What do I do if somebody I love is self harming themselves?

what do I do if somebody I love is self harming themselves? I keep telling the person to stop, I beg them to stop, but they just wont. I made them promise, and they still did. I was going to tell the person that if they do it again, im going to have to tell somebody. but if I say that, then they just wont say anything to me about how they hurt themself. and its somebody I really care about, and I love. I dont want anything bad to happen, and I dont want them to hate me. but I know that I cant keep letting this go, I have to tell somebody, but I just dont want them to be pissed at me. what do I do?

Just tell somebody! If she gets mad at you for getting her help, then fine, let her get mad. Once she gets over it she'll probably forgive you and know that you were only doing what you thought best. If she doesn't forgive you...then at least you did the right thing. Just make sure you tell the right person; tell someone that you trust and that you know she trusts too.
Good luck!

Get them psychiatric help immediately. By not addressing their problems you are enabling this behavior. Its not going to be pleasant getting them help but would you rather have them be mad at you? Or for them to not be alive?

I know, but if I do that they will be so mad at me. I want to tell somebody, I want to ger them help. but then they will think that I think they are crazy, and I dont know...I'd rather her be ok and never talk to me again, then have her not mad at me but seriously hurt...its so hard, I dont want her mad at me, I love her and care about her, and it sucks having the person you love so mad, but its even harder seeing them hurt themselves

make sure you always listen to this, and try to find out why the are hurting themselves. it's a hard pattern to break and can be very damaging to all people involved. the first step is really to talk to them and find out why; remember if you have nothing constructive to say just listen and let them know they are being listened to- it's much more powerful to be with someone then to talk at someone.

after you find out what is the issue with them assist them in finding the solution, and if this means seeking professional help then so be it, it DOES NOT mean they are weak to seek help; it takes more courage to speak out then it does to keep quiet.

best of luck

You need to take a step back. This isnt going to be pleasant but close your eyes...

and imagine the one you love laying lifeless on a cold metal table. They're dead and nothing can bring them back.

Now imagine how bad you feel right now by them being angry with you.

Now imagine how bad youd feel if they did something awful to them self and took their life? How bad you'd feel knowing you could have stepped in and helped.

Youre going to feel far more pain if this happens. Have you thought about getting some other friends together and doing an intervention? You can be far more effective when you have others with you to back you up and step in to tell her that her behavior is destructive and dangerous and also painful to those around her.

I once was kinda in the same position your friend is in. I was the cutter, and my friend wanted to tell someone.
I didn't want him to.
I promised I would stop; but I didn't. I told him that I was better; but I wasn't. then one day he found out on by accident that I hadn't stopped and got mad at me and threatened to tell somebody. but he still didn't. and I still didn't stop. now I have all these ugly scars that I'd rather not have and still, nobody knows (except for my friend). he never told anyone. frankly, I'm glad he didn't; I don't know how I would have reacted to someone else knowing and trying to "guide" me. but I know deep down that if he had told someone, if I had gotten help somehow, I wouldn't be living with so many regrets. I wouldn't be reminded of my past everytime I got dressed. I would be able to change in the locker rooms in front of everybody else. I wouldn't have to wear this STUPID HUGE bracelet everyday and worry about someone seeing something.
so yeah, while I would have been mad at him for a little while, I would've gotten over it and thanked him.
but I'm still not 100% better; I still do it sometimes.
and I hate it.
and nobody knows.
but ed88 is right; it takes more courage to speak out than it does to keep quiet.
let me know how things turn out

I know I need to speak out to somebody, I just dont know who. I might tell my mom, she always knows what to do about things ,and never judges, which is what I need right now. but its going to be so hard. life isnt exactly the greatest right now, and the last thing I need is to have a person I love to be mad...but if I use that as an excuse not to tell anybody, that would be really selfish of me, and really uncaring...I guess I need to tell somebody. I just hope she wont hate me

Simply stated hurting yourself is SERIOUS. Theres nothing glorious about self mutilation. Get her help ASAP! Theres nothing you alone can do to help her. Its beyond your control.

I know, it is something really bad and really serious. and I listen to her when she's telling me whats wrong, and I try helping, but I guess its not working. im not to great of a helper, I usually just try cheering people up with humor, which isnt the best, its not helping, just covering up. but I listen when she's teling me whats wrong. its not like she does it everyday for no reason, she didnt do it for a long time, then got in a huge fight with her mom and started to again, and in the past 2 days she's hurt herself quite a bit, marking up both her ankles. I told her to stop it, but she jsut said she didnt want to talk about it, and refused to listen to me anymore. so I dropped it. but I know now that I need to tell somebody, so I can help her

just be there for them , dont what ever you do judge them thats borrible when that happens, you cant just expect this person to stop it dosent work like that , I self harm myself and I've promised nearly everyone I know that ill stop because its what they want to hear to get them off my case! by telling someone else tho as tho it may seem like your helping them self harmers cover up for a reason and probaly dont want anyone else to know about it! just be there for there nad talk to them when they are upset ok and over time this person may stop! but if you do need to tell someone tell someone you can trust wont tell others adn yeah the person will get pissed of with you but I duno they might be ok with it just from my experince I've not spoken to people who have told others befor, and if you tell someone else let the other person know you have ok!
xxx

WELL I'VE BEEN THUR THAT before BUT I WAS THE PERSON HUTTIN MII SELE WELL TALK 2 THAT PERSON AND GET 2 DA BOTTOM OF IT AND LET THEM know YUR THEA 4 THEM AND YU LOVE THEM just MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THEY CAN C*M 2 YU 4 any THINA @ any TYME BUT WHAT THEY ARE DOIN IS THE WRONG WAY 2 HANDDLE IT BUT ME I WAS CUTTIN MII SELF 2 MAKE ME FEEL BETTER A BOUT THE LOVE OF MII LIFE LEAVIN ME WELL HOPE THIS HELP
!!*[[Mrz.J0neS]]*!!

I know, I would never judge her. its not like I hate her because of it, and im not making her feel like crap. I've been there too, for years. but then a bad experience changed my life and the way I felt about self harm. and I am there for her, I have been everyday for the past 2 years. I let her know that if she needs to talk, im always there. but she never wants to talk about things with me, she doesnt want to confide in me anymore. ever. she was depressed for like a week, and I kept asking her about it, and letting her know she could tell me, and that I would never judge her and never get mad at her, but she never told me. and as far as I know, she never told anybody. but I've been where she's been, I know what she's feeling, and I try as hard as I can to be there for her, to listen to her, and try to help, but I dont know if I am. I try hard to get her to stop, but nothing works. I thought it did for a while, she went a couple months without it, but then she did again a couple days ago, and then again yesterday, marking up both her ankles. I'd rather talk to her about it in person, but that wont be for at least a couple days, so I dont know. I hope I can make things better

If you really loved them you would call a counselor or something for them. Or try talking to them on your own. But personally professional help is only useless when people don't try to connect/cooperate. If you call the counselor and the person ends up mad at you, you still did the right thing. Because even though that person will dislike you, if they were your true friend, they'd come back.