Weird friend situation

I seem to be pushing my friends away lately, friends that I've had for the past 10 years, more like family. and I don't know why but I can't stop myself. and 2 of them live next to me. I've alway's been one to look after my friends before my own intrests, just the way I am. but now I recieved an offer for a state job and im trying to grow up. im almost 21 but still a kid in heart, and this job gives me a gun so I really need to mature. and my friends are bad influences on me but its not there fault, I like to have fun. they have no jobs, no ambition, so they sit around and get messed up all day. and its so easy to fall into that trap. I've been concentrating on me for the first time ever and it feels wierd. but by the way its going, in a couple more months im going to mess up my friendships, people I've known my whole life. people I'd die for, people that would die for me. its hard to mess up a friendship when your so close, but if I stopped putting in the effort what are they suppose to think. and if I do get the job I have to relocate so that isn't going to help if everythings messed up. I just need some input

well you have to find a balence between your responsibility and your friendships
everyone has to 'mature' but not nesessarily abandon their inner kid
that just makes you a bitter person
it seems like your just afraid that something you might do with your friends might negativly affect your job
you can hang out with them, but make right choices, which is the hardest part
but figure out a balence, and if thats not possible
figure out what you want more, friendships (negative and positive ones) or a career
good luck!

Hey dude, look my friend went threw the same thing. I guese its just time to move on from your old friends. With this new job you can make new friends who want what you want and know how to have fun without pot and drinking. So go ahead and push them away, meet new people. And if that dosent work out your old friends would take you back.

Just remember your friends for 10 years must have been with you threw all types of phases, so dont just drop em like a bad habit, tell them your situation.

not bad, but these are the only people I know I can trust besides family, you can't buy that kind of trust, it comes with years of loyalty

You'll find in a few years once you stop using drugs and alcohol that they really weren't your friends to begin with, just drinking buddies. They will move on too at some point and won't talk as often or stop talking all together in time. Especially when they start to marry and have kid's. If they are going to be upset with you because your starting a new career and have to relocate then what kind of friends are they really? Honestly you'll make new friendships and they will be stronger than the old because they are not based upon drugs or alcohol but upon real human emotion. You need to worry about yourself not your friends it's time to get selfish and grow up, do you want to be a looser your whole life just because your old friends will despise you because you have a chance at success and take it rather than living the same old life with them that will go nowhere?

Well hey...can't you stiill see then?? I mean almost 21! your an adult! So you will have to start making tough decicions by urself! So do what your heart tells you to! Like if you want the job then hey go for it! I mean you can still help out your frends and see then on days when your off, on vacation, or just want a break! If you don't take the job then you will be wit your friends like all the time! so instead of having a responsabillty then you can go and hang wit em!! or or you can stay where you are and find a new job near where you live!!

good friends understand. tell the about this job your thinking about and tell them that you still want to be friends with them. they may be upset at first but theyll get over it . when you have time off you can visit them and show them that you still what to be friends hope I helped ~kaitlyn~

yeah Kattie is right they will understand and this is a good opertunity for you so don't blow it !!!

you need to tell your friends that you need to start acting more mature for your upcoming job. Let them know that they are important to you and you would do anything for them. But like others are saying, you need to focus on your life and not on everyone else's. Be sure to tell them nicely and not to pushy and dont make it sound like they need to change because you are. Your friends will understand. Hope all goes well.

Kali