What else is he going to throw at me?

Well if any of you have read any of my other questions you know that my husband decided on Wednesday that he wanted out of our marriage, then on Friday I found out that he was seeing someone else. Now tonight he gets home from being with her and tells...

me that he's decided to try to work things out with us. How do I do that? I know that for my kids it would be best to work things out but how do I get over the h*ll he put me through? How do I get over knowing that he had a girlfriend? How do I get past my hurt and resentment for him? How do I help my kids to understand all this?

What I'm going to say is from a non-involved viewpoint, emotionally, that is... I'm also old, and have been married for 20+ years.

DO NOT believe him today...it's going to take a long time of him being wide open with you... about where he is, who he's with, and what he's doing. His little fun and games cost him every bit of trust you had in him...once busted it takes a long time to build back.

He's already proved he's a liar and cheat...that doesn't mean he'll always be one, but for now, he starting at the bottom...you are not obligated to believe anything that he says...for all you know, he and his girlie friend had a fight...and it'll blow over two days from now.

For yourself and your kids...put on your best poker face, and tell him that it's either counseling together, starting next week, or he needs to move out. This is NOT a time to show weakness...desparation. He needs to know you mean business...and you do, don't you?? (Men have a sixth sense about game playing...so make sure you're serious). He's not going to be popping in and out your home like cuckoo, evertime his p*cker gets hard...right? Forgiveness is divine...I'll go along with that...but I've seen many men see forgiveness that comes to quick, as permission to do their thing again...

Many, many couples have lived thru this scenerio, and many have come out the other side better for it...but it takes time...it takes work...it takes love...and all of these have to be mutual.

Be strong, you're in the position right now to negotiate his return...so do it. You'll see soon enough, if what he's saying today, is in fact, what he really feels...

granny phrannie

Sounds like you should just leave him, you have to be willing to forgive him if you want your marriage to continue. It does not seem like you are willing to forgive him at this point.

ok, can I say, it sounds like he's realised that the grass isn't so green?

if your kids would like you to work it out, then it's your call, but don't feel guilty about saying 'no'.

from what I read, your kids arn't so easily fooled. what you need to do right now is think, #hang on, yes I'm a stay at home mum, but do I really want this?'

do you really want to be with a man that clearly doesn't know what he wants and can disregard what he has so easily?

remember above all, you are the biggest example to your children, your a stay at home mum, so your a good influence already (I'm not, I'm a 31 uni student who works - I'm only saying that so I don't get an ear bashing!) but you are doing everything you think right now, and this man has chosen to 'taste' something else.

what you realy need to ask yourself is...
do I really want' need this man?
is he being the best example of a man?
can I ever trust him again, honestly?

you need to think seriously about these things. there is always a way when there is a will. if you want to be with him for the right reasons then fine. but if they're out of convininece, then that's not right.

you know what you want to do, honestly, as a single and married mum, you know in your gut...but there is only one person who can really answer this. your kids are old enough to realise whats going on or at least how it's affecting them...talk to them, ask them...becuase no matter what you do, you will want the support and understanding of those REALLY involved.
xcx

If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have cheated.