What am i supposed to do?

ok...I dont' know what to do. One of my best friends cuts and she over doses at least once a week. She doesn't take something that can really kill her but its just the fact that it makes her feel better. I'm the only one that knows this...well, her...

family does to but they don't care about her one bit and just tell her why would you do this to our family. they don't do a thing about it. and I don't know what to do...I'm always there for her and supporting her and helping her through anything but I just don't know what else to do.
Then my other good friend is going through a real hard time and she has been admitted into the psych ward and I just want to be there for her but I don't know whats going on or what to do to help her. I would do anything to help her but I don't want to push my limits. I just feel lost and want to help and I don't know what to do for her.
I myself am slowly over coming anorexia and my weights fine now but I absolutely hate myself. I hate the person I have become. I cut...hips, thighs...wrists. My mom saw the first cut but I promised to never do it again so she doesn't know about all the other times. I over dose too...I alwasy end up just throwing up so my parents don't suspect anything. I just say I don't feel well and they just think it is a little flu or something. but thats been going on since june so not too long.
I'm just lost and confused and I hate myself and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help my friends or what to do. I just don't know how to help or be there for them or anything.

You poor thing
I'm really sorry to hear all that and it sounds like your going through a lot, more than anyone should have to go through.. The best thing I can suggest is, talking to someone, anyone.. A councelor, your mom a friend that can be there for you. When your feeling that down and depressed the best thing you can do is let it all out. I understand some of the things you are going through, for one with your first friend you talked about, if her parents truely don't care you need to tell someone that does care and could help.. your second friend, just keep being there for them because there's really not much more you can do if they're already accepting help.. and lastly with all this going on, its important to make some time for yourself because you are an important person even if it doesnt feel that way right now, I suggest getting a journal and righting all your feelings down and take some time to do things that make you happy.. Sometimes being with your two friends who seem to be down a lot can really bring you down too so be with some people who are happy and try to realize that you really are something special.. I'm really sorry and I hope I was a little help.. I know you don't know me but if you ever need someone to talk to about this or anything, feel free! Feel better

wow, it's tough I know, I'm not anorexic or having friend trouble but everything else is the same, um I think before you help it friends, try to help yourself , you then would be better off helping them. And right now all you can do is stay by them and let them know you love them and that they mean a whole lot to you, let them know you understand, possibly tell them your going through sumthing similar.. Try to write down ways going on and what bugs you or listen to music.. Or talk to sumone.. It helps me the most... I hope things get better for u...
I'm seconding what sickk123 said about you can always talk to me even though you don't know me...

I have 9 months time clean and sober for the first time in my entire life, so I know a little bit about this area, but I also have sooo much to learn as well. I have no authority to tell anyone how they should feel or be, so I'll share what I've experienced, and hope it helps in some small way. I turned to so many things outside of myself, always trying to fill that hole inside of myself. I call it a hell-hole, because no matter what I did, how I hurt myself or acted out against myself, or what substance, like drugs or alcohol, in excessive amounts at times, trying one after the other, could fill it, because it is a hole with no bottom. The bottom would have been a graveyard for me, because nothing fixed the pain I felt for very long. Sure, I numbed for a while, but after time, it took more and more, and then that didn't even help. My life became completely unmanageable, but I was the last to see it. I didnt know where to turn, what to do. Hopeless, helpless, dispair, fear,and darkness filled my soul. Then, I could't even look in the mirror anymore...my eyes were flat and soulless. I didn't want to live like this anymore, but addiction had me cornered. It is a LIAR. It wants to take my life; told me that was the only way out. I remember the moment of truth...LIVE or DIE! Somewhere deep inside of me I realized I was done with all of this. I dropped to my knees and cried out GOD HELP ME! I couldnt do it alone. I searched everywhere, tried everything, yet no answers could be found to stop the pain. I asked my Mom to drive me to a rehab center, where I had to go thru detox, and slowly start to relearn a NEW way of thinking and living. I also joined Narcotics Anonymous, whichis a free anonymous program that is helping me along my journey of recovery. I SURRENDERED that day, and became OPENMINDED and WILLING to try a new way to live. Thats all it takes. Everything I needed has to grow from WITHIN, as I'm learning. Who knew? Hope this helps. Take care, God bless.

I haven't gone through what you are going through, one can only imagine what you are going through. Like the two previous advisers had answered try taking care of yourself first then your friends. As for you I suggest you should start talking to a counselor as soon as you can, because the more you let out to someone the better you will be. and as for your friends I suggest you urge them to also see a counselor and if they don't want to I hate to tell you this but you have to be the tattle teller. it may make you look like a snitch, but in the end you will have two of your friends side by side with you and not in the graveyard. Good luck I'll pray for you and I hope that God should get you through it all.

about what awesomeness16 said about tattle telling I tollay understand that part, I once had a friend too awhile ago who cut herself and finally I told a councelor and she got the help she needed, at first she was angry with me but after two years, she thanked me so as hard as it is you need to do what's best for your friends and in the end, they will understand

 
About your friends, all you can do is give them moral support and let them know that you are willing to help them overcome their problems.

BUT, more important is YOU. You need to solve your own problems before you can really be of much help to them.

You are at an age where hormones, emotions and even your brain are undergoing strong changes. It is natural to occasionally feel confused or depressed.

The best thing you can do is to talk to a counselor or therapist. Barring that, find someone you can communicate your emotions and thoughts with, sort of like a sounding board. Keeping your thoughts to yourself doesn't help. If you can't find someone around you then consider Fun Mailing someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like. It's relatively private and gives you a good sounding board.


Check out the link below for information on teen depression.


Information on teen depression:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm


If you are having problems or are depressed, below are a couple of sites that may help you:


Worldwide:


Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.

http://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp


In the U.S.A., you also have access to:


Boys Town National Hotline

Call With Any Problem, Any Time

1-800-448-3000

http://www.boystown.org/hotline/index.asp


Fun Mail a sounding board!


I would assume that you can't talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don't want others to know about it in relation to you.

The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone's advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a sounding board and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn't have any concerns about your privacy.

Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I'd suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don't contact them by that Ask me a question link. That's public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the Send me Fun Mail link on the left side of the page.)

You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the Send me Fun Mail link near the top of the Answer under the person's name.

 
Do you WANT to stop cutting? Then check out this site:

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Self_Injury/BloodRed/stop/index.html

Please check out the three links below. They are from my Group and provide information concerning anorexia both first from an anorexic's point of view then from sites with appropriate information plus information on bulimia:

Anorexia http://www.funadvice.com/group/ethmer/22930

Anorexia followup http://www.funadvice.com/group/ethmer/22931

Bulimia http://www.funadvice.com/group/ethmer/23470
 

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        And maybe lessen the cares in your way;
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