http://www.funadvice.com/my/advice/familycoach Early 40s, author of book entitled "Breaking the chains of life". As a child I have lived through physical, mental. and verbal abuse from a hard nose baptist preacher father. Because of it, I have learned how to figure out so many areas that can crush a persons happiness. Through my experiences I show people how to never be manipulated, the power of giving, embracing the fear of faliure, how looking for approval places your emotional state in the hands of others, etc.... I believe I can help anyone (that wants to be helped) through problems that arise within relationships and also help people put an end to relationships with abusive people. I believe we are here to be happy..live happy without guilt, and finding and fulfilling our purpose in life. Over the past 5 or 6 years I developed alot of questions in the area of prescribing drugs to alter a childs behavior. I kept hearing how so many children (mostly boys) have a physical disorder in the brain, and how treating it physically with medication fixes the disease. The problem was how I could not find one specialist/doctor including Harvard professors that research the physical brain and how the brain works etc....could show me the difference between a physical brain that was in need of medication and a physical brain that was normal. Yet I kept hearing how these little individuals have a physical disease in the brain, but nobody could show me the physical abnomality that needed to be treated. This led me to produce the documentary film entitled "Parenting with Pills" which uncovers the behavior drug issue in children (mostly boys). en-us Anti-prep, First off..It is not your responsibility to make sure your parents love eachother and get along and are happy. Remember...They made the choice to bring you in to this world..They should be the ones trying to make your life happy..helping you as parents would, like school work..or planning a fun vacation etc...Especially at your age, you should not have the sort of stress in your life that you are currently struggling with. The big question is what to do?? From now on I want you to understand that your parents problems are totally out of your control..This is why you have the stress, because you can't control the situation and of course you want to say a few words to them and have it be all better. If you can understand that this thing is out of your control this (I believe) will help you. Try and find good friends and spend time at their house..hang out with them..Make up in your mind today that you are going to start enjoying your life..You could sit both of your parents down and explain to them how you love them both the same etc..or you could say it in a letter..sometimes this is more effective. But let them know YOU are moving on with you life. There are also many many learning experiences here for you..You are learning how NOT to live and act with your spouse..You are learning how NOT to raise your child etc.. The great thing about your problem is that you have the ability to change it for you..not for anyone else..Of course we want your parents to be happy and maybe they will..however this is not your responsibility.. From today on your responsibility is you...You make choices that make you happy first and then those around you..This (by the way) is not being selfish it is simply taking care of you..which is the most important thing...Start enjoing and have fun!! If you want to funmail me go ahead. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:38:41 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/help_what_do_i_do_57344 412450 jjjhehepoo. OK..when you are watching some TV get 2 chairs. Place them about 2 to 3 feet apart. Sit in between the 2 chairs on the floor so your feet and legs are straight out. Get in position so you are holding yourself up with your hands and arms using the 2 chairs..Slowly lower yourself down about 8 to 10 inches..Then push yourself straight up. That is one rep...Try and do 8 to 10 reps...( this is one set) Rest maybe a minute or 2 then repeat a set..Try and do 10 to 12 sets each day then after that gets easy funmail me for some other workouts. familycoach Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:38:03 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/how_to_get_my_arm_thinner 366550 Brit, You are fine..Try and look in to some kind of endurance/cardio training. You are not that tall so you want to make sure you stay strong and fit as you get older..OK? You are not fat...To answer your question. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:21:52 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/too_fat_97978 366542 IM, Nothing you can do..It's just our natural body healing itself...But..still do your dance,workouts etc..and what will happen is you will work through the soreness.. Take more time to warm up and you should be fine, once your muscles get going..it may take a good 15 minutes or so of warm up but start very slow and you will see it will be OK. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 11 May 2008 17:23:38 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/get_un_sore 346125 Emo, Just call b.f. and ask and tell him your concern. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 11 May 2008 06:07:39 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/was_he_using_me 344221 Dear Fau, That is a sign of the after affects of marijuana use. The THC from marijuana is fat soluble..which means it stays in the fat tissues of the body. The brain (physically) is just fatty tissues..a womens reproductive parts are fatty tissues..The THC goes to these areas weeks even months after use. One huge (noticeable) symptom is memory loss. Do you smoke or have you smoked marijuana in the past 30 to 60 days? Familycoach familycoach Sun, 11 May 2008 06:05:17 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_is_ths 344217 Ring, No I have heard so much about it, but let me know if it's any fun. Familycoach familycoach Mon, 05 May 2008 05:41:14 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/kennywood 335924 Anna, Don't get caught up in how other people act.. You can't control them no matter how you are related. They are trying to control you to be how they want you to be. To answer your question...Adults, as we get older unfortunately get to concerned as to what people think. So they slowly conform to other people and what they think about them. They really worry about acting propper and acting the way people around them think they should act..They strive to be looked at as an acceptable adult. This way of living really ruins a lot of fun times. It really is our true nature to be a funloving kid (at every age) and like to do all the fun things, like kickball or backyard football, or foursquare, etc...Playing this with your kids..not getting up tight about acting prim and propper is a great start to living happy. a lot of parents are like yours..don't worry about it...You just learn from it and be fun with your kids...See...Your parents just showed you a key point for happiness when you raise your kids. Familycoach familycoach Mon, 05 May 2008 05:36:14 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/are_there_any_adults_who_like_laughing 335920 Super, Don't worry about the truck for now...Try and find someone to take you to work...Now when you get to work be the best worker..go the extra mile..do other peoples work if you have to..and never complain. You will make yourself very valuable to the boss and you will make some money. When you get about 300.00 saved up start looking for cars for sale for around 700.00 to 1000.00 take your 300.00 or so to these people and offer them cash on the spot. This gives you the ability to have something the seller may want which is cash now. It gives you a bargaining tool..Cash now is what they want and you will find a seller out there that will take it...Paying the neighbor 100.00 a week etc.. takes you out of the bargaining process. Get your ged, get into local rn college get some experience and get more education while you are making a living at nursing. By the way you are not stuck!! Familycoach familycoach Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:28:23 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/stuck_148769 318277 Dear Grass, When you quit what really helps is to replaec it with cardio training. This really works on you if you smoke because you can really feel the effects of your smoking, you really feel what the smoke is doing to you. If you do no training you still feel the same. You really can't tell any difference from smoking or if you quit. Cardio training..even if it is 2 or 3 times a week reminds you, your brain, your physical body how bad the smoke is for you. O ya and by the way...Don't ever let a smoker tell you "they enjoy smoking"..They "smoke because they want to" etc... Thats a load of crap...They smoke because they got addicted to the nicotine. When you first start smoking what happens is the brain actually develops neurons that were created from the nicotine drug. So the addiction comes from the need to begin feeding those newly developed neurons that have developed from the nicotine. In other words, a person who has smoked regularly for a month or two created neurons in their brain that grew only because of the nicotine...When they try and quit those neurons scream out to be satisfied by the nicotine...keep in mind these neurons are only there due to the growth from nicotine...This is why people smoke...a non-smoker does not understand how strong the addiction can be...Try and do the cardio thing. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:16:35 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/smokers_92264 318273 Go to your high school and talk to your teachers that organize plays. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 20 Apr 2008 05:51:39 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/acting_how_to_get_started 318269 Fau, Try and not think about quitting...Start an exercise routine..OK? I can give you some good cardio workouts..Will make you strong..give you endurance..through developing cardio. We will do this in steps.. to phase out your habit. Familycoach familycoach Sat, 29 Mar 2008 07:15:45 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/how_do_i_quit 287488 Dear Lur, I don't know why that is..but a lot of people have these same types of negative feelings...Think about it..Why don't you have feelings of comfort..feelings that a loving spirit is in the house with you..I think it's all in your mind and how you choose to think. You can make yourself think in any direction you want. Start thinking positive, you were thinking negative in the past right? You were wrong..You were alone in the house..you thought evil was going to hurt you..you were afraid..nothing happened..this only means you were allowing your thought to go a direction that is the wrong direction, otherwise you would be hurt..or you would have been attacked, or something bad would have happened to you physically..right? Did any of this happen to you? No...So this means that way of thinking is the wrong way...Everytime you are alone and get negative thoughts..just catch yourself and make your thought stay positive...This does not mean to ignore a sound that would make you think someone is actually trying to break in your house...If you think this just call the police...For the most part just start "thinking" the right way and you will be fine.. Watch some TV also. Familycoach familycoach Sat, 29 Mar 2008 07:07:07 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/i_feel_scared_when_alone_in_the_house 287485 Kay, Consider yourself lucky!! One of the ways you can always keep them in your life forever..is to adopt a lot of the traits you love in them..When you have kids and grandkids, deal with them on the same level as your grandparents deal with you..This way they never die. Their physical body has gone but their spirit is actually living on through you, because they make such a powerful impact on you. (This is ongoing) Your kids and grandkids and maybe even your great grandkids will benefit from the powerful love of your granparents. I hope this helps..if not funmail me..OK? Familycoach familycoach Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:33:12 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/how_would_i_deal_with_this 281453 Kit, If you think you are nice to others than just because you don't know a lot of people does not mean you are not liked. Treat people good and look for things/hobbies/sports that interest you. Then do it... and you will see that the people you meet doing these same activities will become your friends. Go have a blast!! Familycoach familycoach Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:18:58 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_i_do_739 281426 Pook, Before you do anything try and locate her by phone talk to her and play "catch up" over the phone. Don't get your hopes up as to how you think she will act..be strong and never allow another human being to control your happiness...No matter how they are physically related to you..OK? You can funmail me after you speak with her and tell me how she is acting..if you want.Good-luck!! Familycoach familycoach Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:18:44 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/what_do_u_think_434 278730 Jason, Call your music teacher from high school..or a music teacher from a college that you know of. Ask them your question..I am sure they will put you on the right track. Familycoach familycoach Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:14:14 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/singing_acting_career 278729 Tab, No don't go..You know down deep that you did not like your last visit. Try and go somewhere else. You both could compromise. If you do go just find out areas where the drunks laying all over etc... does not happen. Familycoach familycoach Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:41:28 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/should_i_go_to_panama_fl 274525 go see your doctor...forget about funadvice with this one. Familycoach familycoach Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:32:47 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/am_i_ill_12661 274519 Megan, Not a big deal...Don't worry about it..If you guys have fun than go ahead and enjoy yourself. That really is not that big of an age difference anyway. Is he nice to you? Do you guys have fun together? Do you both like eachothers company Etc...If so you both have a blast!!!Have fun!! Familycoach familycoach Sun, 16 Mar 2008 20:45:11 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/age_difference_2400 267273 Dear Ana, Don't say anything now..It's not a big deal..you are kinda nervous about it..there is no need to go into it now..You know they may not take it so well (thats why you are nervous) let it go for now. Do other things, enjoy yourself with friends etc..Don't worry now about explaining to anyone as to who you are sexually attracted to.. Familycoach familycoach Sun, 16 Mar 2008 20:40:03 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/going_to_tell_my_parents 267269 Dear lul, Tell your mom or dad. If that does not work, write a letter to your sister and write a letter to your mom and dad, explaining your feelings about how and why your sister is mean to you. You can funmail me back after that. Familycoach familycoach Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:31:02 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/my_sister_is_mean_to_me 261971 Dear Dollar, What do you think? When you look in the mirror do you think you are overweight? Funmail me back OK? Familycoach familycoach Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:19:16 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/is_this_bad_3460 261957 Dear Fau, What is your present height and weight? I need to know this before I answer...OK? Familycoach familycoach Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:59:52 -0700 http://www.funadvice.com/q/can_anyone_help_me_convince_my_mom 255797 Dear Ice, Your past denial in how you would treat others is being called out through the problems you are having with you exams...Use it to change the way you treat people..No more name calling, no more faking, etc...Because you are finding out the hard way how all that crap you give people eventually comes right back to you in other forms. Treat people right..There is no reason for you to be insecure.. By treating others right..this will give you more confidence not only with exams but in all aspects of your life. Also try and study harder..an extra hour or two a day..really know the subject matter..not just memorizing answers...find out why the answers are the right ones...For example..Take an orthopedic surgeon, they don't just go into class and memorize a bunch of answers...they find out why the answers are what they are..they have a full understanding as to the subject matter..this is why you can ask them any question and they will answer it with no problem..Your area is no different..I challenge you to really buckle down and dive into all aspects of what you are studying..Try it and let me know..Good-luck!!! Familycoach familycoach Sat, 08 Mar 2008 05:42:08 -0800 http://www.funadvice.com/q/examination_halls_classrooms_and 254255