The fight (a poem)

Did you really think you could put me down tonight?
I would just lay down and die without a fight?

You pushed me around,
and tried to bury me in the ground.

It takes more than that to win,
espeialy when your fighting against the greatest sin.

I...

am your love, and your hate.
You cant fihgt against fate.

Raw emotions pulse through my veins,
and nothing tastes better than these pains.

Will you fight the end,
you know once you start you cant give in.

This is a fight against life,
against the pain, struggle, and strife.

Fight the world my friend,
I'll see you at the bitter end.

Dude! That is kickass! Goes well with the Metallica I'm listing to!

Glad you enjoyed it.

now this truly is the best I've seen so far on funadvice. kick@ss, though it can use a bit of revising. Try broadening your vocabulary a bit so you don't have to re-use words over(with the exception of the ones that are supposed be of coarse, such as the reframe, or if you choose to expose your theme in such away

This is a fight against life,
against the pain, struggle, and strife.

I believe this stanza will sound better if you flip it
though you would risk running the top line a tad long

You really don't need a coma after and,
however, it would sound better f you took that out
The same with the first time you use it

You pushed me around
And tried to burry me in the ground

You push me around
Tried to burry me in the ground

Greatest sin/Greatest of sin

Raw emotions pulse through my veins,
and nothing tastes better than these pains.
Again, remove the and
Raw emotions pulse through my veins
Nothing taste better than these pains

and I believe can't should be cannot

I am your love, your hate,
You can not fight against fate

it gives it a bit more emphasis, a bit more power to your words

Revise it a bit
It has quite the potential
Well done 1_~