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There is no religion that is right or wrong. Your opinions are not right or wrong. Religion is just something to believe in--ultimately, all religion leads to a belief in a higher power (or powers) of some sort. You don't sound like an atheist--it sounds like you believe in SOMETHING, which would make you an agnostic.
If you want to find a religion that suits you, I suggest researching different religions, visiting various areas of worships and praying. Even if you don't find a religion that fits you perfectly (which I doubt you will, as it's hard to find a religion that suits every little thing you believe in), there is nothing wrong with not being religious. In fact, being spiritual is just as fulfilling. 
Religion is something one has to follow to find solace when one is disturbed and unhappy. It should make a person calm and peaceful when he turns to that religion and not fanatic and ready to do or die type. All religion which are person oriented I.e. where the origin was a living person who has been made a ' worshippable ' in today's context then that religion is bound to lead to conflict with other religions which are also based on some personality because there is always a clash between personalities. So follow someting which believes not in one personality but one God.
Simple: a person either believes the Bible is the actual true and infallible word of God or not - one accepts it's message or rejects it's message - their choice - nothing to do with how one 'feels' - simple as that, not hard.
I was once where you are so I sympathize. I think the journey is more important than the destination. The struggles you are going through now are causing you to grow as a person. When you consider the doctrines of religions and the actual works of their believers, you can see that it's not really that simple. Life is a struggle to find out what's right and how best to do right. Don't let your doubt get you down - it's a sign of maturity and courage.
Your blog sounds like where I was before I began to realize that I was giving special deference to the concept of gods that I do not give to the concept of leprechauns or fairies.
There's a tendency to *want* some sort of objective purpose to life, which I think is why even people who intellectually realize the idea of gods is just silly, still ponder it.
I think this blog post is intelligent and thought-provoking. Your phrase 'status-quo kind of deal' particularly struck a chord with me. I disagree with some of your conclusions because I'm a Christian, but I agree that the human tendency to seek power and control in any circumstances (religion amongst others) does lead to the doctrine you described as 'believe what I do or you'l die a horrible death'.
I suppose my difference with you is that I see this approach to religion as the result of human weakness, and I have found Jesus to be quite the opposite - counter-cultural and subversive in his teaching and his behaviour. I also find that God's acceptance of us as His children isn't to do with us trying to conform to ridiculous standards (again the product of human judgmentalism) but instead to be about accepting the privilige of a relationship with the creator of the universe. It's a good deal from my point of view, as long as we can keep the 'human error' from twisting it yet again.
Religion is a confusing issue, and an interesting one. I'm an atheist, but I study religion all the time because it's an important part of human life.
I like what you wrote in your blog. It's honest, and it shows that you are really thinking about these things instead of just accepting what other people are telling you, for the most part. And I also agree with eleni, that doubt is not a thing to be feared, it should be embraced. You won't get to the truth of anything unless you can first admit you don't really know.
This is a quote from my favorite movie, Dogma.
---
Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, 'Through the Looking Glass'. That poem, 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, 'Do it - Do it and I'll f*ckin' spank you. '
God bless you honey... for being honest... (((Hugs)))
I completely understand where you are coming from... If I was not a Christian, and was a young person... wowow.. I can't even imagine what that would be like right now...
I admire your courage... in trying to find the truth... just keep trying.. and you will...
Jesus said to seek, and ye shall find... knock, and the door shall be opened...
That is a process... and it takes time...
While you are looking, how about reading the book of John, in the bible???
And remember, that Christianity is not about rules and regulations.. if you get stuck there.. you have missed the whole point... which is a personal relationship with...
Jesus.
He is very real, and will become real to you, if you seek him.
His words can come alive on the pages...
He can speak to you, thru those pages...
He loves you and understands what you are going thru...
I will pray that you find peace in him...
And that you come to know that his way is true.
If I can be of any help... please funmail me anytime...
God bless you...





What do you think of my religion blog post?
the following is a blog I posted:
RELIGION...
Current mood: confused
Ok some of you may know that Im not the most religious person. In fact Im almost an atheist. Anyway, I just wanted to share my views on religion. Well, frankly I think that religions (all of them really except budism as far as I can tell) have become just a status quo type of deal. For example, 'believe in what I do or youll die a horrible death'. Now isnt that why there is so much conflict in the middle east (and worldwide when you think of it)! Oh Im so confused...
I believe that the gods (whoever he/she may be) intended for us all to just be generally good people (not perfect or living by any ridiculous standards). If we are truely these gods' children, we should all deserve to be taken under his wing as a 'father/mother' regardless of our human-like mistakes, our concientious (yes I cant spell) choices,and yes our vices, virtues or whatever is in our minds at birth!
PS:IF ANY RELIGIOUS OR NON-RELIGIOUS PEOPLE (OF ANY GROUP) HAVE A 'BONE TO PICK' WITH ME OR REALLY ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO SAY (NO CONVERTING PLEASE) THAN JUST MESSAGE ME.
Oh and of course: have a wonderful day!
---Mary/vulture of culture ()
[there was a devil emoticon in the last parentheses if that matters]
since this has to be a question:
What do you think?