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Virgin or not?

me and my boyfriend Asked by trishtran091 18 days ago, 5 answers.
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My ex and I used to have oral sex and he finger me but we didnt have intercourse. And me and my boyfriend been dating for over 4month now then 2day ago we have intercourse sex and he feel down there and tell me that im not a virgin...im not sure if you can lose your virgin by fingering or not...can someone tell me please. Thx!

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Yellow Flower Answered by col_vil on Jul 16, 2008, 09:43PM
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He needs to be able to trust you. You know your experiences. If you tell him and you tell him the truth and he chooses not to believe you, there is nothing you can do about that. It all depends on how you and your partner define virginity. Read this article, which states in the strictest sense, unless you have actual intercourse, you are still a virgin.

What does it mean to lose your virginity? ...

In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you've had sexual intercourse with the member of the opposite sex. But this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. While the social policy makers look to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships, maybe it is time we also revisited what it means to be a virgin.

When we think of virgins, we think of 'white wedding innocents' who define sex as a synonym for gender. But the fact is, the standard definition of virginity lets you get away with having a lot of different kinds of sex was still being able to call yourself a virgin. In theory, under the traditional definition of virginity, someone who is homosexual can have sex every day and still be a virgin. Someone who has oral sex regularly is also still a virgin. Does that really make sense? Something is a miss!

The whole narrow definition of virginity is in desperate need of a rewrite. Who better to do it than the first generation of new millennium teens? What does 'losing your virginity' mean to you? Is it a state of mind or a specific act? Is it something that can be taken from you, or does it only count if you willingly give it away? When does 'fooling around' end and 'having sex' begin?

When considering 'the new definition', think about these situations and ask yourself how they fit in to the meaning of virginity.

Is someone who is raped or molested no longer a virgin?
Is actual intercourse the only act that counts when determining ones virginity?
If you willingly engage in other intimate sexual acts but do not have intercourse, is it fair to still consider yourself a virgin?
How would you define losing your virginity if you were/are homosexual or bisexual?
Is being a virgin based on your feelings, what you do, or is it a combination of both?
Is there an emotional component to losing your virginity, meaning if you have sex but don't feel anything is different about you, does it count?
Is the current definition of virginity, and all the social stigma attached to it, biased toward girls? Is this right?
Does the current definition of virginity exclude homosexuals? Is this right?
Is virginity subjective (based on how the individual views themselves and what they do) or objective (how the situation is viewed by others on the outside)?
Formulate a definition and then share it with others, let's see what we can come up with.

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Comment for copa_town_hooligans's profile Answered by xxxgizmo13xxx on Jul 16, 2008, 08:46PM
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Don't let him tell you what you are or are not! Some women have wideset vaginas. Yes your hymen can break during fingering but that doesn't mean you're not a virgin if you don't have your hymen. I'm pretty sure I don't have mine. I've been hit in the crotch so many times from abuse, karate, bike riding, riding horses, skateboarding, I'm shocked that I still have it.

Answered by angelfire2708 on Jul 16, 2008, 09:42PM
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Your boyfriend acts like he knows it all, but he doesnt! He cant tell by 'feeling'! You are no longer a virgin since you had intercourse, but you were before that. So tell him its really none of his business if you were or werent!

diy metallica dress Answered by jazlovestoskate on Jul 17, 2008, 01:11AM
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if youve had intercourse then your not
but your hymen can break from things like fingering
toys, tampons, sport, horseriding ect
sex isnt the only thing that will break your hymen
but if youve had orla sex and dint use protection
then you could still have an sti or std
if you or him wewre sexually active before that, or had a cold sore, ect

Answered by babygirl3 on Jul 23, 2008, 01:56PM
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YES THE ONLY WAY YOUR NOT A VIR IS WHEN YOUR CHERRY POPS OR HYMEN BREAKS YOUR BOYFRIENT COULD OF BROKE IT BY FINGERING U

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me and her am too fat haha This is her love SHUT THE HELL UP and be quiet