What do you think of this song I wrote?

hey im pretty not happy at all, I just wrote a song tell me what you think please, some helpful criticism would be nice instead of 'you suck'
...
So pass the bottle of jack
Right this way
Drive through a red light
Like its not worth waiting for
Happy thoughts to drown my heart
To push away all feelings for you

Jack is here to make me better
But you know that scotch is around the corner
Liven up my life with a big ol’ bottle
Close your eyes and full speed on the throttle

So pass the bottle of rum
So I can burry my head
When I know we’re done
Numb my pain and down the hatch
I’ve always had this feeling
That you’d come back

Jack is here to make me better
But you know that scotch is around the corner
Liven up my life with a big ol’ bottle
Close your eyes and full speed on the throttle

Beer ain’t right for me
I need that hard liquor to set me free
Pick me up, slap me down
I’m left with no self-esteem
I can’t turn you down
Some lovely tequila
How ‘bout that sexy vodka
You know I’d be lost with out ya

Whiskey or gin
I won’t mind
just poor me a glass
I’ll take my time
101 turkey
And the ying-yang thang
Hit me up when I’m done
You know I’ll want to bang

Alcohol and sex
It’s always the best
It’s my medicine for you
Especially when you do
Those things you like to do

Jack is here to make me better
But you know that scotch is around the corner
Liven up my life with a big ol’ bottle
Close your eyes and full speed on the throttle

Crystal’s for pussies
And wine ain’t right
Hard liquor for me
With a punch and a fight

Jack’s here to numb my pain
But you know that you’re the one to blame
Liven up my life with speed in the car
A bottle of jack please while I lie on that stretcher

..Sounds like a typical male.
'alcohol and sex it's always the best'

I don't know because you can't hear it!! But the lyrics is ok.

pretty good but a beat would be helpful. I mean the lyrics are awesome!!! but you have no sound so I wonder...

I think you sound like a crazed alcholic, but if thats what you are aiming for its great! =)

ha im not a crazed alcoholic, im just going through a bad break-up, and I dont drink like at all, because I promised that girl to never drink again...but as you can see I really want to!

if I were a typical male, I wouldnt write stuff like this for the girl that I love who treats me like sh!t so...NO I am not a typical male

The light that shines through
Still makes me think of you
The clouds pass by, yet still I cry
Because I can’t help but miss you
The rain pours down, but I’ll never drown
Better then in my own tears
The wind blows by, yet still I cry
God, I wish I were holding you
Lightning strikes and thunder rumbles
But it does nothing to muffle my sorrow
The sun won’t make me smile
Because I’m missing you all the while
The grass grows green, yet still I dream
That you’ll be with me again
Storms rush in, and people still sin
But I’ll always be praying for you
The light of day, would simply fade away
If not for what you do
The days go by, yet still I try
Only now I wish I were dying
I’m that day, that passes you by
No more do I wish to feel this way and cry
The snow shines down, white and pure
Just like this love, of that I’m sure
The sky turns black, and faces look back
To hear his final goodbye
But as it was said, I still wish to try
Because for you, I’d rather wait and die

Man some of these songs are good, hit me up if your a song writer, I can help out, I've written like 10 songs

WOW you have a great talent