http://www.funadvice.com/my/advice/mel05 en-us Your situation sounds all too familiar. Although some of the details are different, i've been in the same boat as you and i made it just fine. The most important thing to realize here, and this is going to sound really preachy and corny, but this is your life, and life is short. Why waste any more time on a guy that doesn't treat you the way you want. Dont try to convince yourself the way i used to do that he is the perfect guy because you want him to be. Of course it's much easier to stay in the relationship because you're emotionally attached to him, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship where you have to question stuff like where he's been or what he's been doing? All that drama wears you down, and eventually it's going to get to a point where it just isn't worth it anymore. How to cope? Cry your eyes out. Let yourself mourn the loss. And then be incredibly happy that you can find somebody who makes you cry tears of happiness, and not tears of frustration or sadness. Hope this helps.. Mel mel05 Sat, 25 Dec 2004 23:38:45 -0800 http://www.funadvice.com/q/my_boyfriend_of_2years_is_giving 1389 Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. I broke up with the first man that I ever loved and I still question to this day whether I made the right decision or not.. But then here's what you need to realize.. you're not getting over him because you can't except that it's over. You keep hoping that you're going to get back together, or that he'll profess his love to you again one day. I've been there. It makes it harder because I'm sure you constantly compare your new boyfriend to the old one and he never quite meets the mark. What you need to accept is that if he really was the one,, then it would have happened. If you broke up with him, then you had a reason. And even if your reason was stupid, he would have made you take him back. And if he broke up with you, then he wasn't in the same place as you and it wasn't right. Plus realistically, it's impossible to love only one person that way. Love is in your mind, and you can fall in love with anybody if you've open for it. You need to cry your eyes out over this guy, realize that he wasn't the one, and let yourself love somebody else. I hope this helps. mel05 Sat, 25 Dec 2004 23:30:47 -0800 http://www.funadvice.com/q/help_me_get_over_my_ex 1388 Liz, The problem is that you aren't seeing him clearly. When you remember your relationship, you are only thinking about all the good things. That's perfectly natural since you were in love with him, but you also need to realize that your mind is more powerful than you think and that it is making you believe something that may not be true. The hardest thing is trying to take a step back.. and look at the situation as if it wasn't you. Read what you just said.. and if you read your own words would you really tell this girl that he's a guy worth wasting any more time over? i doubt it. I'm sure what you had with him is special, but it seems really unlikely that out of all the people in this world, he is the only one you can love? That seems ridiculous. My advice? Cry your eyes out.. mourn the loss of a guy, and be happy that all that drama and crap is over and you can move on with your life. He's actually doing you a favor by showing you what a jerk he really is. Mel mel05 Sat, 25 Dec 2004 23:20:46 -0800 http://www.funadvice.com/q/sigh_i_dont_know_what_to_do 1387 Liz, The problem is that you aren't seeing him clearly. When you remember your relationship, you are only thinking about all the good things. That's perfectly natural since you were in love with him, but you also need to realize that your mind is more powerful than you think and that it is making you believe something that may not be true. The hardest thing is trying to take a step back.. and look at the situation as if it wasn't you. Read what you just said.. and if you read your own words would you really tell this girl that he's a guy worth wasting any more time over? i doubt it. I'm sure what you had with him is special, but it seems really unlikely that out of all the people in this world, he is the only one you can love? That seems ridiculous. My advice? Cry your eyes out.. mourn the loss of a guy, and be happy that all that drama and crap is over and you can move on with your life. He's actually doing you a favor by showing you what a jerk he really is. Mel mel05 Sat, 25 Dec 2004 23:19:56 -0800 http://www.funadvice.com/q/sigh_i_dont_know_what_to_do 1386