Trouble showing i care

I have been going out with a guy for about nine months now, and we have an awesome relationship. We hang out with eachother all the time and just have fun. Well, when we#039;re alone, I am affectionate and I show him how much I care-holding hands,...

sitting close, kissing, etc. But recently, he has expressed to me that I he thinks I#039;m embsarassed of him. I am not the type of girl to hang all over a boyfriend in pulic, and by not hanging on him, he thinks I#039;m embarassed of him. He won#039;t tell me how he WANTS me to act, because he thinks I shouldn#039;t have to be told, I should just do it. I really love him, and I don#039;t want to lose him, but I don#039;t know how to show him that I truly care about him and that I am not embarassed of him at all. Help!!!

Sounds like the honeymoon is over. And that#039;s not a bad thing. The hormones that attract and keep you there for the honeymoon are needed, but now the real love can begin.

You are two individual people and you will now find out things that are different about you [in the honeymoon it#039;s only about how much a like you are]. Of course there are going to be some waves when two individuals come together to make one life together.

So now you and your boyfriend need to #039;manage#039; your problem. He wants you to be more demonstrative in public, you are comfortable only doing that when alone. So can you inconvenience yourself FOR HIM and hold his hand? That#039;s compromise. A kiss here and there. But where your compromise must stop is when you are at a place you just don#039;t want to go. Say he wants you to hand all over him--but that#039;s too far for you. Then, don#039;t. You can#039;t lose yourself as a person and keep him. He#039;ll have to understand you#039;ve compromised some, but will not go further.

And BF if he cares will inconvenience himself and what he wants to understand this about you.

And as far as the BF thinking you are embarrassed by him. Well, that sounds like a self-esteem problem within him. You#039;ve told him you care, you#039;ve showed him [when alone]you care, you may even compromise and hold hands in public. If he continues to think that you don#039;t care after all that--it#039;s about him.

And he#039;s doing you and him a dis-service by NOT telling you exactly what he wants and what he#039;s talking about. Does he believe you are a mind reader? I#039;m sure you#039;ve told him you are not. Withholding that info sounds like some kind of control game. What in the world does he think he#039;s gaining? If you knew what he wanted--you#039;d already be DOING it or TALKING about it.

If he has an esteem problem then nothing you do to show him you love him will be enough. But it#039;s early and we#039;ll hope it is not that.

Tell him you have to talk--again. And if he#039;s not willing to talk, not willing to tell you what he wants, then it sounds like he doesn#039;t really care about you or your relationship enough.

Good luck and blessings