She's only eleven

my daughter is almost 12 yo and all of her cousins and friends are older than her by 1-2 years and have boyfriends. well, now she has been caught talking to a 14yo boy on the phone who thinks she is 14 as well. I want to scream and lock her in her...

room, but I know that will only lead to more sneaky behavior. I haven't aproached her about it yet, but she know that I know. I plan to take her phone, t.v., and computer priviledges, but is this so abnormal? I don't want her to be anti-social, but I do want her to know that lying about her age is wrong. what should I expect from an almost twelve yr old and boys? and how should I handle speaking to her about it?

Girls these days are maturing so quick...my daughter is 10 and acts like she's 16, so I understand where you're coming from.

I have to be honest, though - I don't think removing all her privileges will do what you're hoping it will. By creating animosity and resentment, you're bound to drive her further into the behaviour.

You need to have one of those mother-daughter talks with her and explain the danger she is placing herself in. Let her know you're not angry, but you are afraid and you need her to promise you that she'll stop talking to older boys.

Encourage her to be open and honest with you, but remember that in order for that to work, you need to have an open mind.
I have a 15 year old daughter and we have a very open relationship. There's nothing she can say that would surprise me and I wouldn't have it any other way - it means I need to worry a lot less.

The best thing to do actually is to talk to her about it, calmly. There's nothing wrong with him being older than her by two years but you should try to get her to tell the boy her real age.

I would say to just calmly try to talk to her... tell her that she should tell the bot her real age... and exactly what you said, that lying about her age is wrong... if you just yell at her and tel her what she can't do then she'll just want to rebel and do it more... so just try to be calm and understanding with her... good luck...

its only two years apart, but you need to let her know that lieing to you, and that boy is wrong.

good luck

oh god.dont take her stuff!

giving hera phone at such a young age wasnt the best thing to do
because kids dont need phones
apart from that
taking away these things is a good idea
as is sitting her down and talking about what shes going through and how she and you feel about it
giving her information about things like
how people lie, arnt always who they say they are on the phone and internet
about phedofiles
about why she doesnt need a boyfriend at this age, ect

don't worry, I used 2 do tha same but 2 me age don't matter cause I was in love and when you n love you do crazy stuff,,, rite??? maybe they just friends... don't punish her, just talk 2 her bout it in a calm way... get used 2 the idea of her having a boyfriend... it happens lots

Hi, I'm 14. I think the best way to get thru 2 your daughter is 2 tlk 2 her about the issue. My mom and I have an open relationship where we can tlk 2 each other bout anything. Anytime my mom has a issue with my decisions she talks to me and usually she has good reasons and I usually give into them. I think taking her privileges away might make her rebellious and I'm sure you don't want that.

Anyway I hope this helped you

I am 18 and did the same thing, my mother sat me down and explained to me what happens when you talk to older boys, she put the world in perspective, she didnt hold back, and she also didnt get mad, she didnt punish me for doing it until I did it again, try sitting down and explaining to her what can happen if she talks to the wrong people in the world, if that doesnt work then take her stuff or only allow her on the phone or computer if you are in the room and can listen to and read everything the does.

shes 12!
cut her a little slack.

you said shes only TALKING to a boy

just because shes talking to the opposite sex doesnt mean shes doing something bad...

talk to her about it
I know this is coming from a 14 yr old
but advice from a child is sometimes better
then adults advice

cus sometime people dont remember what its
like to be their age

ya,, dont let her off the hook
but deffinitally dont take everything away

you know what shes doing isnt right and
youve probably been there done that
but this is her life she hasnt done that

she may be jealouse of her friends
and want to be like them

dont give her the mom talk
give her an advice talk like a friend would do to you
kids mostly block out parents when they yell at them
or give them lectures
so its basically useless

tell her what shes doing is wrong
and maybe tell her a thing you lied about and then got in trouble for
kids like to know that you werent perfect and that by telling her
that she knows you know why its bad
I cant really explain it that good but
I hope I helped

Ohh Oh oHh, +sounds Just like my older sister :| Thats TO young! I hated Boys at that age! she should be playing with dolls still now talking to boys, I think your gunna have a rough time ... My sister started having sex at 13 years old.. Maybe younger thats when my mom started to find condoms.. My sister was put in group homes, Maybe you should talk to your daughter and tell her that thats way way to young to start dating!! I feel for you, I hope things get controled!!

I am 18 and I think yu should sit down and talk with her NOT AT HER but with her you give her a sence of trust when you talk to her about it do not take her stuff away it will only piss her off and make hr mad at you and then start to hide stuff do not yell but just sit down and have girl talk let her tell her opinion the tell your you want her to trust that she can tell you anything you want her to know youll be there for her me and my mom are best friends I tell her evrything I let her know everything becuase sh doesnt get mad she just lets me know her opinion then I fallow it you were this age once you know how t happens its peer pressure afraid of not being accepted because shes not lder and her friends are so she tells a boy a white lie so he will still talk to her just in a calm way tell her what you think and trust me she will be honest with you when you yell is when we try to cover up our selves and hide thing well hope everything works out

She's lying - you're the adult parent - and you say nothing...sound right ?

Alright. I'm fifteen years old and from experience, it really helps to communicate. It's true when people say that teens look for trouble and attention when they crave it. Now you're probably a wonderful mother and it seems like you're very concerned about your daughter, but cornering her and getting upset (although you know what she's been up to) isn't going to be good. If she gets mad, these things may escalate. Also; nothing makes a girl like this more upset than realizing her mother has been spying on her. Now if I was a mother I'd be as concerned as you and you have every right to know what's going on in your daughters life, but you daughter may see it as spying and that ruins trust. The best way to get to her is to sit her down, let her speak and keep your cool, while also not letting her walk over your opinion.

on thing you need to talk to her and tell her its bad to lie about your age in these situations. shes eleven you say if the conversation is in a friendly mode or setting its ok but if it's more flirty id tell her to back off and don't get mad at the other kid he didn't know. Plus I dont think hed be interested you can tell an eleven yr old when you see one. Girls that young don't even know what there doing when they talk to guys there just don't get the consepts I think dating should start when you add teen to there age and when there mentally capable of being with guys. Any girl that wants to date at that age just want to act older than she really is and show off to her friends.

you must be a stricked mum like my mum LOL.. she obvously doesnt feel like she can trust you with her social, emotional life, she cant tell you were shes going, who shes talking to how shes seeing and definatly not how she feels about the guy.. I do understand you are frasturated but the only way to get beyond this is to sit her down and ask her nicely who is the guy, question her, donot raise your voice or get upset, ask her if she really likes him to bring him over, this way you will be able to see the type of people she goes out with! and this will make your relationship stronger.. dont take away her phone or tv etc that wont help.. just ground her 4 2weeks and take her with you everywhere you go, make sure your being normal to her..

take it from someone who has been in her situation. I am older 15 but when I was 14 I dated a 16 yearold and told my mom he was 15...not my best decision. when she found out I was at my dads and she yelled and screamed and flipped out. So all I did was continue going out with him just to piss her off...he ended up being the bigest jerk ever but I still got even with her. So don't yell at her just let her know that it's not...and they might not even be dating...just could be friends and she's just telling him she's 14 to fit in...I use to do that all the time.