I want my ex-boyfriend to be happy

David is his name. I met him for the first time when we started secondary school together. We were put into the same teaching group. We were both in year 7 and both 11 years old. I had my small group of girlfriends in the teaching group and he had his...

boyfriends in the teaching group. David would never talk me in class but I noticed he would sit in class staring at me. He asked me for my mobile number with in the first week of year 7. Every night david would text me or call me. He became a great friend to talk to, although we never spoke in class, s he was to embarrassed to even say hello to me. After a month of year 7 he told me he fancied me. Problem was I just liked him as a friend and nothing more, also I realised we were too young to have a relationship and he just had a crush on me and he would grow out of it like children do. David started to ask me out. I said no for a month or two, but I gave in after a while, decided to say yes to make him happy. Two days later I dumped him, realising I couldn’t date someone I didn’t fancy, it wasn’t fair to mislead him and we were both too young. I didn’t explain this to him, I didn’t give him a reason for dumping him. He was upset, but excepted it quickly and we stayed close friends. A month later he started again and the same thing happened again twice.
By the end of year 7 I realised it wasn’t fair to do it to him. It was confusing him and making him unhappy. I just wanted to be his friend and only agreed to date him to try and make him happy and then dump him realising it was wrong and I couldn’t do it. I should have just explained this to him but being so young I didn’t handle the situation well. I decided to ignore david when I contacted me not to hurt him but I the hope he would cool things off or realise I didn’t fancy him. So we didn’t talk from the end of year 7 till the middle of year 8 at christmas time. He text me wishing me a merry christmas and I decided to reply. I missed talking to him and hoped by now he would be over me. We got close again texting every day after school and although he didn’t ask me out, he made it clear he fancied me still. In the beginning of year 9 when we were both now 13 I got a computer and I started using msn to talk to david. We grow closer and closer. My girlfriends in my teaching group that I had been friends with since year 7 started being nasty to me in year 9 after christmas. I turned to david. David asked me out in march 2007 when we were in year 9 and I agreed to go out with him. I still didn’t fancy him but he fancied me and I was desperate to get away from the girls who were making me miserable. So we started going out and over time her grow on me more and more. I began to have strong feelings for him. When went out from march till september 2007 when we started year ten. In the time we were going out we went out to the cinema, ice skating, going around his house and spending all our free time together. He thought the world of me. We stared to kiss after a month of going out and one thing lead to another round his house quite a few times. We didn’t have sexually intercourse but we did everything we felt ready for (everything but sex.) I told my mum and she was very understanding and although we felt ready we properly should have waited longer. We did have our problems. I was very insecure, I had low self esteem, I was very negative and very miserable all due to my teenage hormones! Not that I understood that at the time and neither did david. It really got david down. He would say things like I love you and you look really pretty today and I would either say something like “you need your eyes tested” or “your just saying that but you don’t mean it.” (throw his compliments back in his face.) I would flirt in front of david to see his reaction, to see if he cared, also for attention. I would also be miserable 24/7 and be moaning about how “bad” my life was. It made david sad to see me unhappy and despite his best efforts to make me happy I would remain unhappy. It was to much for him to cope with. Neither of us understood why I was like it. In september when we started year 10 david finally had enough of me and dumped me. I was to much to handle. I asked him to give me another chance but he said to much had gone on between us since year and he was sick to death of me messing him around. He got a new girlfriend with in two weeks of breaking up with me. It was a secret, nobody knew so knew he wasn’t trying to get back at me or hurt me, but I did manage to find out. He lasted a month with her. Maybe he was on the rebound or really liked her I don’t know. But I do know he asked her out after knowing her for only a day! She didn’t go to my school. Anyway… david and me didn’t talk till the end of october when we both were on msn at the same time. We got talking and got on really well. He asked me to go see something at the cinema with him. I still fancied him, I didn’t know how he felt but I decided I would rather be his best friend than cut him out of my life weather he fancied me or not. After the film he put his arm round me and kissed me on the lips. I thought this is great I stand a chance! After that he went quite for evening. He said it didn’t feel right after everything that happened between us. I was gutted. He said we could stay good friends, he admitted he still fancied me but wanted to move on. After that I never went on msn again. I didn’t want to cut him off, I wanted to be his close friend and show him I had changed but I kept seeing girls names in his screen name and it upset me so I cut him out. At christmas we texted each over saying “happy christmas” then he text me saying “happy new year” and before we went back to school he text me saying “hope you had a lovely holiday bla bla” we had a few convocations by text in january, but never at school. For valentines day I took this photo of smarties in the form of the words “i love you” and sent it to him with my perfume sprayed on it. I wanted him to know it was from me. (I still liked him) anyway…7pm (took him the whole day) david texts me asking why I sent it! I thought to myself “isn’t that obvious?” he just wants me to boost his ego and tell him for a second time in a day that I still have feelings for him. Anyway I told him why I sent it. He replied that we could be friends but never anything more. I kind of gave up then. I march he text me. Something like hi, we haven’t spoken in ages! How are you? Tb x I text back and we had a little chat. That now takes me up to now. That’s my story. I still feel for him so much. I don’t want to get over him. I’ll get over him in my own time. I just want him back! Any ideas!!! Does anyone think from all this I have a hope of getting him back? I keep thinking well if he didn’t care for me then why would he text me? He keeps texting me for little chats now and again. I never text him first because I don’t want to be the annoying ex girlfriend, I want him to have space so he can move on if that what he wants. I want him to be happy. Please help me out guys. Xxx

wow that was a long story!! but I read every word of it, it sounds to me he does want 2 get over you an mayb you should move on? after everything that has gone on between u, I think he has had enough of it all, move on, it will be hard at 1st but trust me, it will all work out in the end, its hard when your trying 2 get over someone, becuase ut hink your worlds ended when that person doesnt want 2 b with u, it hurts, but you gota hold your head up high, take it as an experiance, an thers a reason he never made it 2 your future, good luck, xx

oh geez hun this is pretty much awful!! watch the last kiss its a movie about somethign similar to this. it WILL help you. it helped me. you have to find the strength within yourself and yourself alone to hold on and wait for him. it sounds like you really love him, love like that is rare. dont just throw it away so easily...you only get one first love, one first kiss, and once youve found something that special, you're lifes never the same again. dont give up so easily...

It doesnt matter how old you are, you still experience love the same way. and when your heart is broken, it literally feels that way. this boy is just that; a boy. there are so many things that together you have experienced. maybe a first kiss, first love, first person you give yourself to physically and mentally, or even first real boyfriend. but there has come a time where you may well have to experience your lasts with him. last kiss, last touch, last 'I love you'. its too farcical to say its going to hurt, because sweeheart, its going to kill. and no amount of people telling you that you will be okay is going to help. there is no advice anyone can give, but to tell you that you still have love left to give and that you havent given all of yourself to that one person. that is also not to say that what was given was irrelevant.its huge. its hard to hear something that you dont want to hear. but when this happens, in your best interest you need to help yourself let go and move on. holding onto it only makes you that little bit worse off.its like having a lottery ticket. if you buy it, you automatically think you have a chance, one in a million, to win. if you dont have the ticket, then you dont think about it, and there is no dissapointment when you dont win. if you hold onto a hope such as this, you will always have that hindering thought that you have a one in a million chance, and when you are dissapointed you start again.you also will find it exceedingly hard to be his friend. you might think its easy for me to say all this, to tell you to move on and try not to let the memories get you down, but I can assure you its not.having been through this also, I am still barely alive inside.he still loves me, oh he does, but he doesnt want anything. the best thing I could do was to let him go; he already let me go.know that you are perfect the way you are, that love is a wonderful thing, that life doesnt always turn out the way we want it to, but that things work themselves out. if it wasnt meant to be, then it wont.but that doesnt mean you dont try. its just that when you have exhausted all your resourecs as you have, then there really is no point in persuing it any further. and that will be the hardest thing you will have to do, alongside feeling as though you will never love another the way you loved your first. good luck, and I hope what I have written helps you to help yourself.