Unfit mother & child custody

My boyfriend has a child who is 2 years old. He is staying with his grandmother right now until my boyfriend gets off house arrest and can take full custody of him. My boyfriend his baby's mom do not have a relationship anymore because she is not a...

good mom. She has a history of drug use and other unresponsible things. My boyfriend got out of jail in Dec 07 has shown up to court for drug test passed every time. The mother on the other hand has not shown up for ANY drug test! The court has awarded the grandmother guardian custody until my boyfriend can get off provide for his son completely. the mother can NOT be alone with the child more than 3 hours. This past month or so... we have a feeling she is now living at home with her mother the child. This worries us because we know of her past don't want him around that. Today my boyfriend called the case worker who worked on the last custody found out that the mother is trying to take full custody of the child! Is this possible??? The grandmother has known from day 1 that my boyfriend has plans to buy a home take his son full custody as soon as he gets off. To find out they are going behind his back to try to get the mother full custody is ridiculous! Is there anything I can do? We can do? Doesn't she have to prove that she is clean can take on the responsiblity of the child. She doesn't even have a job I am sure she doesn't have money saved up either! I am extremely worried for the child! I love him to death have completely accepted him as my own! My boyfriend has 3 months left of house arrest, works a full time job, makes great money, has money saved up for a home, still can pass drug test! Please someone help!!!

Sounds to me like your boyfriend needs to see a lawyer.
(YOU can't do anything because you have no legal standing. Except stand by your boyfriend, and help him stay off drugs.)
I wasn't much help, but maybe an idea or two? Just saying...
Good Luck!!

First and foremost... there are two sides to every story. While I am not saying the mother is not involved in anything she should not be... LOL My ex husband went around telling people I beat my daughter, I was on drugs.. etc. And I won sole custody.

However, I am clean, I at the time did not own a home and was still in school for my degree... but I still won.

You cannot legally do anything as you have no legal ties.

Your boyfriend however is in for a long road as here is what he faces:

- Has the mother been in jail? They will take notice that he was in jail.

- Does the mother have any drug convictions, or is there proof she was on drugs?

In a custody battle word of mouth is not admissable. You have to have actual and factual proof to back up your claims.

- More often than not, the court usually does award custody to the mother as its believed that is where the child belongs. Joint custody is quite common, and then my only other question would be - does he have any visitation rights, because if he does not and the mother does - he's out.

Well, there is nothing you can do, your boyfriend however needs to get a lawyer. If she tries to get full custody then there will be a hearing and she most prove that she is a fit parent (having a house that she owns is not needed, she only needs a place to live in that the child will be safe in). Your boyfriend and his lawyer however will have to prove (without a doubt) that she is still using or doing irresponsible things.

Since your boyfriend has shown up for all drug tests and court dates it will look good for him but he will still have to fight. As for the grandmother, do you know that she could possibly get into trouble for letting her daughter move back in when she's not allowed to have unsupervised visitation for more than 3 hours? Maybe someone needs to bring the courts attention to that (a lawyer would do that for you).

Above all else, make sure that your boyfriend is prepared for a fight, it could get dirty but in the end it would be well worth it.

Good luck

Maybe one day you will have children of your own, then you will undrestand better the sacred bond of mother and child.

floridaisnotsofun how could you be so mean? I have 4 kids and I am VERY aware of the bond of mother and child BUT my husband ALSO has a bond. Its very UNFAIR for you to disregard her b/f feelings. He may have had a rough past but people CHANGE. Being a mother doesn't make you the better parent. Sounds like you have an issue with men, get over yourself!