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Creative and unique very well done and thoughtful Like a spider sippting tea I loved it
Wow everyone's submitting poems today hehe =]
It's really great - I like the whole extended metaphor to it. I love it.. I keep on reading it over and over again to fully get it.. Well done =]
xxx
I really like it.
only one line through me off ''The ink spreads not so slowly ''
for some reason it seems out of place to me. Like you have the terrific beat going throughout the whole thing and that one line is different
Thank you very much!
And to Sika, what about that line don't you like? Do you feel it disturbs the rhythm?
CAN YOU STOP WASTING PEOPLES TIME PLEASE
THANX BABE
RACIST TO MEXICANS TO HEY ?
I really liked the first stanza but the rest didnt really appeal to me





What do you think of this?
pens write with ink
no. no that's not right.
Not now that I think about it.
Pens write with blood or gray matter or spit
That is incarnated into ink
it's transubstantiation, silly
I dropped my bottle
The ink spreads not so slowly
Over this page and over onto my fingers
My desk, my dog, my carpet, my ceiling
Onto you
I'm sorry, I stained your pants
This kind of ink doesn't come out.
And with a little bit of
Hi, nice to meet you
You're all smeared and stained up
So tell me what you think, please.
Obviously, don't just make pointless comments, and try not to say 'it's good' or 'it's bad.'
I don't mind if you like it or hate it, but try to be constructive.