Song i write

I just wrote a song and I just wanted to know if it was good or doe it need work... Thanks

Torn

[intro]
Im spilling my heart out for you,
And it feels like its torn.
I would not know what to do,
If you were not born.

[v1]
I cant stand...

this pain im feeling,
Cause my heart has gone for you.
My heart will never be heeling,
Its been torn into two.

[chorus]
I gave my heart to you my true love,
Cause you fly over me like a dove.
You have torn my heart in two,
Now I am feeling so deeply blue.

[v2]
I have falling for you over again,
But you will never love me like that.
I hope youll see I love you more like a sin,
But right now I am dying were I sat.

[chorus]
I gave my heart to you my true love,
Cause you fly over me like a dove.
You have torn my heart in two,
Now I am feeling so deeply blue.

[bridge]
You always deserve the best,
And that should be me.
But you love him more I guess,
So thats the way it will be.

[v3]
Without you I feel lonely,
And you dont really care.
Im just thinking about you and me,
But you love him and give me a stare.

well the songs about a guy spilling his heart out to the girl he loves but she loves him as a friend and loves someone else too

I thought it was gooD! nice job. you r gonna wanna put a beat 2 I tand everything...

Some spelling errors, but other than that, it's good.
Sort of reminds me of 'Until The Day I Die'- Story Of The Year.
Which, is an amazing song if you haven't ever heard it...

thanks im trying to make this sound like Bullet For My Valentine

oh my friend and I fixed the V2 its now

[v2]
I have falling for you over again,
But you will never love me like that.
I'm feeling sadder than I've ever been,
all I want is for you to be back.

wonder who its for hehe jkjk

I LOVE it a lot hehe good improvements lol

love it lots!!! haha

that is amazing :D

Love it! haha well, I love everything but that doesnt matter. haha Still I love it and it really good. Youre kinda better than me but then again, mabie im better than you. haha jkjk Still, again, love it.