http://www.funadvice.com/my/advice/naomir en-us It's time to take control and end the relationship. Any man who can leave you scared is not a man you should be in a relationship with. Talk to a close friend or relative if you need help moving out of a shared home etc and make sure you have somewhere safe to stay afterwards. If you are asking him to leave a shared home I would suggest you have a male friend or relative present. Don't lose your temper, or for that matter your nerve, and tell him that you see no future for the relationship and that it is time you both moved on. If he ever gets angry or shows any sign of physical violence against you, phone the police immediately. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 11:01:07 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/my_boyfriend_scaires_me_shitless 57130 If you're not serious about the answer to this question why did you bother to ask it in the first place? naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:56:17 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/im_curious_141752 57129 Hormonal changes in early pregnancy can bring about many changes. Tender or swollen breasts are indeed one of these changes. Have a chat with your doctor/midwife/OBGYN (depending on world location etc) if you have any concerns. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:54:54 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/breast 57128 Older dogs are still trainable but if you don't have the knowledge or experience it may be worth looking at a local dog-trainer or obedience school. If you do mean "tame" however, you need to look at what the issue is, if the dog is wild, or ferral, they will be much harder to domesticate and if they are indeed vicious they are unlikely to ever be domesticated enough to be safe in a family envrionment. Any concerns should be discussed with your vetinarian and they will be able to provide you with local information on trainers or schools naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:33:42 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/taming_a_dog 57124 If your parents don't think they are in the right financial place to own a dog maybe they're right on this occasion. Dogs require a lot of care, attention and finanical responsibility, if they can't afford and you can't either its not fair on the animal. Sometimes certain things are best left until you are in a more suitable position. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:30:37 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/i_want_a_puppy_p 57120 I agree with Claire87, you need to show that you're responsible enough to be a dog-owner and prove to them that if they get you a dog that you will look after it yourself and not lose interest and expect mum and dad to pick up the slack. Think long and hard about this, dogs need a lot of care and attention as well as love. You need to make sure you have time to care for them as best they deserve. You also might want to consider the fact that puppies, albeit cute and cuddly, need housetraining, obedience training and a lot of care - not to mention the fact that they will grow into large dogs. If you are set at going ahead with getting a dog and your parents allow it maybe consider getting an older dog that is more suited to a family environment. There is a lot of time and effort involved in training a puppy and you may not be able to spare it. There is also the financial side of it - will your parents have to pick up the bill for feeding and vets bills, because neither are inexpensive! Also consider things like time restraints, if you are at school all day and your parents both work is it fair to take on a dog that will spend long days alone? If one or both of your parents are home during the day you need to make sure that they are willing to care for your pet when you're not around - this is probably one of the main reasons they're not happy about the idea. A dog is a long-term commitment and you have to be willing to set aside the next 14 years or so to being this animals "parent", will your future allow that? naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:26:21 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/i_really_want_a_puppy 57118 I don't know if "drastic" would be the right word - although moving to the other side of the world to get away from your ex could be considered drastic lol :-) - I think its just something you have to think long and hard about. A move like that is a lot to deal with and having to deal with the stress of doing it on top of getting over this problem in your life may be a bit much to ask of yourself. I think that whilst you take a bit of time to look after yourself, you'll be better prepared to make such a life-changing decision. Maybe book yourself a bit of a holiday, if time and funds will permit and spend a few weeks out there in an area you would like to live, get a really good feel for the place as an "average person" rather than a backpacker or traveller etc. No matter what you decide, just make sure you follow what feels best for you. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want and I think you're right to ask friends to stop passing messages from your ex. If people don't want to listen, be firm, tell them you will be forced to break your friendship with them if they won't repsect your wishes. HTH. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 10:17:13 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/thanks_3892 57113 Fantasising is a normal part of sexual awakening. If you feel that you could never put into practice the things you have fantasised about then I doubt very much that you are bi-sexual. There are many women who fantasise about being with another woman who would never consider doing it in real life. All your mind is doing is exploring its sexual self in a safe and natural way. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 09:49:49 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/am_i_bisexual 57104 Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Secondly, in my personal opinion I would suggest that you have a chat with your family doctor and ask them to put you forward for a referral for some form of talking therapy. I think you would really benefit from being able to work through this with a professional so that you can let go of the hurt and pain of the situation and be able to forge forwards with a new relationship. Thirdly, I think, with regards to this latest relationship that it may be a good idea to wait a while. Give yourself time to heal from past hurt before you plough head first into another relationship. Take some time to be on your own, there is no pressure when you're single and you can take the time to learn about yourself, what you want, who you want and why. Talk to your new partner, if they care for you as much as they say they do they'll be happy to wait. Explain to them that you just need a little bit of you-time. Believe me, you'll be better prepared for love and a relationship if you give yourself some time to heal. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 09:44:10 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/cheating_ex 57103 Have you maybe considered taking a short break together? Consider a weekend away, somewhere secluded. Maybe being on some neutral territory may allow him to relax a little further. Be patient with him, he obviously has troubles that run very deep. Don't start a conversation by jumping straight in or begin defensive/aggressive, but keep it light and just slowly ease into it. Ask him what he wants from you, what he finds stimulating from watching movies or using chat lines and how you can be a part of that. Maybe some role-playing may work - as he seems to enjoy phone-sex maybe you could bring that into play. Have a chat with your family doctor as well, ask them if they can recommend any material that will help you to let him help himself and finally agree to see someone. Talking therapy would be very productive for him in my opinion. Given his trust issues you need to make sure that he is fully aware that you are there for him no matter what, that you're not about to disappear off into the sunset with another man or look elsewhere for what he is not providing. Let him know that you love him and want to understand how to please him. Finally, the fact that he is masturbating over movies or chat line conversations isn't any slur on you, its just a form of release and no different to you seeking pleasure on your own. Slowly try and introduce yourself into the equation, show him just how much you want to be a part of it and let him realise how much fun he could have sharing his time between you as well as watching movies and chatting on phone lines. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 09:38:11 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/sexless_for_2_yrs_why 57100 Can I ask how old you both are? If you're in a relationship where you're arguing daily after such a short space of time I think its time for you both to evaluate exactly how suited you are to each other. Anyone who shouts at you when you're crying isn't worth being in your life. When you're upset, no matter what the cause a partner should be there to support you, hold your hand if that's what you need or just give you a hug. Shouting at you is not acceptable. I think, from the way you talk, that you also might benefit in some confidence therapy. Learning a little more about yourself may help you to understand what's going wrong in the relationship. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being single, if anything it just allows you to be free for the "right" relationship when it comes along. naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 09:28:47 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/confused_57 57096 First of all make sure you're alone and comfortable. Strip naked and go take a shower, explore your body, touch yourself to see what you like and where. If you want to let your mind wander and fantasise, go ahead. Watch how your body changes as you touch yourself - I'm not talking about going straight for the jackpot, explore your WHOLE body! When you're done in the shower go get comfortable somewhere with a hand mirror and look at yourself, all over and when you're ready, look at your genitals. Explore yourself and watch how you respond, go with the flow, don't do things that don't feel good and do the things that do. Don't set a deadline or start it with the sole intention of orgasming, it might not happen but if it doesn't so what...it will one day! You've got to learn what works for you, what stimulates your body AND mind. And once you've worked that out you'll be able to pleasure yourself without fear or confusion and better still you'll be able to teach your partner how as well! And as for Cuatis...masturbation isn't wrong or gross and is a perfectly normal, natural expression of oneself. I suggest you learn a bit about your body as well, you can't expect any partner to ever know how to please you sexually, if you don't know yourself now can you! naomir Fri, 18 May 2007 09:23:21 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/fingering_1181 57093