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What's your opinion on my poem?
 
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What's your opinion on my poem?
ok here's another one of my poems, I don't know this one isn't as powerful as the one before,but that's just me but I still like it
what's your opinion on it, all opinions are welcome even those brutal nasty ones
but be honest please
-vinnie
You take...
away all the pain
Watching every moment as you go insane,
Sudden tears of darkness swiftly fall
Within all the ruptured voices, all echoes call,
“Take my compassion in fear
And let it go into night time shear”,
“Then presume the glory of my hands of fate,
We look for moon light, but it’s too late”.
Now show me your sparkle of misery life
Dripping in crimson fluid, we share the knife,
Illuminating glows draw a poisonous glance
Into millions of butterflies, burning in dance,
Pain slowly trickles down my fictitious heart
Consuming every drop as life falls apart,
Tonight we sing for unholy eyes
Make sure to listen for the sound that dies,
Moving forward using all my love
Sinking to heaven, gazing above,
Our devotion, now six feet under
I hear what’s inside, the crashing of thunder,
You’ve taken the pain and all that is white
It makes you glow, it makes you bright,
Even in all evil essence, dark needs to shine
Please save the drowning entity, it’s all mine,
You took away all the pain,
Now watch me go instantly insane.