Why should I live?

My life is only of any value to me, so if I feel it doesn't have any value, then it must not. I just don't see anything for me in the future. I failed school because it's pointless, I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life and I don't see myself ever having one, I don't have real friends that actually care, my family has yet to show they care and I'm pretty sure they don't, I don't want a job, I don't care about having money, my parents are afraid I'll live with them for the rest of my life and they'll still have to support me, and I'm basically just a tool they use to mow the lawn and do other trivial chores they're just to lazy to do themselves. I don't know what to do and I want to go on an adventure that's totally impossible due to reality. To die would be an awfully big adventure, and now I'm actually considering departing on it.

Suicide is not the answer. You may be in a rut for a very long time, but trust me thins will clear up. Maybe go on a dating site, there's always a girl/guy for everyone. If you know GOD pray to him, he will help you.( I'm sorry, if that offened you, but try.) Some people may not show they care about you but they do, and killing yourself will hurt the people around inculing you the most. Hope it helps, sorry if it dosent.

You may not think so, but you're showing clear signs of depression (they include total lack of motivation and lack of self esteem and self worth among other things). I know it sounds totally crazy, and you may be thinking hell no, they aren't going to care- but why not give them one chance and talk to your parents? HONESTLY. Tell them about how you're really feeling, don't sugarcoat it or twist it or think it's no big deal- you deserve to live and maybe, just maybe- you're wrong about them and they really do care. Isn't it worth it to find out? If you find yourself saying no- think about how hurt they would be if they do care and something happened to you. Even when you feel like you have no one, it is virtually impossible (unless you live in a cave) to have absolutely no person in the world who would care if you were gone. You matter, and if you find out what's causing this road block in your mind, you might be able to understand why a little better.
I was suicidal for quite a while, and was 100% certain I had no one. Now that I have gone to counseling and moved past that painful part of my life (which lasted 6 years) I realize the people were always there for me, I just couldn't see it because of all I was going through. It's important you give it a shot, even just calling a hotline or talking to a family member could lead to a new start for you. Good luck, funmail me if you ever need someone to talk to.

Who's to say things will get better? How do you know? What if they don't? Because there's always the chance they won't.

There was a girl at school, but I missed my chance to ever talk to her, and now I'll never see here again.

I pray, but I don't ask anything of God. He's done quite enough for all of us, wouldn't you agree?

By killing myself, of course the people I know might be sad, but think about it. When I'm dead, they won't have to worry about me, and they'll like me a lot better remembering me when I'm dead, rather than while I'm here alive because they just assume I'll always be here. I'd be doing them a favor.

As for myself, I'd be dead. I don't think I'd care.

I've already been through all this suicidal crap before, and the first time around pretty much confirmed that my parents don't care all that much. It's stupid and selfish of me to bother them with it again and dump my probems on them. It's better I just end it all without making such a huge deal out of it.

And if somehow it turns out they do care that much then maybe I want to hurt them. Maybe I want them to think about how when I was alive they didn't do enough.

And like I said, it would be a burden on them to bother them with it, and the only way they'd ever understand how serious I am about it anyway is to actually do it and just kill myself.

Well, if you want to go on an adventure, and obviously aren't afraid of anything, don't kill yourself, just pack up your things and go. Observe - http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/
Good luck
Luvsya (Sorry, but I do care, I'm a caring person.)
Ditta

You are not a burden. One of my biggest problems, and one of the reasons why I didn't ask for help for such a long time, was the fact that I didn't think I was "worth the trouble". I figured hey, if no one's been trying to talk to me, to listen to me, it must mean I'm not worth all that much. If they cared, they'd have spoken up by now. So why keep on trying, or why put my stupid little problems on anyone else, when it'd be better to just give up?
The thing is, it's not better to just give up. It's a hell of a lot easier, though. Life is hard, and I can't have any idea what you've been through in your life. This is about you, not me- but I want you to know I've been through some tough crap as well so I'm not just making this up as I go along. I'm worth something, and so are you. People have responded to this post because you're worth something. If you call a hotline, someone will talk to you for as long as you need and try to find a way to help you because you're worth something. It sucks, but sometimes the place you're in just can't give you what you need- that doesn't mean you don't matter at all in the bigger scheme of things.
I used to want to hurt all the people who'd ignored me, too- but it doesn't solve anything. Ask for help, call a hotline- talk to some other family member, a teacher or guidance office at a school nearby- or if none of those work you can always check yourself into a hospital where they will find someone to help you. Please keep trying.

When people think you're dying they really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to talk.

I'm not about to check myself into a hospital because all they do here is drug you up and call you cured.

I took anti-depressants once and they just made me more depressed.

I went to a psychiatrist once and he made me want to kill myself even more.

And I'm still not convinced I'm worth the trouble. If I'm not worth caring about normally, no one is going to want to have to deal with my stupid problems. They'll pretend because they don't know what else to do, but who the hell wants their son or sybling or friend to be like "hey, maybe I want to die"?

Hospitals do not just drug you up and say you're cured- I know because my brother checked himself into a hospital when he was feeling suicidal about 2 months ago. They took him to the ward for other people going through the same thing, some worse, and gave him what looked like a dorm room with another patient. They had a counselor come in and talk with him, and allowed him to stay for as long as he needed to. They found out what the right treatment for him was, and he was released when he felt he was ready to try to fix things. He's been to counseling and is doing a lot better- the hospital just gave him an opportunity to be separate from his life for a while so he could accept the help being offered to him.
I know what you mean about antidepressants making you more depressed- although I've never taken them, there have been studies showing that some drugs do have that affect on people. Did you try seeing a different psychiatrist (ones recommended by hospitals or schools are often better than random people) and telling him/her what was going on? And, drugs aren't the only medical help out there. Psychologists work with how you think and help you by giving you someone to talk to. I was skeptical too, but seeing the right kind of counselor ended up saving my life and making me so much happier.
I felt the same way, that if I had to be suicidal for people to care, they probably didn't really care at all. But the thing is, not everyone's so intuitive- not everyone is as empathetic or understanding, or aware of what's going on around them. It's a lousy excuse, but it's true- sometimes you have to shout and wave your arms around and say you need help for people to truly understand what you're saying. I guarantee you, if you keep trying, you will find someone who listens because they truly believe you're a good person, and deserve the help. I'm sorry I write so much, but this is really important to me- I want to help you, and you deserve to be helped.

Oh, and you're right, things might not get better, if you do nothing. Maybe, even if you try, things will get worse before they get better. Maybe maybe maybe. Maybe it's worth a shot. Maybe you could end up being really happy after all this crap you've had to go through. Maybe people will wake up and understand how important you are to them, and will actually let you know it. Maybe you will be able to help someone else in the same situation, years from now, after you've learned from your experience. There are far more possibilities when you're alive, and even if it could get worse- the positive chances definitely outweigh the negative. Does saving someone else's life mean anything to you? Because showing someone else you've made it could give them the strength to keep trying just like you did. I promise you, you'd be amazed to find out how many people have felt the same way you do right now- and how many people you can help just by taking care of yourself. I know that now, even if I didn't believe it when I felt as low as you do.

Please come out of the attitude of despair, frustration and negativism. God has made a good design for all of us. Sometimes, because of circumstances, things do not shape up the way we want. Have patience. Divert your attention. Get out of your room or house. Try a change. If you are able to pray, please do that. Pour out all your problems to God and ask him his help and guidance. A signal will come to you.
Nothing has gone wrong. There are people living in worse conditions. But they dont lose hope
Shirdi Sai Baba will listen to you and help you for sure

I know how you feel dude..but death isnt the answer..you just die and nothing will happen. you should live because..if you take time to find someone who loves you, youll be so happy. and I know you will find someone who will love you. theres many who haevnt found love yet but dont worry. plus..theres a lot to come and you will miss out if you die. just think about it. please

How selfish of you.

Thats what they do at the mental hospital HERE. My mom works for the school system and has dealt with that place before. It's bad news.

You are a whining crybaby that has the luxury of being able to feel disaffected because you are sucing off your parents. Most of the world has to struggle for survival. If you were to go out into the real world you would not have time to be "out of sorts" because you would be too busy surviving. Maybe if you tried to become independent you would get out of the house, feel better about yourself, and meet other people.

I only whine and "cry" about this HERE. Which when I last checked is why this sucky site is here in the first place.

So bye 'real world' and 'struggle to survive' you mean being a 'grown up', having a job, and paying the bills, right? Right. That's not survival.

I have no problem doing work when it benefits me directly. I clean up my room, and even the backyard of my 'parents house' on my own accord, when I want them clean for one reason or another, and I do a great job of it.

What I do have a problem with is doing work that benefits me indirectly, like just being paid for doing something for someone else. THAT'S being independent.

All you REALLY need money for is food and shelter. So what good is money when you can get your own food and build your own shelter?

please do not even consider suicide.you really do have things to live for.I'm sure your parents really do care,but they don't show it.believe me,I've felt like suicide before,but then I realised it's a selfish thing to do.it can cause a lot of pain for other people.talk to someone,like a helpline.suicide is not the answer.message me if you want to talk,because people on here are all your friends and they want to help you.good luck.
xoxo

I dont think suicide is an answer to anythink you need professional help and to be hones suicide is a selfish act think of how you family would feel devostated I am shue they do love you some people find it hard to show there love

dan x

I get it...
tired of living
scared of dying

I feel the same way and I want to get to an accident to see if people really care about me and I am going to do that but I dont know what I can do to get me in that situacion

well..suiside isnt such a great answer boy...And im sure that your family and stuff do care for you...they just...dont express it..witch is gay...but you know...theres always sumtin fo every1 in the future..as harsh as life can be...hey..lifes not easy..but if you play it right..den it could be great! just live it smooth and try your best..well..I hope that stuff goes good fo you =]
Peace..<<3