What do you think of my poem?

this is one of my thought of in 4 min poems I think it sux but what do yall think ?

Let the tears fall. Gravel on the ground...
Fall to pieces on the mound
let her cry. Nothing better to do
she dies alone with no one to say goodbye to...
Fall asleep. After crying herself dead...
Making the same statement as she bled...

for once she wanted to go the way.
That would help her fly...away
go around to the place. Where she was loved
but no one was there...It all was shoved
make someone notice, make someone care...
get someone to inspect and repair...

your poems are so depressing!

im sorry? lol I just write how I feel

You could try using more metaphor, or symbols?

yeah I thought of that but I couldnt think of any thing to rhryme to what I wanted to express

Yeah. It's something even I could write when I was sixteen - and that's not a compliment.

I don't write poetry anymore, but I still can tell a good poem from a bad one. This one does suck, sorry.

Are you very fond of using rhyme? If you are and it works for you, that's cool, but I find it can be restricting.

I love your poems! You're really talented

I commented on another one of your poems, and I felt like I could actually relate to it.

Keep up the good work!

eh I love to rhymeing lol its calmning to me because if im like mad I just sit down and right a poem and it comes out in rhyme lol and I know this one sux but I have more that I spend time on I spent at the most like 4 or 5 mins onthis because I was bored lol

heyy your poem is good I luv riting poetry myself I havent in a while butt your good

this one is a bit sadd butt heyy I write how I feel too so I understand

some of your rhymes dont really fit with the poem, like

go around to the place. Where she was loved
but no one was there...It all was shoved

it seems like you put shoved in their just to rhyme with loved and thats not really a good thing to do. It all has to fit together so if you cant find a rhyme that fits with the poem try taking out the line or changing it.

Amazing. I thought it was wonderful, I too, write sad poems. Comment me if you ever want to hear.