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What do you think of this?

Halloween. Asked by underwaterophelia 7 months ago, 8 answers.

pens write with ink

no. no that's not right.
Not now that I think about it.
Pens write with blood or gray matter or spit
That is incarnated into ink
it's transubstantiation, silly

I dropped my bottle
The ink spreads not so slowly
Over this page and over onto my fingers
My desk, my dog, my carpet, my ceiling
Onto you
I'm sorry, I stained your pants
This kind of ink doesn't come out.
And with a little bit of
Hi, nice to meet you
You're all smeared and stained up

So tell me what you think, please.
Obviously, don't just make pointless comments, and try not to say 'it's good' or 'it's bad.'
I don't mind if you like it or hate it, but try to be constructive.

Send this to a friend

This is Me Answered by darkwolfgirl240 on Dec 30, 2007, 03:22PM
| 408 answers.

Creative and unique very well done and thoughtful Like a spider sippting tea I loved it

looking rather.. strange XD Answered by stellaapplemoor on Dec 30, 2007, 03:26PM
| 838 answers.

Wow everyone's submitting poems today hehe =]

It's really great - I like the whole extended metaphor to it. I love it.. I keep on reading it over and over again to fully get it.. Well done =]

xxx

the fairest in all the land Answered by sikashimmer on Dec 30, 2007, 03:30PM
| 3529 answers.

I really like it.
only one line through me off ''The ink spreads not so slowly ''
for some reason it seems out of place to me. Like you have the terrific beat going throughout the whole thing and that one line is different

:] Answered by faggette_7 on Dec 30, 2007, 03:41PM
| 235 answers.

your so g00d :]

Halloween. Answered by underwaterophelia on Dec 30, 2007, 03:42PM
| 1157 answers.

Thank you very much!

And to Sika, what about that line don't you like? Do you feel it disturbs the rhythm?

hello Answered by yukidokiyumyum on Dec 31, 2007, 11:12PM
| 36 answers.

CAN YOU STOP WASTING PEOPLES TIME PLEASE

THANX BABE

RACIST TO MEXICANS TO HEY ?

| 0 of 1 thought this was helpful

Halloween. Answered by underwaterophelia on Jan 01, 2008, 05:58PM
| 1157 answers.

What the hell?

I see.....laundry detergent!! Answered by jello on Apr 06, 2008, 07:03PM
| 697 answers.

I really liked the first stanza but the rest didnt really appeal to me

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