Suicidal thoughts

I had a suicidal thought right now for some reason and a tear came out of my eye and my nose started burning and I thought of my lifes worst (which is a lot) and so I grabbed my pillow and stuffed my face in it as long as I could and about 30 secs into it I guess my mom heard the slams of me hitting stuff as I was suffocating and she pulled away the pillow and I said 'I hate you, thank you' and she smacked the crap out of me and I just thought of what my family would do about this and I realized what the HECK WAS I DOING I hadnt thought that much in my life and I just all of a sudden started spazing (having spasms) and my mom just stood there saying get up you iggit I not falling for that and I hurt her I dont know why but now I'm sure she hates me cause she and my dad beat the sh*t out of me. But the real question is ' Was that normal?'

NO WAY AT ALL.

Um no. Get help...

You need to see a professinal

What is the root of your need to act out. Rage? Anxiety? Self Pity? See a counselor if you have been emotional hurt in anyway by anyone.

They don't hate you, you terrified them. There is nothing worse to a parent than thinking that your child's life is so miserable that they think it would be better to kill themselves. Trust me. Go see a counselor or a therapist, let them help you figure out whats going on, then if your parents attitude doesn't change, you can look into that farther with your therapist.

Hmm. Sometimes it feels like you're making things up.