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Respect... kind of a big problem

Asked by onequickquestion over 5 years ago, 3 answers.

hey.. my boyfriend doesn't always respect me. ok he does, really he does, if he didn't I wouldn't be with him but the other day we were out with my friends and he got all mad because he says that I act differently around my friends and he doesn't like that. he walked away at my birthday, but did come back shortly after.
I guess I could just keep them seperate although I wish I didn't have to, but I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend without it sounding bad. hes testy. I've tried but we always joke around being mean to each other, but its all joking. my friends think im blinded by my love for him and I shouldn't be with him if he does this, but I love him so much I can't bare to let him go. please help!! I've tried sitting down and talkin to him, and yelling doesn't work either. please help!! thanks

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Answered by eris on Dec 22, 2003, 07:00PM
| 13 answers.

If he can't deal with the fact that you act differently around other people than you do around him, I don't think he really respects who you are.

Sometimes, in relationships, we don't love the person we think we're in love with, we love the mental image that we construct of that person. I think this may be happening with him.

I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, I'm just saying that what may be happening is that you're upsetting what he sees as "you".

You can't change for him, or for anybody.

So... listen to him. What behaviors are you displaying that anger him? Are they part of the real you? Or do you feel you have to pretend to be someone else around your friends?

Bottom line... find out what he wants changed, figure out if it's something that *you* want or need to change, and then proceed from there.

All blessings.

Answered by flynnachick28 on Feb 12, 2004, 12:05AM

Ok if this guy can not respect who you are and how you act then he has a problem. I think you should talk to him tell him how you feel. See after a couple of times hangin out with him and your friends if he acts the same then leave him dont choose a boy over your friends. I think it was rude of him to walk away of your bday too

HOPE THIS HELPS

Answered by u_better_hollaback01 on Jun 09, 2005, 10:56PM
| 40 answers.

well you just need to tell him about that every one has a diffrent side and he probley does to maybe you could try and act like you do with him and if he cant take how you act in front of your friends tough and if your friends and if he loves you he would listen to what you have to say just tell him whats bothering you talk it out make it happen with know yelling

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