_boost_help_me 282557 I think Lex nailed it! :) I had no idea as to what it could be either but as soon as I read his post I was sure that was it. Good call! :) say_no_2_stripping Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:13:38 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_shape_is_this 282510 I agree with ALL of the above posters, the very FIRST thing to do is tell an adult. That adult will preferably go to the police and file a restraining order against the person that is stalking your friend. Whatever you do, DO NOT ignore it, or play it off like it's no big deal. If she is seriously being stalked, it is potentially a VERY dangerous situation. Stalkers are usually mentally disturbed and their stalking behavior very often escalates into an actual physical attack. Thus, I hate to say it, but your friend may be at risk of being beaten, raped or murdered. Stalking should NEVER be taken lightly as the risks are just way too high. Too many girls have ended up seriously injured or dead because they thought that the guy was just a little weird but not a real threat. Don't allow your friend to make that mistake. A life is NEVER worth that gamble. -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:16:22 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/stalked 281703 Filetofspam, I was going to mail you these links, but thought that since we were having this friendly debate in public, I'd add them here so others could read them as well and make up their own minds. The first article I referred to on ocean temps can be found here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=88520025 You'll notice that the article itself doesn't say specifically that the new data negates GW, but rather that it may just be a misunderstanding on the dynamics of the system by climatologists. However, taken from my view, I think it adds to the argument that the GW models are not correct. The second article can be found here: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23411799-7583,00.html and is a summary of an Australian Broadcasting Company radio interview of "biologist and senior fellow of ... the Institute of Public Affairs", Jennifer Marohasy. In the second article Ms. or Mrs. Marohasy talks about the cooling or plateauing of global mean temperatures since 1998 and 2002 respectively and new data that has come from the NASA aqua satellite and how that new real world data doesn't match the GW models. I found both to be fairly interesting reads, and I'm sure that regardless of your opinion on the veracity of GW you'll find the information contained in them to be food for thought. Best regards, -SN2S say_no_2_stripping Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:08:36 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_you_think_about_global_warming 281687 UPDATE: After writing my last post, I called my friend to see if he had any input, and he told me he no longer recommends Wrecking Balm. Evidently our one mutual friend who it seemed to work on, was one of the ONLY people who he knows who have tried it and got ANY results! He said from talking with other people in the biz that he's heard the same about the other topical tattoo fading products, and suggests staying away from all of them. D told me that much like I said in my previous post, he thinks the only reason the wrecking balm worked that one time that he knows of was the tat our friend faded was a homemade india ink tat done back in high school and that because it wasn't put in deep, that the wrecking balm may have affected it differently than a professional tat. He suggested you either try the saline method (although he admitted he hasn't had any personal experience with it either) or a cover up if you can't afford the laser removal or IPL therapy. Sorry for the erroneous info earlier, but I hope the clarification helps. say_no_2_stripping Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:18:16 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/tattoo_emergency 280843 I'm VERY good friends with a tattoo artist, and he ONLY recommends Wrecking Balm but I've personally only seen one person use it and while it didn't remove it completely it did fade it quite a bit. I've also heard from other people that it didn't work at all for them. I'd personally suggest at least trying a topical fading balm or cream first, but be aware that its effectiveness usually depends on the ink that was used and the how deeply that ink was laid. You could also try having a tattoo artist tattoo the area with saline. I haven't had any personal experience with this method or known anybody who has, but I have heard that it can fade or lighten older tats. If those don't work and you really really want the tat gone, you'll just have to buck up and save your money for laser removal (painful) or Intense Pulsed Light therapy (usually very expensive). Or if worse comes to worse, just have it covered up with something that you actually like. I've seen some amazing coverups in my days; dark tats that you'd think could never be covered have been turned into amazing pieces of art. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and hope that maybe someone else will think twice about getting a spur of the moment tat after reading your story. say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:53:07 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/tattoo_emergency 280830 Blahb*tch_xd, The person who told you that, probably confused a sonogram for an epidural, as there has been some concern that the needle used to give the epidural could pick up bacteria or ink when passing through a lower lumbar back tattoo (aka: a tramp stamp) and thus introduce that bacteria or ink into the spinal column. However, there is NO evidence to support these concerns, and MOST anesthesiologists will have no problems giving an epidural to a woman with a lower back tattoo. Woman should be aware though that this is a VERY common misconception and there HAVE been cases of an anesthesiologist erring on the "safe" side and refusing to administer the epidural. Thus any woman with a lower lumbar tattoo who is preparing to give birth should discuss this with their doctor beforehand to avoid any problems or misunderstandings on the day of delivery. Hope this helps... Oh and BTW: If you, or anyone else who reads this, are going to have a sonogram, you should really check out the 3D/4D sonogram technology. It is truly amazing and can allow you to actually clearly see the face of your baby while still in the womb. A quick google image search for 3d/4d sonogram will show you the breathtaking images that can be obtained by it. It's absolutely fantastic! Enjoy. :) say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:35:07 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/ultrasound_question 280818 Well without knowing how much you know already, I would be kind of hard to suggest tricks to learn, so, I'll just assume that you don't know anything and build up from there. Obviously your going to need to learn the basics of riding, controlling and stopping on a Sk8board. You can read about some of the basics here: http://skateboard.about.com/od/tricktips/ss/JustStartingOut.htm One you've got that down, the first trick you need to learn is the ollie. Most of your flatland (street) tricks are going to build off of a simple ollie or an ollie done by pressing down on the nose of the board called a nollie. You read all about the basics of an ollie here: http://skateboard.about.com/od/tricktips/ss/HowToOllie.htm and learn how to do one from Tony Hawk himself here: http://skateboard.about.com/od/tricktips/ss/HowToOllie.htm Next would be the nollie. Again, you can read about it here: http://www.wikihow.com/Nollie and watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5Nb3Cptnj8 After that, you can start to add kickflips, turns, grabs, and slides to your ollies and nollie to learn more advanced tricks. If you master these basics or already know them, try searching Google or You tube for "How to" + kickflip or some other trick to quickly access tips and guides to those tricks. Good Luck and always remember to at least wear a helmet. The pros do and not wearing one can really mess up your head if you slam hard. Peace... say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:58:30 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/do_you_sk8board 280048 HECK YEAH!!! :) Slash is an incredibly talented guitarist as evidenced by the number of recording artists that have asked him to make a guest appearance on their albums; artists and bands like: Ray Charles, Michael Jackson Rod Stewart Cheap Trick Gilby Clarke Bob Dylan Iggy Pop Alice Cooper Lenny Kravitz Eazy-E Motorhead and more... If that isn't enough to like Slash, there's always the best reason... he turned down an offer to play on a Puff Diddy track... >LOL!!! :) Slash rules! AXL? Not so much. He might've been cool in GnR's original days, but he's had either too much botox or a really bad face lift and looks like a tool now. say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:34:10 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/do_you_like_slash_or_axl_rose 280001 Actually, my reply did NOT confuse weather and climate at all. I ONLY used the snowfall in Montreal as an example of the general cooler temperatures that the WORLD experienced over the winter months this year. Although I can see how you would think that from the way I wrote my post. I would note though, that weather IS a part of climate models, and none *that I am aware of* :) have predicted colder temps and more snowfall. They HAVE predicted stronger and more severe weather systems such as hurricanes though, but those are noticeably absent from real world conditions. As for the references, there were two specific articles that I recall reading recently, one of which dealt specifically with the ocean temperature data and how it was surprising and confusing to the GW modelers as it did not show what they expected it too. I unfortunately did not bookmark either of those articles though and don't have the time to find them right now. However I do promise that I will find them and either post them here or message you with them. Again as a side note, I will say I am not an expert on GW, but like you I try to keep up on most of the relevant data. I will also admit that I am slightly biased as I said in my original reply; I have my doubts of whether or not GW is actually C02 based. With that said, the GW advocates my very well be right, but my personal interpretation of the data is that IF GW IS C02 based, then at the very least it is not as dire as most of the warnings claim. As always, these are just my opinions and other users may choose to accept them or ignore them as they see fit. say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:20:08 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_you_think_about_global_warming 279979 It's funny you ask, because in the last couple of weeks, a lot of new data has come out to show that the real world is NOT warming like the GW models have said it would. Sea levels have risen slightly, but their temperature has not, but ALL of the GW models said that they should have warmed. The mean temperature of the earth has actually not warmed up in the last 10 years and has in fact rather plateaued at around 1998 levels. Further, this winter was one of the coldest and had the most snow in years. None of this was predicted by global warming advocates. Since C02 levels have steadily increased during last ten years years, but global temperatures have not, one has to wonder why if there is a direct correlation between C02 and global temperatures hasn't it shown up in the data of recent years. I've always thought that EVEN if global warming was true, and I have my doubts, that the environment is too dynamic of a system to warm like the gloom and doom environmentalists claim. The new data seems to support that hypothesis. ie: As the atmosphere warms up, whether from greenhouse gas emissions or sunspot activity, more clouds are formed and they in turn block out some of the suns warmth cooling the earth. I'd be very surprised if in the future, global warming is still considered the dire problem that it is today. Just my humble opinion... say_no_2_stripping Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:10:19 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_you_think_about_global_warming 278728