Should I tell him I love him?

I dont know whether I should tell my ex-boyfriend that I love him. We dated over last summer and he was off stayin with his dad for the summer on the other side of the country so we really didnt get to know each other very well and things didnt work out in the end. but after we broke up we stayed friends, and my feelings for him have deepened for him so much over the past 6 months. we are still both attracted to each other and we often hang out with his friends or watch movies at his house or just sit and talk about random things. this usually results in us making out and sometimes going a good bit further.

the thing is... he has a girlfriend on the other side of the country, [where he spent his summer]. he doesnt talk about her, except at one point when he was telling me about her sending him a bunch of crap she drew in markers for him to put on his wall, and he said something about how stuck she was on him. but he really doesnt seem to care at all about the fact that he is cheating on her with me.

at first I tried to resist him and ignore the sexual tension between us. he would play around tryna kiss me but I would cover my mouth and all he could do is kiss me on the cheek. but... I still wanted him and eventually I gave up on trying to not get caught up. the first time he actually kissed me on the lips after we had broken up we were at his friends's house and on the way home he asked me if it made me uncomfortable, and when I told him I didnt want to be doin his girlfriend like that he was all confused about it an acted like he didnt see why I would care. that was back in september.

at this point we are exclusive when it comes to sex but I think he still has a long distance girlfriend. I know they broke up around christmas, but I do think theyre back together. so recently I decided that enough is enough and I need to get away from this 'ex' drama.

when I talked to my ex and told him that we werent going to be able to keep doin what we've been doing because I was going to start dating someone else and he can cheat on his girlfriend all he wants but I never cheat - he started asking me about the other guy I was probably going to be dating, an he was asking me all about what I had done with the guy (which, I havent done anything, I mean come on, I just met him about a week ago...) and he started really makin fun of the guys nickname. then a few minutes later he kissed me and took my cellphone out of the door of my car an started trying to go through my text messages until I told him to stay out my phone because he had lost his mind... he just said he was bored. technically, we are only supposed to be friends with benefits. but another friend of mine told me that it sounds to her like he is gettin 'attached'

personally, he makes me happy when he's with me and over the past 6 months I have really fallen completely in love with this guy. he told me that he trusts me and he knows that I would always be there for him no matter what, and I feel the same way about him... but I am afraid that, even though we have a trust for each other, that this relationship is still just on a 'just friends' level... but with benefits. so should I tell him that I love him? Does anyone think it would make a difference? I dont want to scare him away

I htink you should just tell him exactly how you feel...I think its becoming more than just a friends with benefits thing if he is going to go through your phone, he prob is falling in love with you to...u never know till you just sit down and ask him and let him know exactly how you feel!

thank you I will try to tell him soon. I am a little worried about how he will respond, but I really do need to know. Im just not sure how I'll bring it up...

From personal experience, telling him isnt going to make a difference. Hes getting everything he wants from you, so why would he commit to you? Sorry to say, but your being a fool to think that sex will make him come back to you. He still has a girlfriend, and its clear he doesnt respect her. Why would you want someone like that? Because its you hes cheating with? He doesnt have an ounce of respect for you either. A decent guy wouldnt use a girl for sex...even if it is his ex! Being friends with benefits, is only allowing him to use you without any strings attached. He is taking advantage of your vulnerability. I would bet, he already knows how you feel about him. I mean, why else would you be having sex with him? It only messes with peoples emotions. Then there is the whole... 'does this mean we are getting back together' thing. Most people who break up, one will still love the other and the other will be horny.

My ex was ALWAYS asking me about other guys too, and what I've done with them. That doesnt mean they are attached. They are just curious to know who you've done things with because they had you, or continue having you, as in your case, because guys can seperate sex, and love. He is just having sex with you without any emotional attachment. If he truly loved you, he would be with you, and you only! He wouldnt be cheating on his girlfriend, just because shes on the other side of the country. I never took my ex back, because this is the exact same game he played with me! I wasnt going to allow him to take away my self respect!

I dont think that sex will make him come back to me. Im not using a sexual relationship as some kind of bait. And if he has no real feelings for me then thats fine. But if he does, then I do want to know about it. Im not saying I think I think he loves me. Im saying I want to know what he DOES feel.

If your not using sex as a kind of bait, why are you still being intimate with him? Guys can have sex, without getting their feelings involved. Sex doesnt keep a relationship, nor does it bring one back! If you could read between the lines, you would see that he only feels lust for you. Otherwise, he would be in a commited relationship with you, not someone else!

What men want women to know about men & sex...

*Having sex with a man doesn't help him fall in love, make a woman more special to him, save a failing relationship or even guarantee a commitment will follow.

*When a man is serious about a woman, he will wait a long time for sex. A lot of men would even wait for marriage.

as it turns out he did break up with his girlfriend and stay broken up with her.
and I was having sex with him because we were both lustful and had SOME feelings for each other. mine were stronger than his, but in either case, to avoid future craziness we are no longer being intimate. I discussed it with him and we now have a strict friends only relationship. I told him that I do love him and I dont want to lose him, but I dont want to be friends with benefits or whatever else anymore. damn it feels good not to have to wonder anymore whether he's so intimate and gentle because he loves me, or because he's just a good lover. at first I thought I could handle it, but obviously sex with little or no strings attached is just NOT for me.