What if I'm in love with a married man?

I have been involved with the same guy for 3 years. He is married; I am single. He insists that we have a 'connection' that is unbreakable for him and meaningful and pursues me when we are apart. I can't seem to break it off and make it stick. And I don't know why I can't. He is the most frustrating 'lover' one can imagine. He will not say I love you; he thinks buying me a pack of gum is just as good as a real present; and he acts as though it is perfectly natural and should be thrilling to me to have his physical presence in my bed once a week for 2 hours. Yet the last time he wanted to come over to talk---after we had been broken up for 4 weeks--we did not end up in bed. He said he had plans for the weekend (Sundays is our day) and did not come over or call. Monday--he was over for 45 minutes; cancelled Wednesday and has not offered to come over since. But he expects to call Sunday and come over and make love to me.
It's like a marriage without the living together---the same small gestures that are supposed to take care of what is turning into a tremendous sense of longing on my part.
I hate the feeling of wanting and wanting.
He says I am important and he is attached to me, yet if a single member of his family needs anything he will postpone or punt seeing me. Wednesday night after asking me twice if we were still on for the evening, he postponed because he had to go fix his Dad's lawmower. And acts as though I should understand. I thought men had affairs for the sex--but he sure acts like he can only handle a certain proscribed amount of that!
So I end it after one of these stupefying demonstrations of his priorities----yet when he contacts me there is such a naked sense of openess about him. Tells me I can't leave him. When we are together he maintains contact by calling me 3-5 times a day; tells me everythng that happens to him--- except about his wife. He has never once referred to his wife by name and never talks about her or the marriage unless I press. The most he has ever said is that they used to argue all the time and now there isn't even that.
He is 45; I am 49.
I really need advice or insight if anybody has any.
Oh, and I love the big jerk.

Hun, what dont you get? Im am a lot younger than you, and I see exactly what the problem is. HE IS MARRIED! Which means HE HAS A WIFE. You will not ever be the center of his universe! What kind of relationship do you as a mistress expect from him? 3 years, and you are no farther than you were when you first got involved with him, right? Have you ever heard the saying ''Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option'?

It is time for you to move on and create a life for yourself without him. A great many women think that they will be the one who is going to be so loved that the man will be willing to sacrifice his family for her. More often than not, these women have a great need to be able to prove that they can be loved more the mans current wife. Some say, that this stems from an unconscious wish for their fathers to love their daughter more than they loved their wives. Regardless of the reasons why you were available to have an affair with a married man, the bottom line is that you should bid him a fond farewell.

You must understand that most men would prefer to remain married and have an ongoing affair on the side when their marriage isnt working. It takes a lot of effort to get a divorce and split the assets. If you give in and become involved with him romantically, there is a good chance that he will never get a divorce. You really should take a stand and tell him that you care about him and want to have a relationship with him but ONLY when his divorce is final. If you dont make him choose, then you will stay in limbo forever. I believe in the saying, 'Actions speak louder than words.' It doesn't matter what he says. It matters what he does. If he is willing to have an affair with you while hes married, he'll do the same to you some day because he lacks character. I also believe that you should conduct your life by never doing what you would not want to have happen to you. If your marriage was in trouble, you would not want another woman stepping in until your marriage ended. He also may be angry and lonely is looking for someone to heal his wounds. You cannot mistake loneliness and pain for love.
Heres Dr Phils advice>
**It's time to move forward.
If you're putting your life on hold for a married man, he's stolen not only your heart — he's stolen your brain!**

**No matter how you justify it, you are attacking his family unit.
Even if he is separated from his wife, that is their business and you are a threat to their marriage. You aren't welcome and you don't belong.**

**You may feel that he's your soul mate, but think again.
A real soul mate would not set you on the sidelines. He wouldn't allow it, let alone entice it.**

**Keep in mind that you only know what he tells you.
You already know that he's a liar because he's living a lie with his wife and children. How can you be sure whether you're the only 'other woman' he has? Entertain the possibility that he is lying to you, and you are being used.**

**Think of his wife.
Is it fair to her? She's been married to him for however many years, cleaned up after him when he's sick, raised children with him, sacrificed with him, dealt with the 'damn dailies,' then you come in at the 11th hour and provide a contrast to that that's new and exciting and fun. You are intruding upon her turf. You are a trespasser. It is no different than being a thief in the night. It is no different than breaking into their house and stealing their things.**

**Even if your married man decided to leave his wife and family for you, that doesn't guarantee success.
Relationships born out of affairs survive less than 5 percent of the time. If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. If he's living this deception with you today, how could you ever trust him if you did get into a legitimate relationship with him?**

**Break off this relationship today.
You'll hurt, you'll feel broken-hearted, but you'll be better off. Take some time to get really clear with yourself about who you are and what you want. The most important relationship you'll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. And eventually, you'll fall in love again — with someone who's willing to make you first in his life.**

You need to move on. Have some respect. Not just for other people, but for yourself. The relationship isn't going anywhere. Weather you're looking for love or just lust, you really need to look elsewhere. A lot of people want pussies. Go find singles. But if you're not shallow like that and want a real relationship, then find a single that's looking to settle down also. WHO IS NOT TAKEN.

HES MARRIED!? girl get out now! have some respect for yourself! just completely ignore him, move house if you have to, change your telephone number anything just get out of this relationship!! never get in to relationships with people who are taken! it just never works! go find a new man but make sure he's single ok hunni! x

Wake up! You are on the bottom of his list and only when convenient. I dont know what your story is but as a stranger I will tell you that you deserve better than 1 that a week. I know you wonder what he is doing for the other 6! You are not getting any younger and you should want more than just a little piece of a man. Even if he leaves his wife and childeren for you (which after the details you gave prob wont happen) HE WILL DO it to you b/c if you dont care that he is married so he feels if you can dish it out you should be able to take it. Find someone who will make you a priority and not a Sunday option if there is nothing else to do. Think about his wife, you wouldnt want no one sleeping with your husband on Sunday! Church DAY!

I cannot throw a stone cause I am living in the same glass house. Mine told me he was single/divorced and I believed him. I was seperated from my husband at the time and was planning on divorce but knew it would be ugly so was in no hurry. I ended up divorcing, quitting my job, moving three hundred miles to his town and getting a job there. A year and a half later I found out he was married. He told me he was seperated. We were living together at the time so I had no problem believing that. He is a medical professional and usually has more than one job. He would be with me monday -Friday and leave friday night work the weekend in Jacksonville and come back Sunday night. I didn't know it at the time but a lot or all of those weekends he was spending with his family and they thought he was working out of town monday-friday. We both bought houses and were living in the one in his name when his daughter found out and drove her car into our house when I was home. I know what I should do but I have burned my bridges and I did it thinking I was in a longterm relationship with a single/divorced man and one that promised marriage.

What the hell are doing!??? He is clearly using YOU hun!! Get out now! Probably 0.001% of women will successfully steal a man away from his wife and kids! Most men are not too keen to abandon their families for a little bit of naughty sex and I don't think you want to be answering to the wife when she gets a hold of you and no doubt her husband the man you are in love with will be on her side because he will choose them over you. So leave this situation with a little bit of respect and dignity and get out of it. Do what you have to, to get him out of your life, because while you waste time with him your future single husband might be slipping away!!!!