Writing a book ( fiction )

Hay ,Right Im writing a book I started it about 2 1/2 years ago and stopped because of a break up , I was wandering if anyone could give me some pointers and maybe help out with it abit. here is the page for it please read and give me pointers thanks...

will be bestowed and if I can write the full book mentions will be there . the pages I have done .

Page 1:

One night like many nights for many years we join a prince
Ripped of title, burned by his people, disowned by his own father
And exiled from the lands he calls home.

The prince lost to the times of despair...

One year after the exile of the prince from his home town of memostale
Prince lairy or as he had become known in the parts of the forgotten
Lairy lad had come across a town loyal to the former prince.
In the town he came across an old beggar lady who began to speak of
Unknown peril in the prince's future. The prince sort no comfort in the words of the lady but as he continued onwards through the town one thing the old Beggar had said repeated in his head.

Your journey to the great sage will not be with out lost”
Finally the former prince reached the lords manor where he sort answers to
The recent rumors of the uprising of the desert rats on the eastern boarder

Audiences with the mayor were hard to come by as he was a busy man but
The prince was a smart thinker and earned such an audience with the mayor with ease.
During the brief but informative audience with Mayor Lang the prince learnt of more then a petty uprising of thieves and muggers.

There was trouble in memostale and the prince feared for his friends but alas
He had been exiled. But the prince was never more determined to return home.
Being a thousand miles away from home wasn’t going to make the journey back a easy one for the prince and he knew it, any rivers and towns he must pass yet again to return to the place he once knew.

The prince now totally supplied for a journey of such importance set of to the west in search of a old ally and a old friend but as he reached the border of town he was confronted yet again by the old beggar who spoke of no peril but handed the prince a small knife made of what only seemed to be silver , the prince knew what it was meant for and carried on not to return to the small town for many a year .

It had been three weeks since the prince had left the town and he had thought to have reached the large river which lays between the realm of the forgotten and
A forest un-mapped by most men and only a few who can navigate it, the prince
Of course knew of such a man but in order to find him he must first cross the large River .

Page 2:
He had searched for almost three days before reaching a small ferry crossing but
The owner was no where to be found and it seemed odd as this would be one of the only ones for miles around , determined to cross the prince grabbed the rope and began to cross by him self only to be caught in the middle by a group desert rats who were way out of there territory . they began to cut the rope and if they succeed the prince would have no way of returning to either side and would at some point hit the rapids and die a most horrible death .

But as they reached near success a glint caught the princes eye and three small daggers flew form the near by forest and killed two of the desert rats , scared of certain death the remaining desert rat ran for his petty worthless life . The prince still stuck in the middle of the river edged his way to the other side and escaped seconds before the rope had snapped and sent the ferry flying down river.

The prince unsure if the person or thing that had killed the desert rats was friend or foe drew the small dagger the beggar had given as he feared the worst form this forest. But alas it was neither werewolf nor forest thieve it was but old friend.
The prince so glad to see a familiar face put away the dagger but as he approached his old friend a dagger flew directly at the princes foot . The prince shocked by such behavior drew sword .

sever thou weapon I be ally shouted the prince at his old friend . shocked by what seems to be the former prince the hooded shadow emerges from the woods only to be orca the hooded hunter .

prince ? said the slightly confused orca.

yes old friend it be I , and I seek to return to the land we once called home , I fear there may be forces working against my father prince lairy carried on to explain how the mayor had told of uprising all across ashilis .

“then surely we must move to the forest to save as much time as we can sire as memostale will surely burn if we do not move with haste !”.

The prince stood silent for a few moments unsure if he and his friend alone could save memostale .

our chances are slim and our numbers even slimmer we lone shall not be able to save memostale and returning would be a death trap in its own right , we must seek more allies and who knows the enemy may yet prove to be of use to there own undoing .

prince we head west to the land of the distressed where we seek the wise one he will know of the locations of allies and enemies alike.

the prince and his loyal friend set fourth westwards in search of a way to stop the uprising unaware that there was more to this uprising then met the eye.

Page 3:
The prince had long wished for his friends to stand by his side but things just weren't the same since he was betrayed , this was but another reason why the prince did not now feel right , he knew he would not love again for find his old love the same way .

things had changed people had changed the prince was nothing but a wish from the people but wishes don't always turn out the way they are wished . during the princes long hard thought orca had scouted ahead to find fire wood as it was getting dark and they would need to set up camp soon or face the darkness ..

the fire wood sparks feel up as if alive in the night dancing in the cool wind which had started to come in from the south , with the upcoming night of what seemed to be nothing but calm the prince and his companion settled in blissfully unaware of the world around them for that moment in time.

the night sky was beautiful but orca and the prince had soon lost the peace they had found and had now gone in to discussion of love lost and found , the prince how ever was not but a humble audience to orca as he told a story of a poet who held his love .

the story went on for hours to come , the prince realized why the hunter traveled alone not to feel the pain of lose or even the pleasure of love but without human compassion would the hunter not become yet another lost to memory lane .

The prince feeling nothing but compassion for his friend insisted that after they find the great mage they take the short journey west to orcas home town of kakomeo . orca wished only to continue on and not to bring the past to the present but the prince argued that they needed fresh supplies and that it was the only town for miles around .

Orca no matter how much he wished not to return there accepted it and started to gather fruits for the on coming journey .

page 4:
it was still early when the prince awake , the birds in the tree's blessing the day with music as he could not force himself back to sleep he decided he would go for a stroll not too far from the camp to lose some time being quiet so he would not wake the hunter he slowly walked off through the woods , the prince thought the stroll would do his body good .

the morning saw many woodland creatures out foraging for food , the prince could feel summer had come and the animals could sense it to .

the prince had been gone for a few hours now and it was almost midday when hunter orca awake and saw the princes empty bed threatened by the concept of loneliness orca rushed to arms charging blindly in to the forest before ultimately running in to a stream only to see the prince
fishing on the other side of the river .

Do not rush off without protection shouted the soaked hunter . the prince not aware of what just happened broke out in laughter at the wet hunter .

fear not friend this parts of the woods know not what danger is laughed the prince.
the prince and orca spent the rest of the day hiking the foothills of kakomeo the hills were steep as they were vast it would take someone with a vast knowledge of the surrounding area to navigate in and out unharmed . the creatures around here had stayed unchanged for centurys unaffected by the outside world and therefore had created a special bound of trust with the people of kakomeo .

as they drew close to the town they could see the mighty tower , it was beautiful as it was fearful the sun set slowly behind the tower turning it a dark shade of red , orca knew it wouldnt be long before he would be home or whats left of home .

the prince saw something was wrong with orca , there was soemthing tormenting his very soul .
the prince did not know if he had the courage to ask the hunter what wa s bothering him... as he had a good idea .

Later that evening while orca searched for wood for the fire the prince went off in search of varieous herbs as he had planned a feast for his hunter friend for that very night , prince lairy knew the supplies he had would not do for a feast so he did what must be done he searched 3 hours before coming upon a den of a family of deers the prince drew a small dagger and slit across the throat of a young fawn killing it in the most mercyful way he knew , he tied the dead fawn up and carried it back to camp where he prepared everything for the return of orca , the fest was almost ready but one thing was missing orca , the prince waited a hour before he finalled turned up .

...prince wa.. mumbled orca before being rudely interputed by the prince

hush friend for tonight we feast chuckled the prince.

The laughter could be heard for miles around but no one was around to hear , as the evening progressed the two friends grew tired it was 3 hours before the prince stumbled towards his bed .the night seemed to drag on for ever orca sat beside the fire wishing it didnt happen but it did he thought and there was nothing you could do .

overwrought by his thoughts orca walked off in to the woods searching for his place of peace and harmony . orca walked in to the clearing and sat by the fallen oak tree , he closed his eyes and thought of nothing but her but as always his peace would not last long .

a few metres away stood a grizzle bear foaming at the mouth he could see it in its eyes it was thirsty for blood orce grabbed for his sword but the bear swiped it aside with its formidable claws , orca was now defenceless , back at camp the prince awake suddenly to the sound of a thundering roar not so far from the camp , he knew that orca was not sleeping so he grabbed his sword and charged off towards the roar , the prince ran in to the clearing lunging forwards in front of orca the bears threw the prince aside . orca drew the princes blade slashing the bear across its lsrge coat ,orca knew he had only wounded it and that the bear would return one day , orca carried the unconous prince back to camp and tended to his wounds it seems the princes idea had failed , orca sat and watched over the prince the rest of the dark night .

page 5:

it had been three days since the bear attack and the prince had healed up very nicely , they knew the attack had slowed there progress quite a bit and wished only to move on with the utmost haste as it was important not to waste the time they had .

p.s I am going to do abit of a rewrite and renaming so any ideas on that front is also welcome .

It's good, keep writing it.

keep writing it!