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Stranger

Asked by aquamarine1316 10 months ago, 3 answers.

Just want you to honestly make comments bout my poem, if you like or not. Stuff like that. I know, I write too much poems but that was I love to do. happy Sry it doesnt rhyme, thou.

In the halls,
I talked to my best friend of pale
Stand and look, in...

the same directions

A group of brown walked by
My mouth curled up but their were straight
Cold chills meet my eyes, pure hate

Silence came and everyone froze
I had realize what was going on
The group stepped away, laughing hard
My mouth curled down, smile gone
Tears fell down my cheek, the pain escape

I am a stranger, forgotten
Dont belong to my own place
A digust, traitor
To my own family and race

Answered by iffy on Jan 15, 2009, 04:07PM
299 answers

I like it, but some of the grammar needs to be fixed.

Answered by iinyourdre4ms on Jan 15, 2009, 06:22PM
25 answers

I like it. But the grammar needs to be fixed. (I.E. My mouth curled up but theirS were straight. I had REALIZED what was going on. Tears fell down my cheekS.) Thats all I noticed. Otherwise it was really good.