Trust, jealousy, and insecurity

OK, here's my situation... I am living with my girlfriend and for the most part things are going good. However, I have some serious trust issues because when the relationship began I was lied to and cheated on. She was living with another guy, but he paid her almost no attention whatsoever. When I caught her in this lie, I brought him (her ex) to our house and confronted her, well as it turns out, he wasn't paying her any attention, and even he admited it. She had been living with me for almost a month before all of this blew up and he never once came to see her new place at all. Well, at the time I told her it would be a long time before I could trust her and it's been almost 5 months and I still find myself questioning everthing she does. Now I know this isn't fair to her, and I know if I can't learn to trust her then we have nothing, but I can't seem to move on, no matter how badly I want to trust her. I find myself picking through everything she says and looking for lies. If there is even the slightest question, my mind instantly goes to the worst possible scenario.
I don't want to lose a good thing, and she is a good person, but I really need help moving past this. Any suggestions?

I have the same problem with my b/f. I question him all the time. but all I can say is if you have been asking and she hasnt done anything recently then the only thing for you to do is to trust her now.

I have the same problem with my b/f. I question him all the time. but all I can say is if you have been asking and she hasnt done anything recently then the only thing for you to do is to trust her now.

I have the same problem with my b/f. I question him all the time. but all I can say is if you have been asking and she hasnt done anything recently then the only thing for you to do is to trust her now.

sorry bout the 3 thingys

Hi. I went through the same thing with my ex, yeah my ex. Everything he said I questioned and questioned and didnt trust him AT ALL! It came to the point where I was going out of my mind with him that I just ended it. Its been a month and I've got NO progress with this 'moving on thing'. If I learned anything from this...it's....People always say 'follow your heart' but sometimes you have to work with your heart and brain together.

This is why its important in a relationship to always be honest and commuicate because you never know if that person is 'the one' I honestly think you will never get over this issue with her and even though she maybe a good person, its going to be always in the back of your mind that she did this to you and cheating is a big thing I have been where you are and you want to let it go because its a nice person at times, but when you are in a relationship like that you can't see outside that relationship bubble and you arn't going to listen to what anyone has to say about it, you will continue to date her and it will continue to eat at you. But in my opinion I wouldn't let anyone get away with cheating, I would dump her like yesterday. But thats all in my opinion on the matter. You have probably heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater, well its true.

Jason

same prob here im still with my boyfriend and I question him a lot but were in love and very happy but if the issue ever gets brought up I break down crying but he helps me through it I dont know how she cheated on you but my boyfriend kissed a girl and I found out and its been 11 months or so and nothings happened since. I try to trust him but I know it will never be the same

Talk to your girlfriend about how you feel maybe you can figure things out together. If she cheated on you, chances are, she will do it again. Once trust is broken, it is very hard to get it earn it back again. It takes a lot of work, on both sides.

I've been in that situation and was with my ex that I dated for two years. the trust issue only got worse. Things will never be the same. there will always be that suspicion and that weight on your shoulders, so I think you should seriously think hard about staying with her or not. She cheated on you, thats so hurtful and disrespectful, and now look at the stress you deal with everyday. It may never go away.

Hey guys and gals, I appreciate your comments and I am hearing what you have to say, but I guess I'm not to a point to where I'm ready to throw in the towel just yet. I have spoke with her many times about all of this and it typicaly leads to an out and out argument. Does anyone have anysuggestions for me to help me move past the questioning of everything she does without being so afraid of getting my heart ripped apart one more time?