Whats with the discrimination?

So someone thats anorexic asks a question asking if anyone wants to be friends with her and she mentions that shes anorexic and the question gets locked, yet someone can ask to be friends when they cut and are suicidal...? Whats wrong with that picture?...

Why are people so discriminating? Seriously, they are only looking for friends, its not like she was asking for tips on how to be a better anorexic. Geesh. You really need to take a second and look over the questions being locked. Mabey that girl was reaching out and looking for someone to help her get out of the anorexia? Ever think of that? Mabey she just wants to connect with someone like herself?!

Hi there-

1) We lock all questions where people say they cut & tell them they need professional help. If you see one where that's NOT the case, we rely on members of the site (that includes you) to use the little "report abuse" link. I read all the reports we get personally.

2) suicidal - again, we lock it, delete it, and tell them to get help. If you see a counter example, PLEASE HELP. Don't complain after the fact.

3) Anorexia KILLS 20% of the people who have this SERIOUS mental disease. NONE of the volunteers OR staff on the site are QUALIFIED to diagnose, treat OR cure mental disease.

So us nuking the question & telling them to GET HELP is a PROBLEM for you how exactly? Because we shouldn't tell them to get the best help possible?

Sorry - not going to happen.

Go here if you'd like to delete your account:
http://www.funadvice.com/my...

Personally, I absolutely REFUSE to let people try to hurt themselves, encourage others to do so, etc, as much as possible on a site that I own.

If that doesn't make sense to you then by all means, tell me what we could do better.

A part of the mental disorder that goes along with many ED's is "recruiting" other people and helping them further their illness and looking for anorexic supporters to share "tips".

Let's also not forget that suicide and anorexia are very different as far as the mental states.

Anorexia, cutting and suicide are very serious and should be handled by professionals. Users can easily use the search feature to find similar questions that are locked and provide excellent resources for professional help. (You must also understand that having such content on the website could potentially be a liability. Please refer to the Terms of Use.)

Putting a message up on funadvice for "anyone want to be friends?" usually gets deleted with or without saying the person is anorexic or suicidal.

If you see any question that involves ANY type of self-harm please use the report abuse link or notify an advisor. If you feel a question was locked and/or deleted wrongfully then contact the site's administration (thedude or editor)

xox
Sika

thanks a bunch thedude, I didn't realize the abuse button was there

I think you're referring to the question where the girl put up her AIM info and wanted an anorexia/bulemia friends? I locked that question because it was pretty obvious to me that they were looking for someone to continue their unhealthy habits with. They were not asking for help (even though this is also against terms of use). This is not a pro-ana site and the site is not here to help people hurt themselves

well just to put it out there I struggle with Depression, Im suicidal, Im also a struggling Anorexic/Bulimic... I've been this way for two years, are you going to judge me? are you going to block or delete my questions now that you know I am that way? are you going to judge me for something that happens with or with out someone wanting it? I never wanted to be depressed, but I happen to be, I happen to hate my life so much that I feel suicidal... ask yourself this question... would you rather kill someone before you killed yourself? if you say yes you are homicidal, or have had homicidal thoughts, if you say no then you would rather kill yourself than kill someone else or bring harm to anyone else? then you are suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts... You are no different than me or the next person, Dont judge, Do hate, Dont fear what you dont know, and when someone is reaching out for help why cut off her? deny her help? mabey shes seen preofessionals, I have, they suck, they dont help, so you find someone like you, and you help each other, like humans should do, would you just sit there and watch someone ask you for help and want to reach out to get better and you just turn your head like you dont notice it? thats the same as locking questions, your turning your heads away, just like other people, you dont care, and why in the hell would you deny someone finding new friends? if your worried about people being pedos and crap like that then mabey this site isnt safe, nothing is ever safe from people like that, no matter how hard you try there are always people like that!

For the last time, the site cannot allow people to look for friends specifically to help them to continue to hurt themselves. I am sorry but that is just called being responsible. You do not encourage harmful behavior, even if you do it yourself, even if you hurt yourself, you really shouldnt be helping others do that to themselves.

once again I'll state such questions could be a liability for the site. You need to put things into perspective. Locking/deleting such questions has nothing to do with discrimination or judgments.

If it upsets you that much.. Why don't you invent your own website for it... and cross your fingers that you don't get sued after someone's mother finds out her now deceased child was encouraged for harmful behavior.

It's unfortunate that you've been through such bad times. I know it can be hard to find the "right" professional help. But you have to be strong and keep trying until you find a health care professional that ""clicks"" with you. I struggle with post traumatic stress disorder from childhood sexual abuse everyday, it took me 3 counselors until I found the right one.

If you want support I suggest ivillage.com they have many message board communities for such things.

xox
Sika

Thanks Sika, it's hard to explain how experiencing something does not mean encouraging it...

I've been through the cutting, the eating disorder, the suicidal impulses, being locked up etc etc, but despite it all (and forget the liability) you do not ever encourage another human being to harm themselves the way you do...

And this site had rules, you follow them whether you agree with them or not...

Otherwise find another site...

again this is so not cool.
if you have been thru this all then you shud knnow how it feels. the pain and everything, and how it felt to search and hope you find peoople like u. and the feeling oof being left out and not being cared for. if you acually went thru all of this then you shud give those questions your locking a second look at BEFORE you acually delete/lock it.

did you not even comprehend the answers above?

This site is by no means a huge empire and cannot afford to allow themselves to fall into any type of liability. It's always wise to err on the side of caution. You agreed to the terms of use when you signed up, if you don't like it move on.

I agree with you, it's good to find people like you for *positive* support. But due to the nature of this site, it just isn't the place to do it. That's why I referenced you to ivillage.com.

xox
Sika

I do look at the questions, and I refer people on to sites that can help them.
I will not, have never, and will never encourage people to do what I do. If people will insist on encouraging others I will lock those questions. I get it, if people are looking for help then they need to be on another site, this is not the site for them. If they are looking for people to help support their habits, or for people to encourage, then first of all they really need to think about what they're doing, and they definitely don't need to be on here.

I know it is hard to be dealing with these issues, but this is not the site for it... The people who created this site need to protect themselves as well, and although not everyone agrees by certain rules you need to follow them or find another site...

Those who feel suicidal and rebellious, should not be able to get onto this web to spread this. Suicide and being anorexic is something that is a serious issue in America right now, whether you choose to believe it or not. The FunAdvice Advisors are doing what they're supposed to and you cannot choose to be centered around yourself. You obviously have some sort of personal issue, that you try to show by posting up this question. Those who cut, harm, think of suicide, or do anything to themselves that's disastrous should logically be left out. Sure we don't know what you're going through, and maybe we never will. But don't put up a snarky attitude and make it seem like we don't try to help. All of us in this web only get on to ask questions because we need help with problems. Small or big, they are all issues. And as for those who advise, we try to help as much as possible. You seem to only rebel and think of yourself. Before you try and talk back remember this.

"Those who go through something disastrous should be able to look above. And do better. Yet those who are weak shall obsess themselves with their personal issues."

This is a quote written by myself, and myself alone. Personal issues should not hold you back from becoming a bad person. "emo" has started up and people want to kill themselves because they feel suicidal, but seriously that is their own fault if they feel that way. I have had personal problems in life, and believe me you do not want to hear about them, but I got over it. And now I live my life good and pure. You need to become a better person by your sad background. Because in the end the people around you will be harmed by your actions. This is not an act of discrimination, but one of protection. If you can't deal with that then go and mourn with some friends. It won't give you anything to gain. Take my advice and go out there, try to change yourself. Because you don't want those who care about you to go to waste.

I say this not to make fun/discriminate you. But if you want to argue then go ahead, argument does not lead to anything but disaster. I would even try to hear you out. I am a person willing to help, whether you choose to believe that or not.