What do I do about our confusing friendship?

ok..Lets see...I really dont even know where to begin but I wll try to make this is shrot and as clear as possible...ALright me and this other girl (and I am a girl) have been haveing sexual realtions for a years now and dont get me wrong I like it and all and it is gettting deeper, but I am embarassed we will get caught so I tend not to enjoy it as much btu anyway some things have been going on and we are so far into that we said we are not allowed to date others only emial and text no dates unless it is us to together...BUT I just dont get it we arent supoosed to anything but when we both a guy friend over it is fine that we have sex or whatever...but that aint right how it is all working?...and when guys want me to talk to them or whatever I cant tell them the real reason why not because all of them just htink me and her are best friends and that is it. SO here come the question...We say that we are in love and we want this to keep going on the down low and all but I don't know if I want to anymore...The only reason for this is that this weekend I left town to visit my dad (who is sick) and within the 24 hours that I was gone she thought about cheating TWICE...(at least she told me) but...or is it even called cheating???...I don't know what to do anymore I am so confused about the whole thing and I am still angry which could be a lot of it..and we live in the same house...SO is all this normal or what???and btw she does really good with using a dildo on me and I like it a lot???so now what...bTW I have cheated on her and she has on me but we said that we were never going to again with promises...8( What now

Have you considered going with a guy? Btw she dosen't seem like a nice person, just do what you feel is best.

YUCK...THAT IS GROSS...WELL ALL'S I CAN TELL YOU IS TO SEEK HELP