Should i see the handwriting on the wall?

I've been w/my boyfriend for 2-1/2 years. During the first seven months, everything was going good except he was constantly going through my stuff. So, I went through his phone records and found out he was seeing his old girlfriend the whole time we...

had been together. He was also talking to another old girlfriend and to his ex-wife (the ex-wife 10+ times a day). I confronted him and he asked for another chance (he said he had been hurt by women and he didn't trust anyone). Time went by and seemed to be going good, then I found out his ex-wife lost the lease on her apartment and was moving in with him. (He hid this from me and lied about it -- I found out indirectly from his daughter). He then helped her find a house with his real estate agent and helped her with the closing and moving. To top it off, he's been abusive to the point of broken bones. I know I sound crazy for staying with him, but the other side of him is very supportive, helpful and he gives good advice. We also have a lot in common - we run and hike together. But, the other side of him scares me to the point that I feel like I will be miserable if I stay with him. I don't trust him and this has caused problems between us because I keep bringing up the past and I don't like the person I've become -- an insecure woman with zero self esteem. But, he's never tried to make me feel secure about anything that's happened. He's also hyper to the point of extreme and always has to be doing something. Should I see the handwriting on the wall?

Yes. You already know the answer to it. Your heart tells you that you should leave him.

There can be no lasting good relationship without trust and security. You cannot be with each other 24/7 so you both need to trust each other. There appears to be a breakdown of trust on both sides. He is cheating on you so in turn is suspicious of you doing the same to him so he checks all your stuff. Him checking your stuff has led you to mistrust him and check his stuff. You have found him unreliable. Your security with him is gone because of his actions. You never know if he is cheating on you or lying to you. How can you hope for a good future with someone you cannot trust?

You have one life on this earth. Why spend it miserable with someone? It is not fair for you and not fair for him to be with you when perhaps the two of you on your separate ways could find true love with someone more compatible, loving, good, tenderhearted and caring.

Has he crossed the line and been physically abusive with you? This is something you must not tolerate. You cannot stay with someone that looses respect for you so much as to hurt you physically. Unless they get help for this, they will be abusive over and over and over again to the point of you being terribly hurt and them being sent to jail forever. Not a good life partner. It is best to say good-bye to guy that thinks you are his punching bag. They always act sweet to makeup but it is like the Jekyll and Hyde effect. They always turn back because they crossed that line already before.

God bless you on what ever you decide - don't feel bad to seek help from friends, family or your church - the more help and moral support you have, the easier your decision will be to undertake.

Hun, guys pray on weakness, he sees you as a helpless weak person becos he feels he can do wateva he wants to you and you will just stay by his side. Now i no how you feel, i had an abusive ex who treated me like you are describing your ex is treating you, and i stayed as well,still cannot work out why.but then............he left me! the best thing that ever happened to me, Dont rely on a man to bring your self esteem and confidence back esp since he was the one that stole it from you, HE WONT BRING IT BACK ever! he likes the fact you feel helpless becos you feel like you cant find better and wont leave him. LEAVE HIM! ou know you deserve better than this jerk! i didnt think id find better and i did, after alot of healing time by myself i got my own self esteem back and feel stronger than ever now and no guy will ever take that from me again. You can do the same thing, you no you can, you just have to have faith in yourself. I have faith in you. Leave him and you need to spend some time alone to find peace within yourself, once you build yourself up and get your confidence back, the right guy will be right around the corner and you wont even realise oe expect it trust me. You will find mr right, it just isnt this ass thats treating you like crap hun, please have faith in yourself, you can do this yourself.