What should I do I'm scared...

I have tons of problems... one maajor one is that my house is violent... my dad hit my mom the other night... and I don't know what to do... he hasn't hit me recently but he has hit me really hard... 2 1/2 months ago my father punched me in the back of the head... so I didnt go to school for a few days... I had this huge bump on the back of my head that hurt really bad...
I told my boyfriend about it and he went off really bad... he wanted to freak on my dad... And I don't want to get my dad in trouble because he takes care of me... he's the reason why I'm well behaved and I don't live on the streets... my mom only says that he does it because he loves us... I think it's just because she doesn't want us to grow up without our dad... he wasn't always like this... it started afther I became a teenager... I think that he has built up so much anger that he finally let it go on us... but I don't know anymore... sometimes I just wasnt to run away...

Oh my God. If your father has hit you on a regular basis then you have to go to the police. If this had happen only few times, you should find out what is the reason of his (your parents) behavior. Maybe they have serious problems what cannot cope. You are 17, usually a father likes very (or too) much his 17 yo daughter, so maybe when you are in privite you could ask him what is (was?) the problem with their life. Be empathic but also determind to save the calm of your life.

Dear fairieprincess1718,
If you are still living at home you must leave now. Go to the police, school counsellor or local children's protection services. I know this is a scary situation but these people are paid to help people just like you. They will find you a safe place and even help your mother. Just think of how you will be helping not just yourself but your mother...she is being hurt and we can't just sit back and let that happen. Even if she says you can't tell you must...she says that because she is scared. You will also be helping your father who will get the help he needs. He is probably scared too and doesn't know what to do. Most of all you'll be helping yourself. Your strength in getting help will be an inspiration for your parents. They may not like it at first but later on they will thank you.
Your father doesn't want to hurt, your mother doesn't want to be hurt and you can get them the help they need by helping yourself.
Sue...good luck

I agree! This CAN NOT continue! Tell authorities ASAP!

please hun, you need to get you and your mother help, you both need to get away from him! I no he is your dad, but he is controlling you both by hitting you, he doesnt love you when he passes that line. Please tell someone, maybe a teacher or even better.....the police direct and they can get you both away and protect you, please leave.

he does love me... it didn't start until I became a teenager... I know he loves me... and a thing I didn't add is that my mom has hit me too... he only hits her when she is really making him mad... but she has hit me worse then he has...

Dear fairieprincess1718,
Yes your parents love you...that's not the problem. The problem is that they don't know how to cope. So they lash out...chances are they were abused as children also. You are being ABUSED and you must get out of there NOW! Their behaviours are wrong and illegal too...they need help and so do you. Don't you want to help them??? I know you're scared but right now you have to find a safe place...PHONE THIS NUMBER 1-800-6868 this is the children's help line. They will help.
Sue...good luck.

I know you are trying to help me... and yes my father was abused by his step father. And he was so close to graduating and his step father kicked him out so he had to work so many jobs at once... And my moms parents didn't care about her. And my parents are doing the best they can to raise us. But the thing is, the cops told my mom she was allowed to hit us but I don't know about beating us though thats a different story... I don't know... maybe I should just tell them they need to stopp or I'm leaving... they haven't done it recently though, lately I have benn just getting yelled at...

Dear fairieprincess1718,
In my profession I work with families just like yours. I will tell you this again...LEAVE. Do not give them a choice to stop or you'll leave. The next hit could be the last for you it could end in damage such as a brain injury or death. The police did not say she is allowed to hit you...it is illegal to hit a child other than a slap on the behind that leaves no marks. This of course is geared to younger children...you cannot slap, hit, punch, kick, bite, pinch etc. a child or another person that is abuse and illegal in every all of North America and many other places around the world. You have to leave...call the number I gave you or find a local women's shelter, school counsellor, pastor to talk with. They can find you a safe place and only then can you begin to heal. Don't you want your family to heal? Do you want your family happy? Then it starts with you...show them how to help themselves.
Sue...good luck

um for one, exuse me because I was standing right there when they told her she could hit us when they were taking my sister to juvi...

Dearfairieprincess1718,
I speak for Canada Laws...spanking is permitted only if it does not leave a mark. I am not totally clear on American laws but I am assuming it is legal to spank only...there is no law that allows any other form of corporal punishment. If you are over the age of 12 say...than spanking can be interpreted as something sexual and is not acceptable as a consequence. They may have said it is okay to spank but if they said it was okay to hit or any other type of abuse then they were not informed of their own child abuse laws or they were frustrated, or trying to scare you.
Sue....a phone call to children services in your state could clear it all up for you as well as answer any other questions you have.
Good luck

Ahhh, the therapy that will ensue for the following years will be expensive indeed. Listen to Sue, she means well and she is speaking nothing but in your best interest, unlike your parents who are using selfish reasons to justify horrible crimes. You won't be able to convince them of this. You definitely need to get out of there.

However, in these cases usually the victim isn't going to do well after leaving the house. You need your life to have a plan and a structure that will make you happy. College. Careers. Meaningful relationships.

Don't end up with a guy like your dad. I have seen that happen a lot as well. Learn to love yourself and remember that you are the most important person on this earth. That should help you decide who treats you like what.

When your dad punched you in the back of the head, it made him a criminal. He knows that it is a crime that he can get away with, so his own actions may not ever change now that there has been no precedent of punishment for his behavior. Your mom committed a crime when she supported your dad's actions. So your parents are both technically breaking the law. They may not ever see it this way, but it is a reason for you to stay a safe distance from them even if you plan on keeping contact with them. Your own boyfriend's actions should worry you as well. If he is prone to anger then maybe you already found a guy like daddy. Stay safe and talk to any counselor that is available to you for guidance.

no my boyfriend is just mad because he doesnt think I should be treated like that... and no I KNOW he would never hit me... he doesnt even like to argue with me... when we argue hes always the one who apologizes and trie to make it up to me... I know he's not like that.

LEAVE go to an aunts uncles grampa grandma's anywhere! but LEAVE

LEAVE go to an aunts uncles grampa grandma's anywhere! but LEAVE

If they have hit you repeatedly, in all probabilty they DON'T love you, and maybe only lie to you and themselves by playing a loving parent part of the time because 1) They don't want you to do anything about their smackin' ya around, and 2) because they don't want to look like a villain in your OR their own eyes. So maybe next time there's a big brawl in your abode you should bust in with a paint ball gun and shoot em in the stomach and tell em to shut the hell up, stop hitting everyone, and if they don't stop it and love you like they should the next paintball's going to get em in the face and you're going to run away and never come back ever. Best plan ever.

amber! thats so horrible! I go 2 school w/ you and didnt know! I want to talk to you bad! I luv u.

amber! thats so horrible! I go 2 school w/ you and didnt know! I want to talk to you bad! I luv u.

im sooo sorry!!! You NEED to tell someone!But do not think that your doing anyhting wrong he will just get help that he needs!!!Good luck and stay safe!!!

Get out of there!

amber, I didn't know things were this bad until a few weeks ago. Listen. I understand your story more than anyone on here.so I seriously think that familycounseling would do so much. I know your parents try so hard for you and love you, but physically hurting you is wrong. I love you, you've really supported me the past few days with the stuff im going through. If you ever need anything, im here, I love you.

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