honestly I write flows all the time and alls I can say is your trying to hard. it sound like your trying to be a prisoner.
try loosing up and rap about personal experiences. hmh comment me if you want any ideas people tell me im really good.
another thing is try not to put your lyrics all over the web someone might steal them.
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What do you think of my chorus for my rap ?
 



What do you think of my chorus for my rap ?
The cops want me off the streets they'd like nuttin better than to click those chains round my feet
I know that someones a snitch we made a pack'd we'd help each other out a ditch you know who you are f**k you bi*ch
Come lock me up if you want to af...
got nuttin better to do you'd be better off too
But my homes in rap no mattes what you do al always come back
Al always write rhymes what do you say to that I love rap .
Its stil a work in progress and im nt sur if I should use it what do you think about it be truthful peace.